Yamaku Book Club (20220124 Dish Washing)

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Mahorfeus
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Re: Yamaku Book Club (Now Reading: Weekend at Hisao's)

Post by Mahorfeus »

I'd complain about it being another high-profile one, but hey, that would just be for the sake of complaining.

It's definitely worth something talking about.
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griffon8
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Re: Yamaku Book Club (Now Reading: The Decision)

Post by griffon8 »

Just a quick note to comment on what people have had to say about my story.

Thank you all. Apparently, I succeeded in my objective. Looking back, the speech definitely could be improved. Thank you, dewelar, for the praise about how much author's notes I provided.
Mahorfeus wrote:But I am sorry to report that no manly tears were shed this time around.
Well, I'll just have to do better next time, won't I. :lol:
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Sea
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Re: Yamaku Book Club (Now Reading: Weekend at Hisao's)

Post by Sea »

Image
. . . . That means go
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dewelar
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Re: Yamaku Book Club (Now Reading: Weekend at Hisao's)

Post by dewelar »

Well, guess I'll be the first to dive in once again :) .

So, I suppose I'll start off with:
dewelar wrote:I wonder if it will hold up...
Well, KS was my first VN, and WaH was therefore not just my first KS fanfiction, but my first VN-related fanfiction, period. Thus, my view of it, from its place in my headcanon that was formed in the afterglow of having just finished reading KS itself, was quite idealized. It didn't quite live up to that, but it did hold up better than expected.

So, let's start with the first chapter, which I'd forgotten was originally a one-shot with an option on a full story. One thing I found interesting is that Hisao's primary observation in this chapter, that Shizune gets off on the thrill of being discovered in flagrante delicto, not only wound up getting dropped in later chapters, it got thoroughly squashed a couple chapters farther in. I'm not sure if that was intentional or not, but given that Hisao never comments on it after that I'm going with "not". It feels a bit like a case of early-installment weirdness.

Outside of that, this story is very light on plot, and very warm-fuzzy. One of my favorite lines from one of my favorite movies describes it quite well: boy meets girl, they have problems that aren't too weird, and they live happily ever after. For those who appreciate that kind of thing, there's a lot to like here: Shizune and Mr. Nakai bonding over playing go; Hisao apologizing and reconciling with his friends; and of course the proposal scene, which is pretty damn close to perfect. The wedding scene and drabbles-tag were nice too. There's also a fair amount to dislike, though. Pretty much every single problem is solved way too quickly and easily, and Shizune is generally presented as the embodiment of a wish-fulfillment fantasy, which is a bit off-putting.

Overall, for me the good outweighed the bad, but I won't quibble with those who find it the other way around.

...

...

...

Oh, the H-scenes? Yeah, they were well-written, generally. The joke with Nakai père giving Nakai fils the energy drink got a chuckle. One major issue I had, however, was that when Hisao was tied to the bed, I found myself wondering how Hisao would stop Shizune if he did have a heart attack during coitus. I'm not sure Shizune would be able to respond to any kind of signal under those conditions. Ah, well.
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AntonSlavik020
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Re: Yamaku Book Club (Now Reading: Weekend at Hisao's)

Post by AntonSlavik020 »

Absolutely loved it. One of the first KS fanfictions I read, and still one of the best. I'm a fan of Shizune, meeting Hisao's parents stories, and the girl meeting Iwanako, so this story had alot going right for it. I like Hisao's parents, particularly when his mom asks him if he is using protection. Honestly, there isn't much about the story I didn't like. I know this isn't a very in depth look at it, but I'm not very good at that. Suffice to say, this is at least the 4th time I've read this story, and it is officially part of my headcanon.
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Hoitash
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Re: Yamaku Book Club (Now Reading: Weekend at Hisao's)

Post by Hoitash »

This was one of the first fanfics for me as well, and I really liked how it brought closure to Hisao's past. Hisao seemed to realize how poorly he had left things with his former friends in Shizune's route the most, and I liked that that was followed up. Hisao's friends don't stand out much, yet they don't seem wooden and cardboard; they're characters in their own right, doing their own things. I'd say that's a big part of why this fic works so well, because it's two biggest points are Hisao's past and his relationship with Shizune. Both need to be addressed and worked with fluidly and naturally, otherwise it would fall flat.

I feel bad for Misha, though, which is why I ended up writing my own fanfiction. So in a way it's this story's fault I've been inflicted on you all :wink:.

Anywho, the story brought some great closure to Hisao's past, and it also demonstrated a Hisao/Shizune relationship that while harkening back to the VN, also seemed like an actual relationship; something her route seemed to struggle with. Showing Shizune's caring side more thoroughly then the VN helped with that, I think.

So yes, I'd say Weekend at Hisao's holds up very well. The first chapter might be a bit disconnected from the rest of the story, but overall it's an excellent continuation of Shizune's route that seems incredibly natural and proper.

One final note: I still find it amusing that while haggling Shizune literally explains to Hisao the value of a dollar :).
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Blank Mage
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Re: Yamaku Book Club (Now Reading: Weekend at Hisao's)

Post by Blank Mage »

To make a long post short, this is still my favorite Shizune piece. My reasoning requires a little more explanation.

Shizune is certainly one of my favorite characters in the Katawa 'verse, although I'm loathe to rank them, (it seems like my opinions change with every fan fic...) but it seems to me like Shizune is often portrayed as antagonistic at best and straight up mean at worst, whereas in the VN, Shizune shows a surprising amount of compassion and tact when she needs to. It kinda sucks when your favorite(?) character is used as a vehicle for the express purpose of ruining other character's days. It doesn't help that Misha's translations are somewhat removed from Shizunes actual thought process. For all of these reasons, I tend to treasure the rare look into Shizune's character without the bubbly pink filter that is Shiina Mikado, and outside the scope of the Hanako/Lilly/OC routes.

Weekend at Hisao's doesn't disappoint. Now, I'm traditionally not a fan of H content, but otherwise WaH nails the playful and competitive nature of Shizune without going too far. The back and forth banter is light hearted, but hints at a deep relationship, and the addition of Hisao's parents, and the interactions that follow, feel natural. I agree the drama was a little too easily resolved, but I'm willing to chalk that up to character development; both Shizune and Hisao have experience in working through problems by now. (I also learned I can't hear 'Iwanako' without associating all of Mean Time to Breakdown to the name, making the restaurant scene into some sort of weird parallel world convergence. )

In short, this is a version of Shizune that almost perfectly matches the one in my head, and this story feels like a fitting epilouge.
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brythain
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Re: Yamaku Book Club (Now Reading: Weekend at Hisao's)

Post by brythain »

I think this was the first Shizune epilogue fanfic I ever read, in terms of what I'd think of as a 'proper' piece of longer fiction — something that makes you think of the characters as people with real lives and feelings and passions and thoughts. I came away from it then and, still again, now, with the sensation that I had met the 'real' Shizune Hakamichi having a living relationship with Hisao Nakai. Things like the dialogue, the descriptions of her clothing and the way she chooses it… the way she engages in a game of Go with the elder Nakai, all these things made it a great experience.

(Un)fortunately, and through no fault of themocaw, it made me wonder how Shizune would have developed if she'd NOT ended up with Hisao. It's easy to come up with facile extrapolations, but we really have barely enough to make a 'real' Shizune story. So themocaw was the first writer I'd encountered whom I felt had done this in a way that convinced me—enough to believe in her having a relationship and enough to make me care about what would have happened if not.

It's also what influenced me into not daring (yet) to write much about Hisao's parents. His parents as described here have almost become my head canon, and I think if I were to write about them, I'd just be cloning themocaw's version. Sigh!

Lastly, the h-scenes are well done. Just the right touch of realism and fantasy, while actually making use of the characters' traits and personalities. Wonderful stuff, all round.
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Mahorfeus
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Re: Yamaku Book Club (Now Reading: Weekend at Hisao's)

Post by Mahorfeus »

This was one of the first fanfics I read on here. It was almost right after I had binged through everybody's routes. Shizune's had decidedly been my least favorite in the end, and that's a sentiment that I know now that a lot of people on here share. Part of the reason for me was that I did not much like Shizune in general. So maybe naturally, I had not originally been inclined to give this fic a chance. Well, I got over that, and I am glad I did.

Shizune was remarkably in-character throughout this story, and what was weird was that I actually liked her as a character because of it. In a way, it literally forced me to reexamine the way I had interpreted her during my playthrough of her route. Her interactions with Hisao and his parents are all well done, and speaking of which, Hisao's parents were rather well done themselves.

Of course, one of the highlights was Hisao's reunion with his high school friends. At some points I kind of felt like it could have stood on its own as a story. Misha's phone call being one of the weaker parts of the story for me in that regard. The reunion itself however was pretty great. It utilized one of my favorite headcanon concepts, that the VN doesn't even really touch on - that Hisao's friends might have left him because he pushed them away without realizing it. Shin, Takumi, and Mai are criminally underused characters, which is ironic since they are all blank slates. Hisao never makes any real attempt to link to his past in the VN, so to see it happen was wish fulfillment.
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Sea
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Re: Yamaku Book Club (Now Reading: Weekend at Hisao's)

Post by Sea »

Alright, enough of the main stuff, lets get to the side stories. I'll fire these off 1 a day, so tomorrow round this time the next one will begin. FIrstly:

On the Couch – Sidestory by themocaw (completed, 2.966 words)
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dewelar
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Re: Yamaku Book Club (Now Reading: Weekend at Hisao's)

Post by dewelar »

Sea wrote:Alright, enough of the main stuff, lets get to the side stories. I'll fire these off 1 a day, so tomorrow round this time the next one will begin. FIrstly:

On the Couch – Sidestory by themocaw (completed, 2.966 words)
Oh, we're covering those separately? I've always pretty much read those in-line, since they're more like skippable H-scenes within the main story than stories unto themselves (and are included in the navigational section in the main story's OP).
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forgetmenot
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Re: Yamaku Book Club (Now Reading: On the Couch)

Post by forgetmenot »

dewelar wrote:
Sea wrote:Alright, enough of the main stuff, lets get to the side stories. I'll fire these off 1 a day, so tomorrow round this time the next one will begin. FIrstly:

On the Couch – Sidestory by themocaw (completed, 2.966 words)
Oh, we're covering those separately? I've always pretty much read those in-line, since they're more like skippable H-scenes within the main story than stories unto themselves (and are included in the navigational section in the main story's OP).
Might be neat to cover the H-content separately, though. There's a lot of things to be said about H-scenes that don't necessarily apply to full stories, and vice-versa. Doing them separately might be a cool way to have some of that discussion without feeling like we're derailing a much larger topic.
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Re: Yamaku Book Club (Now Reading: On the Couch)

Post by Mahorfeus »

I'd have rather had it all treated as a whole, to be perfectly honest. There are a lot of lesser known fanfics that could use attention.
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Blank Mage
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Re: Yamaku Book Club (Now Reading: On the Couch)

Post by Blank Mage »

Mahorfeus wrote:I'd have rather had it all treated as a whole, to be perfectly honest. There are a lot of lesser known fanfics that could use attention.
I'm inclined to agree. There isn't much to discuss about the h scenes, here, since they don't exactly add to the story or characters. I'm not saying they're bad, I just don't see anything to review in them.
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Sea
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Re: Yamaku Book Club (Now Reading: On the Couch)

Post by Sea »

Alrighty, then we shall move on to:


After The Dream (Emi's Story) – Epilogue by brythain (complete, ca. 10000 words)
PoV: Emi; Pairings: Hisao x Emi; Hideaki x Hanako; Begins: after Lilly's neutral ending
Remarks:
After The Dream (Hanako's Story) – Epilogue by brythain (complete, ca. 15500 words)
PoV: Hanako; Pairings: Hisao x Emi; Hideaki x Hanako; Begins: after Lilly's neutral ending
Remarks:
After The Dream (Lilly's Story) – Epilogue by brythain (complete, ca. 8800 words)
PoV: Lilly; Pairings: Hisao x Emi; Hideaki x Hanako; Begins: after Lilly's neutral ending
Remarks:
After The Dream (Rin's Story) – Epilogue by brythain (complete, ca. 14700 words)
PoV: Rin; Pairings: Hisao x Emi; Hideaki x Hanako; Begins: after Lilly's neutral ending
Remarks:
After The Dream (Shizune's Story) – Epilogue by brythain (complete, ca. 6600 words)
PoV: Shizune; Pairings: Hisao x Emi; Hideaki x Hanako; Begins: after Lilly's neutral ending
Remarks:

One of these! So I'm trying to keep an even mix of all the girls and there happens to be one for each here, so I thought we'd bring back the poll just for this. Basically vote for which one you'd most like to see and that it shall be. Voting ends late May 6th, see you then!
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