Two halves make a whole [Iwanako pseudo route] [on hold]

[griffon8]

TL;DR, do not write this fic and Leaty is a huge jerk.

Shocked, I am shocked, that Leaty had an opinion to offer on this fic!

[Leaty]

That Leaty chick, she's a mouthy motherfucker amirite

[forgetmenot]

Furthermore, I have to be brutally honest here and say that your writing isn't ready for primetime. Your use of language here is more amateurish than amateurish, your utilities are abysmal, and your pacing is clumsy. Moreover, I can't help but think that the only reason you want to write this fic in the first place is because you want the legitimacy of having written a route for a canon character without the baggage of writing a route for a character like Suzu or Rika that's already been nicely-defined by various fanfiction authors in a lot of readers' eyes. I can't see anybody with distinguished tastes actually enjoying your writing in its current state. If you're just trying to get better at writing, fine, but don't expect to have much of an audience for your literary noodling.

Shots fired

All the rest of the

If I may, I agree that the concept of this as a pseudo-route doesn't work. Hisao doesn't get a happy ending with Iwanako. To do so would cheapen the whole of KS. That's just how it is.

However, I do think this could be realized as a fic where Hisao and Iwanako don't get a happy ending from trying to rekindle their relationship, for the same reasons it did in the hospital. Neither of them realized, of course, that their relationship was doomed to fail from the moment Hisao had his heart attack, because there was absolutely no common footing between the two. It'd be like trying to start a romantic relationship with a dolphin (i.e., neither of you belongs where the other does). It'd be interesting to see that played out at Yamaku over a series of visits or something of that ilk.

But those are just my two cents. And the exchange rate on the currency over here in stretching-the-limits-land is pretty abysmal these days.

[monkeywitha6pack]

So basically no one thinks I should write this? I guess I'll sleep on this but no one is even letting me have a chance, i wrote one chapter screwed up and spent the days since I posted that one rewriting it, But i need to decide on whether or not to update it for every person who wants to see it 5 don't want to

[monkeywitha6pack]

And the reason I didn't someone like miki suzu or any of the ones you listed is not cause of the 'baggage' they carry its the fact its been done, I don't want prime time. I want to write someone and not feel like I'm copying themocat or numb or semisoftcheese

[Leaty]

If I may, I agree that the concept of this as a pseudo-route doesn't work. Hisao doesn't get a happy ending with Iwanako. To do so would cheapen the whole of KS. That's just how it is.

However, I do think this could be realized as a fic where Hisao and Iwanako don't get a happy ending from trying to rekindle their relationship, for the same reasons it did in the hospital. Neither of them realized, of course, that their relationship was doomed to fail from the moment Hisao had his heart attack, because there was absolutely no common footing between the two. It'd be like trying to start a romantic relationship with a dolphin (i.e., neither of you belongs where the other does). It'd be interesting to see that played out at Yamaku over a series of visits or something of that ilk.

Huh, see, now that I like. It'd basically be like how the Hanako route was originally planned (as a "trap" with three bad endings and no happy endings, with the true Hanako Good End hidden along the Lilly route,) with the implication that it was the consequence of living through the Kenji ending, let's say. I'd even go so far as to say that if ever there was a fic that needed branching paths (all of them leading to disaster,) that'd be the one.

Very clever.

And the reason I didn't someone like miki suzu or any of the ones you listed is not cause of the 'baggage' they carry its the fact its been done, I don't want prime time. I want to write someone and not feel like I'm copying themocat or numb or semisoftcheese

So... make an OC then. Why would you feel like you were copying Themocaw to begin with? By that token, wouldn't you feel like you were copying me if you wrote an Iwanako route?

[monkeywitha6pack]

But what your writing has nothing remotely to do with Iwanako being with Hisao. And I'm just not a person to do whats been done. I was big fans of those routes you mentioned I would feel that no meter what I would put what I loved from those stories into mine without intention. But that wasn't constructive that was just kinda mean, I was really exited to post something I have written after months of reading other people's and you come and tell me to stop writing it and it's a 'literary noodle'

[monkeywitha6pack]

It's like I don't see a fic I don't like and tell them to stop writing and stop trying I let them go on maybe make a post and try to hep them so it can become better

[Leaty]

Hey, you solicited my advice on writing an Iwanako route. My advice is, do not do it. If Guest Poster or Helbereth asked me the same thing, I'd give them the same answer. I'm not being mean. This is nothing personal. I have better things to do with my time than troll random people on forums.

If you're insistent on moving forward with this, I can't stop you, anymore than I could stop NekoDude. Go right ahead. I just think it's an absolutely terrible idea.

[monkeywitha6pack]

First off I didn't ask you for advice on the route I asked for advice on the character I had my mind set on the route much before I asked you, and second yeah you worded that very mean, if you read the comments you would see the reason for all the errors and that they are or well were getting fixed

[Leaty]

First off I didn't ask you for advice on the route I asked for advice on the character

Hi, I'm sorry to bother you but I'm working on a pseudo Iwanako route and wanted to know if you had any advice or tips

Seriously? Seriously.

[monkeywitha6pack]

I meant on the character. No offense but if I was looking for advice on writing I would ask someone's like themocat or forgetmenot or semisoftcheese or sargcat (or whatever it is) or a writer I'm a fan of

[Leaty]

Oh man, . You really got me there.

Well, I guess you're not looking for advice on your writing so I guess that means that you've just given everybody license to ignore you entirely. I'm going to leave this thread before I give Silentcook a cerebral hemorrhage.

[monkeywitha6pack]

Saying someone's terrible and should stop writing isn't advice it's just mean but w/e let's end the fight so I can move on and try to make something someone will enjoy

[Comrade]

Forget it, I'm not getting invloved in this