You suck at writing. So do I. Everyone does. Write anyway.gullim92 wrote:Dear devs, a friend of mine who regularly spends time on this forum recently proposed that we work together on a visual novel.
We are discussing possible plot and he's out of ideas at the moment.
Is there anything you'd like to tell to an amateur story writer to get some motivation?
Ask!
Re: Ask!
<Aura> would you squeeze a warm PVC bottle between your thighs and call it "manaka-chan"
<Suriko> I would do it if it wouldn't be so hard to explain to my parents
<Suriko> I would do it if it wouldn't be so hard to explain to my parents
- Munchenhausen
- Posts: 1845
- Joined: Tue Dec 17, 2013 4:43 am
- Location: Leicester, UK
Re: Ask!
Aura, can we see a photo of your eyes?
Like stupid, silly doodles with no point? You've come to the right place, friend :^)
I also occasionally write oneshots. Why not have a skimread?
Miki fic? Miki fic!
---
"We are a small country full of the most stubborn bastards on the planet. You might want to rethink your actions." - Anon
I also occasionally write oneshots. Why not have a skimread?
Miki fic? Miki fic!
---
"We are a small country full of the most stubborn bastards on the planet. You might want to rethink your actions." - Anon
Re: Ask!
I tried to make sense of the Lilly timeline question but as I'm not Suriko and I happen to know that pretty much everything in KS related to locations outside of Yamaku and its immediate vicinity is retarded, I'm not going to attempt an answer. I can't even tell where Lilly is physically in some of those scenes (required to make sense of south/north) because we only refer to them by the internal scene codes, not the names. Your best hope is him showing up.
<Aura> would you squeeze a warm PVC bottle between your thighs and call it "manaka-chan"
<Suriko> I would do it if it wouldn't be so hard to explain to my parents
<Suriko> I would do it if it wouldn't be so hard to explain to my parents
Re: Ask!
There's a public photo out there that shows one of my eyes. Should be good enough.Munchenhausen wrote:Aura, can we see a photo of your eyes?
<Aura> would you squeeze a warm PVC bottle between your thighs and call it "manaka-chan"
<Suriko> I would do it if it wouldn't be so hard to explain to my parents
<Suriko> I would do it if it wouldn't be so hard to explain to my parents
- Suriko
- Lilly Writer, Hanako Co-Writer, Producer
- Posts: 1507
- Joined: Mon Aug 20, 2007 3:10 am
- Location: Australia
Re: Ask!
It's been years, and Lilly's path was a mess of continuous and haphazard edits. From what I can remember, this is closest to what was intended.
Family lives in A, owns the summerhouse as C
They move to Scotland
Akira sells up and she and Lilly move to smaller southern house B (the 'real house')
They keep C as a holiday home/retreat
I'm pretty sure it was something like:Atario wrote:It seems to me it's like this:
- Family lives in House A (the one near a city on Hokkaido)
- Family moves to House B ("our real house", the one fairly south of Sendai/Yamaku), keeping House A as a vacation home
- Parents move to Scotland
- Lilly and Akira decide to (and/or convince parents to) sell House A to buy House C (the small Hokkaido house in the country which we see on the weekend trip)
- They continue living in House B, using House C as a vacation home
Family lives in A, owns the summerhouse as C
They move to Scotland
Akira sells up and she and Lilly move to smaller southern house B (the 'real house')
They keep C as a holiday home/retreat
Re: Ask!
Wait, so they lived in A and summered in C, even though the two houses are quite close together?Suriko wrote:Family lives in A, owns the summerhouse as C
Well, shit. This makes a significant chunk of my fanfic-in-the-works have an inconsistency with the canon.Suriko wrote:Akira sells up and she and Lilly move to smaller southern house B (the 'real house')
Ah, screw it, I like it too much to change it now. I'll just let it be inconsistent…
- SpecimenSix
- Posts: 486
- Joined: Wed Feb 20, 2013 3:12 am
Re: Ask!
I think I've missed my window since I'm sure A22 won't stop by the forums for at least another year, but I've always wondered since I first joined these forums...what the fuck is his user avatar?
I am bad, and that's good. I will never be good, and that's not bad. There is no one I would rather be than me.
Re: Ask!
Then again, imaginary boarding school for imaginary girl who goes to imaginary academy… would be nice to find real-life analogues all the time, but what can we do?
Question: how much physical detail was provided for each character when working on art and story? Or were just the obvious plot points worked out?
Question: how much physical detail was provided for each character when working on art and story? Or were just the obvious plot points worked out?
Post-Yamaku, what happens? After The Dream is a mosaic that follows everyone to the (sometimes) bitter end.
Main Index (Complete)—Shizune/Lilly/Emi/Hanako/Rin/Misha + Miki + Natsume
Secondary Arcs: Rika/Mutou/Akira • Hideaki | Others (WIP): Straw—A Dream of Suzu • Sakura—The Kenji Saga.
"Much has been lost, and there is much left to lose." — Tim Powers, The Drawing of the Dark (1979)
Main Index (Complete)—Shizune/Lilly/Emi/Hanako/Rin/Misha + Miki + Natsume
Secondary Arcs: Rika/Mutou/Akira • Hideaki | Others (WIP): Straw—A Dream of Suzu • Sakura—The Kenji Saga.
"Much has been lost, and there is much left to lose." — Tim Powers, The Drawing of the Dark (1979)
-
- Path Writer
- Posts: 865
- Joined: Thu Apr 26, 2007 7:01 pm
- Contact:
Re: Ask!
Dudes, take your conversations about where Lily went to school or whatever the hell this nonsense is about to a different thread. You got as much of an answer as you're going to get from this thread.
Re: Ask!
What do you mean by physical detail? Provided by who? To whom? If by physical you mean their actual physique, the strategic measurements question was discussed a few pages back. We didn't count the number of moles on anyone's butt, but obviously things like mannerisms, posture, body language and such are important to be able to both write and illustrate a character. I spent a lot of time with kamifish thinking about Rin's body language, because she can't use hands which are a fairly important form of nonverbal communication.brythain wrote:Then again, imaginary boarding school for imaginary girl who goes to imaginary academy… would be nice to find real-life analogues all the time, but what can we do? :)
Question: how much physical detail was provided for each character when working on art and story? Or were just the obvious plot points worked out?
<Aura> would you squeeze a warm PVC bottle between your thighs and call it "manaka-chan"
<Suriko> I would do it if it wouldn't be so hard to explain to my parents
<Suriko> I would do it if it wouldn't be so hard to explain to my parents
Re: Ask!
Thanks; I think that outlines the range of my question and answers it in general. While you didn't count the number of moles on anyone's butt (to use your figure of speech), was there anything you did at that level of detail re the characters' physical selves? For example, where exactly do Rin's arms end, and what is the extent of Hanako's scarring?Aura wrote:We didn't count the number of moles on anyone's butt, but obviously things like mannerisms, posture, body language and such are important to be able to both write and illustrate a character. I spent a lot of time with kamifish thinking about Rin's body language, because she can't use hands which are a fairly important form of nonverbal communication.
Post-Yamaku, what happens? After The Dream is a mosaic that follows everyone to the (sometimes) bitter end.
Main Index (Complete)—Shizune/Lilly/Emi/Hanako/Rin/Misha + Miki + Natsume
Secondary Arcs: Rika/Mutou/Akira • Hideaki | Others (WIP): Straw—A Dream of Suzu • Sakura—The Kenji Saga.
"Much has been lost, and there is much left to lose." — Tim Powers, The Drawing of the Dark (1979)
Main Index (Complete)—Shizune/Lilly/Emi/Hanako/Rin/Misha + Miki + Natsume
Secondary Arcs: Rika/Mutou/Akira • Hideaki | Others (WIP): Straw—A Dream of Suzu • Sakura—The Kenji Saga.
"Much has been lost, and there is much left to lose." — Tim Powers, The Drawing of the Dark (1979)
Re: Ask!
Those are not comparable levels of detail. Scarring or Rin's arms are significant aspects of character design because they're almost always on view and draw attention, butt moles aren't. Granted, fibbing any detail can be jarring to an observant audience, but we didn't sweat them too much. Getting big things like your examples more consistent is just in the nature of artists. I guess Hisao's penis could be one example of semi-unnecessary detailing, especially since it ultimately didn't show too many times in the final VN.brythain wrote:Thanks; I think that outlines the range of my question and answers it in general. While you didn't count the number of moles on anyone's butt (to use your figure of speech), was there anything you did at that level of detail re the characters' physical selves? For example, where exactly do Rin's arms end, and what is the extent of Hanako's scarring?Aura wrote:We didn't count the number of moles on anyone's butt, but obviously things like mannerisms, posture, body language and such are important to be able to both write and illustrate a character. I spent a lot of time with kamifish thinking about Rin's body language, because she can't use hands which are a fairly important form of nonverbal communication.
<Aura> would you squeeze a warm PVC bottle between your thighs and call it "manaka-chan"
<Suriko> I would do it if it wouldn't be so hard to explain to my parents
<Suriko> I would do it if it wouldn't be so hard to explain to my parents
Re: Ask!
There was a question I want to ask about Hanako's route, specifically its plot. While the rest of the routes (except for maybe Rin, as I've yet to play hers so can't be sure) follow a similar template consisting of becoming closer friends with the love interest, eventually confessing to the LI or vice versa which begins the romantic relationship, relationship comes close to (if not) breaking up, due to a certain circumstance, and following each good ending, eventually repairs itself.
Obviously, this is different in Hanakos route due to her very shy nature that in a way, brings the whole process back a step. My question is was there ever a scrapped plot that included the 'arc' of a genuine relationship that comes close to break up due to some circumstance, but is then resolved; and if so, was there an idea of what that circumstance could've been?
Obviously, this is different in Hanakos route due to her very shy nature that in a way, brings the whole process back a step. My question is was there ever a scrapped plot that included the 'arc' of a genuine relationship that comes close to break up due to some circumstance, but is then resolved; and if so, was there an idea of what that circumstance could've been?
SpunkySix wrote:Lilliddy dillidy doo, bee-boppin' that blind bugaboo.Potato wrote:Lilly diddling herself
Re: Ask!
I can't answer this without massively ruining Rin's route for you, so here's the answer in spoiler tags for everyone else and for you after you've read it. No peeking.
Yes, Rin's route is exactly this. She's thematically an "anti-love interest" where she and Hisao don't ever really click, and she's not even all that interested in romance. Her entire framework of human relationships and what she values is just different from Hisao's (and most readers'). The events in the story like the atelier arc and especially its conclusion just accentuate this. It's arguable whether the schism even gets resolved or not, in the end. There were no other storylines with similar dynamic.
Yes, Rin's route is exactly this. She's thematically an "anti-love interest" where she and Hisao don't ever really click, and she's not even all that interested in romance. Her entire framework of human relationships and what she values is just different from Hisao's (and most readers'). The events in the story like the atelier arc and especially its conclusion just accentuate this. It's arguable whether the schism even gets resolved or not, in the end. There were no other storylines with similar dynamic.
<Aura> would you squeeze a warm PVC bottle between your thighs and call it "manaka-chan"
<Suriko> I would do it if it wouldn't be so hard to explain to my parents
<Suriko> I would do it if it wouldn't be so hard to explain to my parents