Rooftops (An Emi Story)

[Comrade]

BTW I added this to the archive, if you want me to take it down PM me

[Numb]

BTW I added this to the archive, if you want me to take it down PM me

Oh, I have no problem with it being there. However, I did notice you failed to capitalize my name

[Comrade]

Shame on me then.
anyway, i think that this forum needs more dark stories.
fixed

[khhero]

I opened this a bit ago then my browser crashed and i restarted my laptop for updates, then a few minutes ago I reopened this and I thought it was a good story but dem feels hurt so much here ... and I read some of the comment I almost passed laughing I got so light headed it still hurts!!! ... the miki route stuff sound interesting ...

[Numb]

I opened this a bit ago then my browser crashed and i restarted my laptop for updates, then a few minutes ago I reopened this and I thought it was a good story but dem feels hurt so much here ... and I read some of the comment I almost passed laughing I got so light headed it still hurts!!! ... the miki route stuff sound interesting ...

I actually have most of the plot points laid out in front if me now, I just need to figure out a way for Hisao to meet her, preferably one that hasn't been done yet. I had one idea involving Hanako, but I am not happy with it yet. No worries though, I have had friends of mine look over the notes and they say it is a great start, even though none have read KS yet! I will leave you with this though, Tanabata happens, and there is drama

[Shail]

Having fun kicking puppies today I hope?

[Comrade]

Having fun kicking puppies today I hope?

You should stop, unless you want SC to nuke you again.

[Numb]

Having fun kicking puppies today I hope?

Look, I understand you don't like endings like this, but please, try not to be judgemental on my style? It is true, I write a lot of dark stories, but I am not limited to them like most people seem to be. Hopefully this shows in the Miki route when I am am happy enough to release it, and I can finish it, but until then, at least leave some constructive feedback?
i don't mean to cause any offence, but judging people based on one thing they wrote is something I have had to deal with in reality, having been sent to therapy because my writing scared my family. It is humorous looking back on it, and I may write something about the experience one day, but I have had enough with being judged on something that doesn't convey my personality in any way.
Sorry for the rant, but I need to vent. I have been under stress recently

[Comrade]

Having fun kicking puppies today I hope?

Look, I understand you don't like endings like this, but please, try not to be judgemental on my style? It is true, I write a lot of dark stories, but I am not limited to them like most people seem to be. Hopefully this shows in the Miki route when I am am happy enough to release it, and I can finish it, but until then, at least leave some constructive feedback?
i don't mean to cause any offence, but judging people based on one thing they wrote is something I have had to deal with in reality, having been sent to therapy because my writing scared my family. It is humorous looking back on it, and I may write something about the experience one day, but I have had enough with being judged on something that doesn't convey my personality in any way.
Sorry for the rant, but I need to vent. I have been under stress recently

I.agree whole heartily.
If you don't like his style then leave him alone, there is no need to go on a personal attack just because you don't like dark stories.

[Lloyd Snow]

Having fun kicking puppies today I hope?

Look, I understand you don't like endings like this, but please, try not to be judgemental on my style? It is true, I write a lot of dark stories, but I am not limited to them like most people seem to be. Hopefully this shows in the Miki route when I am am happy enough to release it, and I can finish it, but until then, at least leave some constructive feedback?
i don't mean to cause any offence, but judging people based on one thing they wrote is something I have had to deal with in reality, having been sent to therapy because my writing scared my family. It is humorous looking back on it, and I may write something about the experience one day, but I have had enough with being judged on something that doesn't convey my personality in any way.
Sorry for the rant, but I need to vent. I have been under stress recently

I don't think Shail meant anything by it. Seems to me like he has a weird sense of humour that doesn't convey too well.

Meaningless internet drama aside, have you ever considered poetry, man? This was pretty damn good, but think if you're going to write something so short to evoke emotion, poetry is definitely the way to go.

[Oscar Wildecat]

Let's get back to constructive feedback!

We shared lunch, the same way we always had. We talked about the careers work-cards we had been given in classes, and how she simply put down “Pirate”.

Should that be career work-cards?

Also, (just my personal opinion here), adding a few more line breaks between paragraphs would improve readability somewhat.

[Numb]

Meaningless internet drama aside, have you ever considered poetry, man? This was pretty damn good, but think if you're going to write something so short to evoke emotion, poetry is definitely the way to go.

I have actually, and I went through a phase where it was all I wrote. However, considering I am still in school, I have to at least try to maintain social normality, or else be considered a freak. Isolation is good, but isolation with pressure being placed on you by external taunting, even if you don't care for it, causes stress in some form. Hell, I am still in my teens, and I have had gray hair problems! So yes, poetry is something I enjoy, but creative writing such as this fits my style better. I like minimalistic writing, and I like deep detail, hence the odd mixture I have in, if not this one, the majority of my writing. I may actually try to find some of my poetry from when I was just starting writing four years ago, but the majority of my work is gone, never to be retrieved

Also, for the corrections spotted by you guys, I will correct them when I am at a computer, my phone isn't the best for editing on

[CaptainFalcon]

I rather enjoyed that, even if I am usually a sucker for happy endings
That aside though I like how you perfectly blended in the past/what happened in the actual VN to the main story you created, which was very well written in my opinion
If you put any more work up in the forums I shall definitely continue to read them ^_^

[LayZPanda]

It is very good, that is all I can say. I cannot say that it is amazing otherwise I'll feel bad considering the outcome of the story. But it really is good, spot on from the original game. This can be used for the bad endings of Emi and Rin. But all in all, I would want a good ending as well, where they don't / survive their Cancers and disorders. Really good work seriously.

[Lianam]

Hell, I am still in my teens, and I have had gray hair problems!

Wait, really? How much stress are you under?