Developments (Post-Lilly NE) [Complete, 2015-08-11]

[dewelar]

People have already stated that something about this chapter feels off, and my own amateur opinion is that Emi folded to Hanako's logic rather quickly, when we had already established that Emi is a master at self deception.

You're right: Emi wouldn't fold...unless Emi wanted to fold. Going back to the VN, think about the chain of events that got set off by "After-School Plans".

[griffon8]

And I have a new favorite chapter.

It didn’t seem unusual to me that Emi began her epiphany because of talking to Hanako. When every conversation Emi has with every person has the subject of “Why aren’t you pursuing Hisao like you had been?” hiding somewhere in it, eventually a breaking point is reached. Hanako provided the proverbial ‘last straw’.

[Command13]

And I have a new favorite chapter.

It didn’t seem unusual to me that Emi began her epiphany because of talking to Hanako. When every conversation Emi has with every person has the subject of “Why aren’t you pursuing Hisao like you had been?” hiding somewhere in it, eventually a breaking point is reached. Hanako provided the proverbial ‘last straw’.

My thoughts exactly. Keep up the great work.

[forgetmenot]

I think I'm just going to refrain from stating any strong opinion until the dust has settled. Every chapter pulls me in a different direction, and while there's certainly a build-up of tension going, I feel... lost, I guess? I think this chapter might have been the proverbial 'tipping point' I was talking about earlier on in this thread somewhere, regarding pacing. There's still not a clear frontrunner, and you can look at any character that's involved and say why they may or may not have a chance at happiness. If there's a swift denouement coming, I can't see any way it'll satisfy this monstrous amount of building action that you have going. If the fic continues for another, say, 10 or 15 chapters... well, that's why I'm going to refrain from saying anything much at this point. I might be sorely mistaken.

On its own, this chapter is probably one of the best-written in the whole piece, so kudos.

I dunno. I seem to be the only person on these forums to express a modicum of hesitance, so take that for what it's worth.

[Mirage_GSM]

I dunno. I seem to be the only person on these forums to express a modicum of hesitance, so take that for what it's worth.

Well, I guess, I always "express a modicum of hesitance" so it's probably natural not to count me

[forgetmenot]

I dunno. I seem to be the only person on these forums to express a modicum of hesitance, so take that for what it's worth.

Well, I guess, I always "express a modicum of hesitance" so it's probably natural not to count me

Wait, hesitance isn't your middle name?

[Mirage_GSM]

I dunno. I seem to be the only person on these forums to express a modicum of hesitance, so take that for what it's worth.

Well, I guess, I always "express a modicum of hesitance" so it's probably natural not to count me

Wait, hesitance isn't your middle name?

No. I went to the registrar's offict to have them add it, but it was too much paperwork.

[Blasphemy]

Read the Emi/Hanako conversation again and eh, especially with the further hints you've already given, I can't find anything wrong. At first I wasn't the biggest fan of Hanako finishing Emi's thoughts like that because that's a bit cliché usually. But it's well justified here so never mind that.

I think I'm just going to refrain from stating any strong opinion until the dust has settled. Every chapter pulls me in a different direction, and while there's certainly a build-up of tension going, I feel... lost, I guess? I think this chapter might have been the proverbial 'tipping point' I was talking about earlier on in this thread somewhere, regarding pacing.

I could see how that fucks with the pacing somewhat but have to say that, to me, everything's so well executed that I don't mind, in fact rather enjoy, getting pulled in a slightly different direction with many of the chapters. If I felt like characters or plot were stagnating that would be problematic of course, but I don't think that's the case. Not quite being able to tell where exactly this is going is one of my favorite aspects about this fanfic anyways. So much good speculation to be had ;p


Anyways, I'm really looking forward to the next chapter which I assume would be from Lilly's POV. She's probably having the toughest time right now (Hanako hearing someone cry nearby ) and I'm really interested about her thoughts of the entire ordeal, as well as the conversation with Hanako she's most likely going to have.

[TyronePotato]

Just read all of the story, up until Chapter 44. You are doing a great job with it.

I like the little Hanako-Emi fight going down. They are both trying to get Hisao, but they have helped eachother out of their little holes of giving up multiple times. Along with that, Lilly coming back could be a setback for everyone, in fact, it has been.

All in all, the story is very well written, and I cannot wait for the rest to be finished.

[ogorhan]

Well I just read everything from the beginning up until now (yes my eyes are figuratively bleeding after what?, 14-15 hours of straight reading) and I have to say I'm loving it so far but I kinda feel its starting to drag a bit with still no clear cut "winner" on who Hisao will decide to go for, if he even does .

But I'd also say that in ch 44 we are seeing some key developments happening and im sure it wont take long until something happens. Looking forward for the rest keep up the good work.

[sanduba]

It's just a guess, but maybe he thinks she is the second best character (from a storytelling view) but completely not the type of girl he'd go for.
If so that would be close to my own thinking.

yep, that. She's a very interesting character, but if she were a 3D person...

[dewelar]

Hey, more new readers! Welcome, and glad you're enjoying the story so far!

It's just a guess, but maybe he thinks she is the second best character (from a storytelling view) but completely not the type of girl he'd go for.
If so that would be close to my own thinking.

yep, that. She's a very interesting character, but if she were a 3D person...

I do the same thing. It's why I always have trouble with the whole "best girl" thing, because it could mean so many different things. Best story? Most interesting? Best match for Hisao? Best match for oneself? And best match how? Relationship? Friendship? Superhero teamup? Supervillain teamup? Superfund cleanup? *shrug* The answers to all of them might be different, and some might even differ from day to day. All the main characters are my favorite in some way, I think. Maybe even Kenji .

Anyway, Ch.45 is currently in editing, so it should be up before the weekend is out.

[Blank Mage]

*stuff about best girls*

This problem is made worse by the inclusion of fan works. It seems like every fic I read changes my opinion of a character.

[brythain]

*stuff about best girls*

This problem is made worse by the inclusion of fan works. It seems like every fic I read changes my opinion of a character.

They wouldn't be any good if they didn't!

[TyronePotato]

*stuff about best girls*

This problem is made worse by the inclusion of fan works. It seems like every fic I read changes my opinion of a character.

They wouldn't be any good if they didn't!

Exactly.

Personally, I would like it if Hisao chose Hanako. Mainly for the reason that she is my favorite character. biasbiasbias.

If Emi were to cave, that would be a sight to see.

inb4 someone says;