Hanako's Broken Heart Club

[YZQ]

"Their", you mean.

Also, you do a search when you have a burning desire to know what you are searching for. I don't have that kind of desire, and if simmer wishes to remain silent, it's fine with me.

[Xanatos]

I still don't get why past posts get ignored all the time. You can get what ever info on a person's story on this thread.

It's a 232-page thread. Gee, I wonder...

[blah blah blah words]

Neat. So we can just look up past posts and never have need to post anymore.

[YZQ]

That was a classy comeback.

[GroundHOG2010]

Neat. So we can just look up past posts and never have need to post anymore.

Now I remember why I never talk to anyone. Bye.

[YZQ]

A thick skin is what you need.

Q: "Have you no sense of decency, sir? At long last, have you left no sense of decency?"

A: "Decency is overrated."

[Xanatos]

A thick skin is what you need.

Q: "Have you no sense of decency, sir? At long last, have you left no sense of decency?"

A: "Decency is overrated."

I think I said that once.

Now I remember why I never talk to anyone.

Because they might possibly have a sarcastic response to something you may say at some point in time? Yikes...You need to relax.

[YZQ]

Ol' McCarthy was too drunk to think up that comeback.

Indecent courtesy: Churchill at his finest.

[krere]

I don't know if people are still writing their stories, but after finishing Hanako's route last night, it's really made me want to reflect upon my own past... and my barriers associated with what had happened.

I want to say that I had a "normal" childhood. To be young, full of life, and without a care in the world - that's what childhood is all about. But even to this day, being a 21 year old male, I'm unsure if I can really call it that. For up until elementary school, everything could have been said as being perfect. Life as I knew it was a smooth, exciting adventure. There wasn't a single thing that I could have complained about.

That was, until, I had turned 7 years old. Something had changed. Something latent within my brain had been awoken. For some reason or another, I had started to pick at my skin. Once I saw a perceived flaw with my body, that would be the only thing I could think about.

It was the only thing I could focus on.

Obsessively.

I would pick. And I would pick. And pick. And pick. Pick. Pick. Pick...

It was dermatillomania.

To make matters worse, I would continue to self-harm until I would bleed. And yet I continued to do it. It lead to the point where I had to start wearing concealer just to hide my self-imposed wounds. Being a young boy in elementary school, still trying to make sense of the world, this proofed to be an excruciating implication. My classmates didn't (or couldn't) understand why I was this way, nor my parents... but perhaps worse of all, neither did I. It had lead me to become excessively withdrawn, to the point where I didn't dare to talk to anybody, save for certain teachers I felt I could bestow my trust in. Because of my condition, I was the perfect target for bullies. This lasted, perhaps not surprisingly, up to my graduation of high school. Sure I had gotten used to it over time, and make a few close friends (not that we're in touch anymore)... but that doesn't mean that it hasn't left its scars upon my soul.

...The same scars that Hanako must bear.

Before having played this VN, I thought I had a pretty clear vision of the world. I consider myself to be a bright (perhaps wise?) person in general. I didn't think there was much I could learn that I hadn't already learned previously in life.

To my own surprise... I was wrong. I never felt so connected, both physically and emotionally, to someone as I did with Hanako. I felt there was so much I can relate to with her. Of course it's probably silly to think this way about a fictional character... but the whole concept of her is nothing short than brilliance to me.

As of this point in time writing this post, I am still your average (...if not aloof ) guy trying to find his place in this world we call home. Even with my childhood being the way it was... I have become stronger. A better person. I refuse to let my past dictate my future. And if Hanako was an actual person, I would hope that she feels the same way.



My name is Brian. And I live with dermatillomania.

[Xanatos]

My name is Brian. And I live with dermatillomania.

Ooh...Almost a good story. But now I just want to punch you for being so sickeningly cliche-inspirational.

[krere]

My name is Brian. And I live with dermatillomania.

Ooh...Almost a good story. But now I just want to punch you for being so sickeningly cliche-inspirational.

I understand. I did try to proofread to avoid writing cliches, even if I may have inadvertently created one in itself.

But I really want to get my story across to those willing and interested enough to read it. I am but one of thousands of those who have to live with dermatillomania. This condition has caused me to self-harm at least 60% of my body. The scars I've inflicted are a symbol of my own mind's oppression. It's unfortunate that it still holds true today as it did back then.

The connection I could make to Hanako was instantaneous. Her route really made me reflect upon my own shortcomings. I've never had a lot of friends. I never saw a need for them. The amount of people (outside of family, course) that I could think of as being a "friend" are less than what I could count with one hand. Even then, I've lost contact with them because of my reclusive personality. Is it a lonely life? Sure, not much doubt there. But it's the only way I've learned growing up, and who knows... maybe it's the way it's supposed to be.

I'm probably rambling at this point. I feel that I could write paragraph upon paragraph of my own life narrative. If anything, being able to write about what I've had to kept in for at least 14 years is a comforting feeling, and I hope that other readers can feel the same way, to perhaps become inspired to share own their stories. Even if my story is one among hundreds of others... I still hope it can touch at least one person. That alone, in my mind, would be enough to make writing these posts worthwhile.



PS: I really wish I could get to sleep on a normal schedule. The more I delve into Hakawa Shoujo, the more I want to know. The more I want to experience. It's rather profound how a single game (or rather VN) can have such an influence with one's way of thinking. In two days of playing I feel like I've learned what could be taught... in months. It's truly an amazing sensation.

[Auratus]

Long story

First of all, Thanks for sharing your story and welcome to the forum, where are the chocolate, Xanatos?.Such a good time to do it (I actually sometimes wish I could make myself bleed, seems like I didn't try enough)

Okay, Second of all. One always learn something, and should strive to. or else he or she is stagnant. Yes, you might live long enough to know marginally what human is. But you didn't know like 7 millions of man and woman* (and in-between) It's might seems impossible to do so. But that's not the excuse to stop learning. Well, most thing in the world, in the universe are unknown to us. I think we all still can learn how to make our life better, How to understand living and people. So keep learning, keep improving.

I think you saw and will see the "awesomeness" of Katawa Shoujo that, most of people you know unfortunately didn't.

I just enter forbes.com while typing this and it somehow make me laugh.

“ The art of living is more like wrestling than dancing. ” — Marcus Aurelius Antoninus



and what is Hakawa Shoujo?

* Hence I hate those who said "All men are..." or "All girls are... ".

[KeiichiO]

*Stuff*

I don't have "it" nearly as bad as you do, but I also pick at my skin constantly. I have dry patches of... undesirable skin, and they must be destroyed...

I don't know. I try very hard to forget about it, but I'll get caught up in a good story, or something, and I'll be subconsciously picking at my skin. I'll play video games with my left hand, and pick with the right. (Sounds improbable, right? Well, I assure you that it's not)

I've been told to exfoliate while in the shower, but it doesn't seem to work too well for me. I'll continue to do it, just 'cause, but I'll probably be picking at my skin as well.

[krere]

Thank you for the welcoming Auratus. I agree that one would become stagnant without seeking knowledge; what would be the point in living otherwise? When I first started playing, surely I didn't expect the game to possess the depth that it has (which speaks for itself). But the way Katawa Shoujo made me come to evaluate my life and realize my own faults was surprising. Of course I've said my piece with Hanako, and now that I'm working on Rin's path, I'm starting to become more and more curious with her life story. I too am a person that can be resistant to change - perhaps because of my obtained sense of solitude. I'm curious to find out if Rin and I have more in common than I thought.

Believe it or not KeiichiO, the same problem happens to me with my hands too. If they're both unoccupied (or at least one is free), I use them to "scope" my skin to detect my perceived imperfections. A small blemish tucked away instantly becomes issue number one once I've found it. Whether it's subconscious, conscious, or both... it's all I can think about. The imperfection must be "destroyed" as you put it, and I'm sure you and myself both know that it usually makes things worse.

The sad thing is that I've seen myself get better. My scars didn't use to be all over my body... unlike they are now. It's really a cycle of self-destruction. And once it has started its course, it's nigh impossible to stop it. The only thing I can do is hope to myself that it won't be as bad as last time.

Even though my condition has had its obvious toll on me, I can't say that it hasn't helped me as a person either... but that's a whole nother post if the discussion still warrants it.

[Xanatos]

what would be the point in living otherwise?

That question basically has infinite answers.

[simmr001]

Thank you for the welcoming Auratus. I agree that one would become stagnant without seeking knowledge; what would be the point in living otherwise? When I first started playing, surely I didn't expect the game to possess the depth that it has (which speaks for itself). But the way Katawa Shoujo made me come to evaluate my life and realize my own faults was surprising. Of course I've said my piece with Hanako, and now that I'm working on Rin's path, I'm starting to become more and more curious with her life story. I too am a person that can be resistant to change - perhaps because of my obtained sense of solitude. I'm curious to find out if Rin and I have more in common than I thought.

Believe it or not KeiichiO, the same problem happens to me with my hands too. If they're both unoccupied (or at least one is free), I use them to "scope" my skin to detect my perceived imperfections. A small blemish tucked away instantly becomes issue number one once I've found it. Whether it's subconscious, conscious, or both... it's all I can think about. The imperfection must be "destroyed" as you put it, and I'm sure you and myself both know that it usually makes things worse.

The sad thing is that I've seen myself get better. My scars didn't use to be all over my body... unlike they are now. It's really a cycle of self-destruction. And once it has started its course, it's nigh impossible to stop it. The only thing I can do is hope to myself that it won't be as bad as last time.

Even though my condition has had its obvious toll on me, I can't say that it hasn't helped me as a person either... but that's a whole nother post if the discussion still warrants it.

First of all welcome to the forum, although I cannot hope to sympathize with such a condition, I can sympathise with the mind being your own worse enemy. (Aspergers, and I suspect temporal lobe epilepsy but I've never had a major attack)
Katawa shoujo did that to me too, i went into it knowing this games ancestry to /b/ and expected the worse, I had also seen the dark side of fandom and entering this place had me worried for the same reaction to the last forum. Boy was I wrong on both counts.

I think the phrase is. Don't judge a book by its cover (appropriate too) but I prefer. Judge me for who I am, not what I am.

I've contemplated that question many times, but if your asking rather than doing, you have more than you realise. Learned that the hard way.