bhtooefr wrote:Even in this era of everyone texting (I rarely do, however - screw typing on a crappy on-screen keyboard (yes, even Google Keyboard with the Swype-clone is crappy), and screw buying some ancient piece of crap with badly skinned Android 2.3 or 4.0 to have a real keyboard), it's incredibly crass to dump someone over text.
Exactly. Though I dunno what kind of garbage you've tried texting with since my iphone's keyboard operates almost exactly like a physical keyboard. It may help that I'm used to just using a single digit to type either way.
Just...Some things still need to be face-to-face.
I love the interpretation of Pac-Man where he's a just a lowly worker retrieving golf balls left all over the course by the rich masters and the ghosts are all previous workers who got conked on the head and killed by incoming golf balls in the line of duty.
I think I've told the story of me having zero freinds until high school life so I think I'm gonna start from there,
I was thirteen or fourteen and had been playing rugby for my local team for about a year, and my coach thought I was improving a lot and he offered me some after practice routines to work on my kicking and fitness (since it was just me and him legally he wasn't allowed to do anything else and spoilers[spoiler]this isn't a child abuse story[/spoiler]).
After a few months of usual rugby training and the extra my coach was giving me I was getting pretty good, and I was feeling better, everything in my life was clicking into place, I'd started secondary school, started making a few freinds and even my rugby was improving. I felt like as long as I had rugby to clear my head and socialise I'd be ok. my coach must have seen my improvement because when the county trials came he picked me over the kids that had been doing it for years so of course I was over the moon. My brothers and parents overreacted and made me feel part of the family, like it wasn't an outcast anymore, even when I didn't make it in they where still there, and I really think it brought me closer to them. Like I wasn't inept as they thought I was.. But mabye I'm being stupid.
Anyway back to the story, so yeh I didn't get in, but I didn't care. I felt like I'd already overachieved by getting that far, so I kept training and working hard and kept trying to improve, and over the course of another year I did. I worked my balls off every week and my game was improving massively. I was rearing to go every game I played and more often than not played well ( or it could just be me hyping myself but what ever), I met a girl who later actually was my first girlfriend, and honestly. My life was good.
So I was pretty pissed off when my coach put another kid forward for county trials instead of me, but he just told me someone wants to meet me, then took me I to a room with two blokes in suits. I was shitting myself and suddenly my mum and dad came in, just as confused as I was. Then the men spoke, they where youth coaches at lecstier tigers, and wanted me to come training with the youth team for a few weeks with the chance of a year involment if it goes well, eventually leading onto a place in the leicster tiger academy and if I worked hard enough, pros. I accepted and after a few weeks they asked me to continue for a year, my mum and dad didn't have a lot of money but they threw a party and the whole do dar for me, It was embarrassing with all my family there but I still loved it. And I loved laying in the leicster youth team.
That's when things started going tits up. It was all going well and I was holding my own against the other kids, and I was doing well. But then I started falling, I stopped working hard because I thought I didn't need it and basically abandoned any freinds I had, I fell in with the wrong crowd and started doing stuff I really shouldn't at that age. It was so bad that every other night I was either out drinking or smoking weed, and then my girlfriend left me.
That pissed me off, I didn't do anything for weeks. No training, no school no anything. Eventually I got up and started life again but I wasn't who I was, it took the shortest thing to set me off and it was the anger that fucked my life up.
During school a kid in our year was throwing his weight around, thinking he was big because he had a few freinds and that pissed me off, any other day I would've just ignored him like everyone else did but like I said, the littlest thing set me off and I leaped at him. I started hitting him and he was pretty messed up by the time his freinds pulled me off. Two of them held me down while the others kicked the shit out of me, literally. By the time my brother and his mates got the guys I had already had broken ribs, a punctured lung, broken arm, broken nose and they beat my legs so bad I couldn't walk. My brother carried me to the reception and they phoned a hospital. I was in and out of hospital for a month, and they told me tht my rugby career was over before it even started.
I have never cried more than when I heard that I couldn't play rugby, that was my plan. That was all my life was, and I just cried and cried and cried. I had no back up plan and was royally fucked, I still had a year of school left but wasn't exceptional in anything, it turned out I'd get pretty average scores, and my old freinds forgave me eventually and my best freind even said he'd give me a job if I got into college. I started it again with my girlfriend and we are still dating to this day, and in a few weeks I'll be moving in with her... In our own place.
But I didn't know that then. I thought my life was over. And I have never been as low as that moment.
"Ohana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind. But if you want to leave fine. Just know that I'll never forget you." - lelo and stitch
"What you talking 'bout tezuka" - Gary Coleman (RIP)
That was harrowing. I am glad you've come out of it feeling positive because I cannot begin to imagine you feeling you'd thrown it all away in one stupid moment.
I feel terrible and need someone to talk to. Yet I don't know what's wrong with me ( - Rin), and not sure if I'd be able to say something meaningful. Late at night and no outlets, nobody to talk to and instead I'm begging for attention on a forum on the internet. I suck at everything I do, and I know I'm being judged at this very second.
But wait. I do have something cohesive to say.
Wait, no I don't. Fark. I'm just having a weak night, and a single day ago, I felt unstoppable.
RandomPerson wrote:I think I've told the story of me having zero freinds until high school life so I think I'm gonna start from there,
During school a kid in our year was throwing his weight around, thinking he was big because he had a few freinds and that pissed me off, any other day I would've just ignored him like everyone else did but like I said, the littlest thing set me off and I leaped at him. I started hitting him and he was pretty messed up by the time his freinds pulled me off. Two of them held me down while the others kicked the shit out of me, literally. By the time my brother and his mates got the guys I had already had broken ribs, a punctured lung, broken arm, broken nose and they beat my legs so bad I couldn't walk. My brother carried me to the reception and they phoned a hospital. I was in and out of hospital for a month, and they told me tht my rugby career was over before it even started.
.
I admire you for going after the asshole. You didn't just stand by and let him be a dick - you did something. The cost was dear, but you are not one of the many who just stand by.
kyuuen-zutto wrote:I suck at everything I do, and I know I'm being judged at this very second.
No shit. You judged yourself in literally the same sentence...And judged us to be judging you, which justifies judging you as judgmental.
Oh dear, I've gone cross-eyed.
Anyway. Feel better.
Last edited by Potato on Thu Jul 10, 2014 1:13 am, edited 1 time in total.
I love the interpretation of Pac-Man where he's a just a lowly worker retrieving golf balls left all over the course by the rich masters and the ghosts are all previous workers who got conked on the head and killed by incoming golf balls in the line of duty.
Damn. You're right. Well, that didn't take long at all.
..and yes. Really bad move of me to predetermine what I think how others are perceiving me - but, I guess I assume that's the way most of the world works? (Also a problem of mine - either way, I'm sorry..)
kyuuen-zutto wrote:Damn. You're right. Well, that didn't take long at all.
..and yes. Really bad move of me to predetermine what I think how others are perceiving me - but, I guess I assume that's the way most of the world works? (Also a problem of mine.)
I do appreciate the response, though..
Eh, it's a common problem. I'm pretty much paranoid about everybody around me all the time. And that's not even an exaggeration.
Maybe you'll feel unstoppable again tomorrow. Though, as a fleshy meat-person, one should always remember never to take "unstoppable" too literally. An oncoming train will stop you. As will Captain Planet. My point being, don't litter.
I love the interpretation of Pac-Man where he's a just a lowly worker retrieving golf balls left all over the course by the rich masters and the ghosts are all previous workers who got conked on the head and killed by incoming golf balls in the line of duty.
Going to sleep will help make the world seem a little less darker.
Sleep always helps. Well...Not always. It can get addictive. But usually.
I love the interpretation of Pac-Man where he's a just a lowly worker retrieving golf balls left all over the course by the rich masters and the ghosts are all previous workers who got conked on the head and killed by incoming golf balls in the line of duty.
kyuuen-zutto wrote:
So, I guess it's a really bad sign that I consider a nap or a full nights rest to be one of my strongest coping resources? Haha.
Yeah, and I couldn't sleep. For now. :<
I know that feeling. Try and focus on the things that you're good at - EVERYONE (and I mean EVERYONE) has a skill of some description, and most of the times it's either useful or something to be proud of. If you can judge yourself better, other people 'judging' you (which they may very well not be) won't seem as bad
I made some custom banners for some non-steam games (and some other games that needed them). (Including Katawa Shoujo). Even though it was just moving around and pasting images and centering logos, I did feel good when I made those.
I'm not good enough to make a career out of it, but now I got a nice little icon of all of the girls, all next door to such company as Half Life 2 and Mass Effect..
So i've been kind of stressed lately. Computer and internet troubles galore, and i'm still at the tender mercy of government agencies even though i am now a professionally trained cook. So, what better way to blow off steam than go through Katawa Shoujo for the first time in over a year?
Oh, why look at that! IT KEEPS CRASHING WHENEVER I TRY TO GO THROUGH THE FULL STORY INSTEAD OF JUST DIGGING UP EXCERPTS FROM THE LIBRARY MODE!
...i blame Google.
The fear of blood tends to create fear for the flesh.
It may help that I'm used to just using a single digit to type either way.
