The Approach of Shadows

[Despero Balatro]

Hello everyone this is my first time posting on these forums, but I have been following the development KS for quite some time and would like to take a quick opportunity to thank 4LS for their dedication in making KS a reality.

Only recently have I looked at the fan fiction boards and have been impressed with the quality of some of the stories on here. Thus I felt inspired to try my hand at a small story of my own.

Please provide feedback, as I am working to improve my writing skills. This story focuses on an original character and I do hope you enjoy it!

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Hour of the Wolf

I awaken with a start and catch myself, as I'm about to fall over. I look around confused, surrounded by the pitch darkness, and a shot of panic ripples through my nerves a moment. I wonder where I am as I pull myself up from slouching on a hard surface. The wind murmurs through the trees around me and the breeze is filled with a nighttime chill. My memories trickle back, I recall the stinging memory of fireworks and the blur of events earlier in the day. I rub my neck and shoulders and groan as I feel around the hard bench. Dozing off here was impressively stupid.

It was the evening of the Yamaku Festival, the last few days preparing for the festival have been so busy I've missed a lot of sleep. After fulfilling my obligations for the festival I went off on my own to relax. Finding some quiet spot on the edge of campus I watched the fireworks show. Apparently some time after the show ended I dozed off.

I gingerly get to my feet, still rubbing my neck with one hand, trying to ignore the disquieting stillness that had descended over the school grounds. The rushing sound of wind washing over the trees alone breaks the silence and the sound of leaves seem to fill the whole world with their noise. I take a few tentative steps forward and feeling the edge of the sidewalk, I turn and start my walk back to the dormitory.

"Well, this wasn't one of my better ideas." I mutter to myself as a branch snaps under my foot and stumble. I look down at the inky darkness spread out before me, can't see my feet or the sidewalk I know that stretches out in front of me. I sigh, at least I know where I am and I've been at Yamaku long enough to avoid getting lost walking around the school grounds at the very least.

The piercing brightness from the constellation of lamps lining my path make it apparent that I am heading back to the center of campus. I glance up at the row of lights, 5 to go, I am just coming up on the main building now, I quickly turn my eyes back to the inky darkness as they begin to water. Despite my difficulties, it is not as though the path isn't properly lit for most people.

I've lived with night blindness for almost as long as I can remember, so I ought to have known better than to go off on my own late like this. However something about the crowded festival and the organized chaos of the class 3-2 food stand made the fireworks seem like something I needed to take in on my own. The thought that the next time I am at a fireworks show I might not even be able to see them drifts unbidden into my mind.

I shake my head, tightening my grip on my cane and push the thought down, no that's not likely, even in my case, I will not lose vision that quickly. But still, that fact is there, it is inevitable someday I will really and truly be blind.

Retinitis Pigmentosa, or RP, is a degenerative condition that will leave me irrevocably blind by the time I am 30. Of course it could be worse, as my doctor often likes to remind me - people with my condition often suffer from other serious congenital disorders, causing everything from dementia to heart failure. On the other hand I like to remind myself that it could be a lot better, my eyesight is failing rather more swiftly than most cases.

My thoughts drift back to the fireworks show, they were really something. Almost unbearably bright, like suns exploding and dying in space, terrible, but beautiful. Despite the hassle of walking back, it was worth it. After all, this will be my last year at Yamaku.

Suddenly I slouch to a halt as my cane runs into something large across the sidewalk. I think to myself that fortunately I noticed the hazard this time as it seems I'd been tripping over a log instead of a branch. As I am puzzling over this new obstruction the smell of booze reaches my nostrils and a memory from home leaps into my mind. I'm standing in the pitch darkness, gripping the stair railing, listening to a screaming voice as the smell of cheap whiskey wafts up from downstairs. I shake my head, trying to dismiss the memory and focusing my attention on what is in front of me.

Probing the object at my feet with my cane, it doesn't feel like any part of a tree, as it gives slightly to the touch. An icy wave of realization washes over me, this is a body, somebody is laying on the sidewalk.

"Hey, hey you there, a-re you Ok?" I call out, my voice cracking.

I drop down and extend my hands out, feeling a broad mass of cloth, from the material it feels like a coat. The lack of buttons or zippers makes me realize that this must be the person's back. But something is wrong, they aren't moving at all! I move my hand to the left, up to what I realize are the shoulders. They seem pretty broad and I move my hands towards the head. I think it's a guy. My fingers brush against his neck, which is covered in something sticky and cold. My stomach lurches as I identify the stench of blood and jerk my hand away.

"Shit! Fuck!"

His neck feels twisted and unnatural, like a thick, knotted rope. I imagine a pair of empty fish-like eyes staring at me. My blood smeared hand shakes as I grab for my cell phone and fumble with it, pressing the speed dial for Yamaku's head nurse. He picks up after the second ring.

"Hello, Yamaku's Head Nurse speaking," from the edge in his voice I can tell he already suspects something must be amiss.

"There's someone here on the sidewalk, he's not moving... I think he might be dead! I'm on the north side of the main building, I don't know what happened to him."

"What? Are you sure? What is his condition?"

"I... I don't know, he's laying on his stomach... he's cold, his head and neck are bloody and his neck... it's messed up. He's not breathing."

"He's cold?" there is a pregnant pause on the line before the Nurse continues, "Is he a student at Yamaku? Do you know who it is?"

"I'm blind damn it, I don't know who the hell it is!"

"Whoa, stay calm, we'll be there shortly - stay on the line." I hear some muffled dialog on the phone directed at someone; the nurse is barking sharp orders at the staff. Then I hear the sound of wind rustling on the line. "Just stay where you are, we're on our way. Who are you? You must be a student, correct?"

"Yes... I'm Kousei Takaya, I'm a 3rd year at Yamaku."

"Are you injured in any way?"

"No, I'm not."

"Is there anything else you can tell me about him? Don't move him, just tell me anything you can."

"I don't know, he's not breathing... his head and upper body are on the sidewalk. Maybe he hit his head, I don't know. I... I think he's been drinking, I smell booze on him."

[Despero Balatro]

There's a brief pause where I can only hear the sound of wind and the Nurse's breathing before he speaks up again. The night seems to have sucked away all the other noise and I hear my heart pounding in my chest. I close my eyes and see a vision of cold dead eyes staring at me, a begrudging expression on his face.

"Ok, thanks. You're north of the main building, right? Do you know how close you are to it?" the Nurse's voice snaps me out of my disturbed vision.

"Y...yeah, I'm pretty sure I'm close, I'm right by the northeast corner."

The silence of the night is broken as I hear the distant sound of voices; I turn towards the glaring line of lamps straining to make out anything. Next the sound of rapid footfalls drifts on the cool evening breeze. I shiver involuntarily.

"Ok Takaya we can see where you are I'm going to hang up the phone, hold on alright?"

I let the phone fall away from my ear, my arm hanging limp at my side, still clutching the phone, as my mind struggles to grasp the reality of the situation unfolding in front of me. I move to close the phone - but my fingers feel stuck together.

"Hah, that's right." I mutter to myself - blood, the smell of it still fills my nostrils. His blood is still on my hands. I feel my stomach lurch again.

Anger suddenly bubbles up in me, damn it, I might be useless here, but I'm not going to make the situation worse by being a weakling and losing it.

My grip on the phone tightens as I distinctly hear the voice of the nurse calling out to someone to prep something called an AED and the ventilator.

I stuff the phone into my pocket, cringing inwardly a moment at the sticky feeling of blood on it. Grabbing my cane I stand up and back away from the body. Dark shapes flitter in front of the lamplight. The sounds of activity and the Nurse barking orders punctures the night air. I fix my expression in what I hope is a stoic look and try to follow the conversation between the medical staff.

"I can confirm that patient is a Yamaku student," I hear the voice of the Nurse, "Hisao Nakai, 17, suffered from chronic arrthymia. Continue to check for vital signs."

There's a flurry of ruffling clothing and footsteps as the medical staff gather around the body. I hear the Nurse grunt and then the sound of a click, a light appears close to the ground.

"Note clouding of the eyes and lividity of the ventral side," he pauses, breathing out a long sigh, "stand down, there won't be a need for resuscitation."

He grunts again and I see the flashlight rise and flick away towards the main building.

"Huh, look at that. The typhoon fence is pulled down."

"Suicide?" asks another man's voice that I don't recognize.

"It's a bit early for speculation."

The flashlight flicks in my direction; I blink and shield my eyes.

"Sorry about that," says the Nurse, clicking the light off. I hear him step towards me "and sorry you had to get involved in this situation."

"Confirm that the patient lacks vital signs and is deceased," said a woman in a cool, clinical tone.

The Nurse turns back towards her.

"Thank you Ms. Akiyama," the Nurse pauses a moment, "call the police, they will need to secure the scene and contact the coroner. And call Principal Sayama, he'll want to know immediately that there's been an incident."

I hear the rustling of clothing as the medical staff follows his orders.

"Sorry Takaya, but you'll have to come with me for a bit back to the medical office. Can I offer you an arm?" He walks around to my left side.

"Ah, yeah." Reaching out tentatively I grab onto the offered arm and we begin to walk through the grass back towards the campus center. I'm not used to being guided like this, normally I can get around just fine on my own, but on a dark night, this one in particular I'm grateful for the assistance.

I realize that this won't just be a something I'll be able to brush off and forget, a death on school grounds, especially that of a student will be a major incident. Was it a suicide? If so, it's a tragedy, if it isn't, it might be even more of a disaster. Schools have been ruined by such incidents I'm sure.

We walk fairly briskly, but in silence, except for the Nurse mentioning stairs and our location and it is not until he offers me a seat in his office that is in the auxiliary building that he speaks about what happened.

"I apologize for you getting pulling into this, but since you were the first person on the scene it can't be helped. There will be certain formalities that will have to be dealt with. But before all of that, how are you doing? Can I get you anything?"

"I'm... fine. I don't need anything," I swallow and wince, noticing that my throat is painfully dry. "Ah, maybe a glass of water, please."

The Nurse gets up and I hear the faucet turn on, I lean back a bit in the chair and feel the hard back press into my shoulders. I close my eyes a moment, the faint medical smell and the bluish haze of the lights is at least familiar. I came down here fairly often to check up on my vision. As time passes my eyes start to adjust to the higher levels of light and I can see the Nurse approaching me with a glass of water.

[Despero Balatro]

"Here's your water."

I take it and drink it gratefully. I hear a chair creak as the Nurse sits across from me at his desk. He waits patiently, expecting me to make the first move, I guess. From what I can make of his expression, he seems to be working hard to stay neutral, but I see the worry in the crease of his eyebrows. I speak up to break the silence.

"What happened to him?"

"I don't know yet, I suspect we won't have a clear idea until the police at least have a chance to finish their preliminary investigation. It could be some time till we know for certain what happened."

"You don't know what killed him?"

The Nurse shifts in his seat, looking uncomfortable. "I believe that he must have fallen from the roof of the main building."

"Was it a suicide?"

"It's too early to tell if that's the case... Takaya, you may have overheard that the victim was a Yamaku student, Hisao Nakai, did you know Nakai?"

I shake my head.

"No, I haven't met him. I guess I heard his name before, he was a new transfer student - we don't get those often so I guess people in my class were talking about him. He seemed pretty normal from what people were saying, lived on the same floor as Kenji Setou in the dorms."

"Ok. It has been about a week since Nakai enrolled here, only a few student here likely knew much about him. Setou is in your homeroom class, do you know if he ever talked about Nakai?"

"No, but Setou doesn't talk about much of anything in class, I guess you could say he's a pretty difficult guy to get along with in general."

"So I've heard," the Nurse pauses, "Tell me about how you ended up walking around school grounds this late?"

Feeling the warmth rise in my cheeks, I wonder if is this starting to resemble an interrogation?

"I guess I was late walking back, uh I was watching the fireworks." I say. Does that sound strange? A mostly blind guy walking around at night so he can watch a fireworks show by himself? I feel sweat bead on my neck. "I wanted to get away from the crowds, it seems I nodded off afterwards and I took my time getting back."

The Nurse raises his hands apologetically. "Don't worry, you're not in trouble. Curfew observation ranks pretty low on our priorities at the best of times, especially on a festival night. You also did the right thing calling us right away." I focus my field of vision on his face, trying to read his expression.

He leans back in the chair and gives what I suppose is a fair imitation of a reassuring smile. "Since you're the first on the scene, you'll likely be answering these sorts of questions a few times, but don't worry, just answer what you can to the best of your knowledge. But when it comes to your classmates, I would avoid the subject if you can, and avoid giving details if you must say something. The rumors surrounding this sort of thing are bad enough and undue attention directed towards you will only get in the way of your education."

The Nurse sighs and rubs his eyes, I realize he looks older than I've ever seen him before. "With the way rumors travel in this place people will undoubtedly realize you know something about this situation and will want to get more from you, but we don't need to encourage that if it can be helped." He leans forward and smiles, but his eyes look into mine without a glint of his usual humor. "Do what you feel is right and trust your gut. There will be many people who will tell you exactly what to say and how to say it - they will be looking out for the interests of one thing or another, but won't necessarily be concerned with your well-being."

"Ok, I understand." I say in a quiet voice. Somehow it seems that this will end up being a burden I'll have to carry for my time here at Yamaku. Nakai, why the hell did you have to die?

"Oh, but if you've got a good friend or two that you trust implicitly, it might be worth letting them in on it." The Nurse says this, clearly reading my troubled expression. "Well, that's all I've got to say on the matter." He raises his arm to look at his watch and says, "The investigators ought to be on the scene shortly, I'm sure they'll have some questions for you, but I doubt it will be too long before we let you go back to your dorm, so hang in there a bit longer."

Sure enough just a little while later there is a knock at the door and the Nurse rises to get the door.

The Nurse stayed around throughout the questioning. It didn't actually take as long as I expected, but the light of dawn was starting to filter in through the windows by the time the questioning was finished. Between my uncomfortable dozing off on the bench and the emotional drain of this whole night I am completely exhausted. The questions were much like the ones the Nurse had asked earlier. I'd imagine that for this case most of the conclusions they would be drawn from examining the body - after all, there's only so much information I had to offer on the subject.

"Alright Takaya, thank you for your time." said the older investigator who lead the questioning, he handed me a card and went on, "if we have any further questions we will be in contact with you, or if you have anything else to contribute that maybe useful, please call and let me know."

"Ok, thank you."

"Detective Dojima should be able to escort you back to your dormitory." the investigator gestures for the younger officer at his side to step forward.

"No thank you, I will be fine." I stand up and glance over to the Nurse who gives me a smile, albeit a slightly weary one, he will be answering their questions next, and I doubt he will be getting any sleep anytime soon.


"Just get some rest and don't worry about classes tomorrow, I'll get in touch with your instructors." said the Nurse. I nod to him and to the investigator who seems content to let me go, so I walk as briskly to the door as my exhausted state will allow me. As the door closes behind me, I hear the voice of the Nurse:

"Let's finish this up, the principal is undoubtedly champing at the bit to have a preliminary report of this incident."

The door closes with a snap and I turn to look down the brightly lit hallway, the fluorescent glare causes my head to pound, but the thought of my bed and a dark room to lie down in drives me forward.

As I step outside I hear the stirring morning song of the birds, everything is peaceful and quiet - as though nothing dreadful had happened this night. I'd imagine everyone at the school is still asleep blissfully unaware of the events that passed. I feel nothing more than the desire to sleep and join that legion of the unconscious, of course, unlike for Nakai, I will awaken again to rejoin the world.

Suddenly I realize I'm already standing at the front door to my room and begin to fumble around for my key. Somehow I just blanked out the majority of my walk to the dorm, so much for the better perhaps, there's nothing about tonight I want to remember.

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Thank you for reading! Please let me know if there is any interest in continuing the story and as I said before, please offer any feedback on my writing whether it concerns technique or style.

[Mirage_GSM]

Ah, a fresh story concept, an intersting OC and a well written story.
I like it.
Except for an additional "as" in the third sentence I didn't notice any mistakes either.


Oh, and welcome to the forums!

[Despero Balatro]

Ah, a fresh story concept, an intersting OC and a well written story.
I like it.
Except for an additional "as" in the third sentence I didn't notice any mistakes either.


Oh, and welcome to the forums!

Thank you for the feedback! I fixed the mistake you mentioned and I'll keep working on extending this story I think. The characters and setting of KS is fun to work with, so I'll see what I can come up with.

[Blasphemy]

I really like the premise of this story, I think it has a lot of potential. It could take a couple of interesting routes, for example maybe Kenji gets into trouble (if they check for him quickly they'll know he was drunk too)? Not necessarily because of this MC but rather the police investigation. There can of course be good conversations with all the girls and their reactions to the announcement will be interesting to see. I dunno, I think with this premise you could create quite the unique route that differs a lot from e.g. how the KS VN routes play out. As you mention in the story, schools can be ruined with incidents like that. Especially for Yamaku it can't be good to have a drunk boy commit suicide by jumping from the roof. Or accidentally falling because of a damaged fence. Or... murdered even?!!

Now this is my first time pointing out errors/flaws, so bear with me if I'm completely wrong about anything. Here's what I've found:

I'm standing in the pitch darkness, gripping the stair railing[,] listening to a screaming voice as the smell of cheap whiskey wafts up from downstairs.

I think there needs to be a comma.

I shake my head, trying to dismiss the memory and focusing my attention on what is in front of me.

Just focus may be more appropriate here?

Is he a student at Yakamu? Do you know who it is?"

It's Yamaku. Just replace all the instances.

Don't move him, but just tell me anything you can.

I'd simply use "just" instead of "but just".

Dark shapes flitter in front of the lamplight, the sounds of activity, the Nurse barking orders punctures the night air.

Seems like a weird sentence structure to me.

There have been schools have been ruined by such incidents I'm sure.

I apologize for your having to be involved in this

you

But since you were the first person on the scene [it] can't be helped

missing "it"

The Nurse shifted in his seat, looking uncomfortable.

Sudden use of past tense.

at night so we can watch a fireworks show by himself?

he

and avoid giving detail if you must say something.

details rather

I'd imagine that for this case most of the conclusions they would be draw from examining the body itself

Hmm, maybe "I'd imagine that for this cast most of the conclusions would be drawn from examining the body itself"? Also without the "itself" sounds better to me.

" said the older investigator who lead the questioning, he hands me a card and goes on

tenses mixed up

- as though nothing dreadful had happened this night. I'd imagine everyone at the school is still asleep blissfully unaware of what happened.

Kind of a repetition with "happened". Maybe use "unaware of the events" for the second time.

Somehow I just blanked out the majority of my walk to the dorm, so much for the better that way I guess,

Sounds a bit off. Perhaps just "for the better I guess" instead?

[Mirage_GSM]

Seems I missed a few things - even mixed up tenses^^° That's what I get for commenting in a hurry just before leaving for work...
A few of the things Blasphemy mentioned are really just a matter of style and preference, though:
- "focusing" is okay in that sentence (even "focussing" would be) It depends on whether he's trying to focus or actually doing it.
- That "weird sentence structure" seems to be in fact a stylistic choice to show how confusing the scene is to the almost bline MC.
- "I apologize for your having to be involved in this" - slightly archaic and seldom used, but technically correct.
- "to give detail" is a figure of speech, so plural isn't needed. I'd recommend it though.

[Blasphemy]

Thanks for clearing that up.

After googling a bit about present participle I think I also understand why focussing and focusing both would be right, as that's the difference between AE / BE. Because the "u" vowel isn't stressed it would be single "s" in AE but double "s" in BE, right?

[Mirage_GSM]

One is AE the other is BE - don't ask me about the whys, though. I'm no anglicist^^°

[Despero Balatro]

Thank you Blasphemy, you had good corrections, so I have made some adjustments to the text. It's not a very long piece of writing, yet it's remarkable how errors can creep up on you!

In the case of the Nurse's dialog - I'd imagine he'd keep to a pretty informal tone most of the time, partly to keep students at ease, though I would also think of him being the sort to be extremely serious in an emergency. It's an interesting balancing act, though I may have come down a bit hard on the serious and formal end of the scale.

[griffon8]

I will admit that when I see a new story by a new author, I try to read the reactions of others before I invest my time. You have pleased Mirage, so that definitely tells me to read it!

I always find stories taking place after the Kenji end to be a little depressing, but you are making this interesting. Well done.

Only errors I noticed were some instances of:

"[Something said]." he said.

That first period should be a comma.