Hanako's Broken Heart Club

[Libra]

http://www.theblackribbonblog.com/2012/ ... -idea.html


some what related.

[Neoteros]

It happened a while ago, but I have to tell you about it.

Apparently, a friend of mine (you already know who she is) translates the posts I make on Facebook from my native language to English just because she wants to read my conversations with my former high school classmates. She told me about it herself, but... back then, I didn't know if it was creepy or flattering. In the end, I chose "flattering", because she isn't a creepy person - not as creepy as me, at least. U_U

[rayman6095]

Welp i feel like i need to write this to get it off my chest
This sob story ( for me ) is hardly as bad as some of the others i've read as most is just mental but well... here goes

My life has been good up until now nice parents, big house, enough to eat. But well... all this still continues but now my mental state is a little less cheery than it was when i was younger i try to pin my behavior on a few things but well... it's hard to pin it down, it could be where i live, it could be games, it could just be the way i treat myself. " i am my worst bully" ( i know cheesy right )

i guess it could also be the few things in my life that i regret not small things but well... important things at least to me. I probably should start explaining from when i moved to where i live now, i was new in school just joined near the end of the year and was greeted by nice people ( i love my school even today and thinking back i made all my lasting friendships through those years... to bad i'll be heading off to college soon ) among them was a girl and we grew to be close friends throughout middle school and well i never took it farther than that to my disappointment we grew apart and that was that... me growing more secluded into my small group of friends while she became part of a bigger group. Though there are a few events that i feel i failed the most though like when i grew jealous of seeing her with a friend of hers from 1st grade so later that night i sent an email ( Around that time i was really shy around her not finding the right words and such ) that sorta jumped to conclusions and assumed that she had a boyfriend. That along with my incessant asking of who she liked i feel ruined it... I still see her around the halls of our school and everytime those moments come to a head and i feel bad and i just had to write this...

My other regret happened in middle school when i lost one of my other friends because of my own stupidity... He was big on betting so one day we make a bet about him going to school tomorrow dressed like batman and well... i didn't think he would do it so i never gave him the money he deserved considering that fact that he was sent to detention during the first part of the day. Along with that i told another girl who he had a crush on thus ruining his trust in me both times... ( thinking back i s'pose this is quite trivial but well... it was important to me )

Throughout this i kept demoralizing myself about my grades and i haven't thought about my future until recently and even then i still have doubts whether i can achieve my goals.. my whole thought process is filled with doubts. Because of my thinking and my gaming habits i'm sure i've missed opportunities throughout the school year. I'm constantly worried about my grades but i do nothing to make it better, I'm lazy and i wish i could do something to change that... though when i start with something i complete it like when i write i have a hard time getting started yet when i do get started i write up a storm whether it's good or not... I s'pose i just don't understand myself. Along with that i feel lonely constantly even hanging out with my friends does little to comfort me... after "playing" Katawa Shoujo i guess i realized that i'm just missing an important relationship... Though that part is my fault for having a fear that if i start a relationship that it'll just break up before college the fact that it happens so much in my high school only helps cement the fact...

Thank's for anyone who reads this ridiculous sob story i guess it just feels better to let it out... no matter how trivial.

Edit: I feel really stupid for posting this

[depressedGamer]

[simmr001]

So true.

[metalangel]

after "playing" Katawa Shoujo i guess i realized that i'm just missing an important relationship... Though that part is my fault for having a fear that if i start a relationship that it'll just break up before college the fact that it happens so much in my high school only helps cement the fact...

Three things:
1. (relating the quote above) No, you're not. YOU make your success. If you predicate your success in life based on your relationship status, you're doing yourself an injustice.
2. If you really are worried about not achieving your goals because of your grades in high school, do something about it now. I know too many people who messed around/gamed/slacked off in high school and it really does come back to bite you later in life. Do you want to be the only person in their mid 20s who is bright but lacking that piece of paper - because you slacked off - sitting in a sweaty classroom over the summer upgrading your grades to try and improve your job prospects, in a class full of immigrants and idiots?
3. None of this social life crap from grade school/middle school/high school will matter in or after college. You will not see 95% of those people again, just do the best you can academically and get out of there. It seems like there is no life apart from school, but the truth is that high school is the very narrow doorframe leading out into the big wide real world where all the petty BS you've experienced up until that point ceases to be of any importance.

[Auratus]

{texts}

Edit: I feel really stupid for posting this

Well. It's 3 months since I posted in this forum last times. Not sure if there are less new depressed KS-fan or less new KS-fans (I reluctant to post my own update. I feel like I need more attention... I mean, reader)

About your post, I think... lingering too much on the past aren't good for anyone. Everyone made mistake that's, for some reason, we like to look back and regret it. I think you can move on to what future can give to you. I don't think your "school year" consumed most of your life and your future depend entirely on your grade. You are just a boy who are yet to being damned to failure, unless you thought so. Just think what do you want to look like in near and distant future, stick to that image and start walking, running or propelling toward there.

and you learned many lessons, one of them is that you missed opportunities because you didn't start. So how to not miss future's opportunity anymore? Answer is simple....

START.

(and you will complete it)

[Lexäeus]

Art class. I needed to paint a sky. I'm not so good at visual art, but I always tried my best. The sky is blue, right? Of course it is. So I ask for blue paint. I am handed what I think is blue paint. I paint my sky. I turn it in. The teacher calls me over to her desk a bit later. She asked me why my sky was purple. Dumbfounded, I tell her that I asked for blue paint and it looked blue to me. She showed me my painting and said no, the sky was purple. Having no choice, I had to admit that I'm color blind. This was not the first time that something like this had happened, but this was the most obvious. The entire sky was purple. I don't know what purple is. It appears as blue to me. So, once again, I cursed all the kids in my class that think it's just so funny that I don't know the difference between blue and purple. This continues to this day, and I quit art class. I quit partly because of this, but mostly because I just couldn't draw. I can draw on the computer, kind of, and then the computer tells me what's blue and what's purple. As I said, I don't like to admit that I'm color blind, but to you guys on the Internet, I feel like you'll understand.

[Sea]

Art class. I needed to paint a sky. I'm not so good at visual art, but I always tried my best. The sky is blue, right? Of course it is. So I ask for blue paint. I am handed what I think is blue paint. I paint my sky. I turn it in. The teacher calls me over to her desk a bit later. She asked me why my sky was purple. Dumbfounded, I tell her that I asked for blue paint and it looked blue to me. She showed me my painting and said no, the sky was purple. Having no choice, I had to admit that I'm color blind. This was not the first time that something like this had happened, but this was the most obvious. The entire sky was purple. I don't know what purple is. It appears as blue to me. So, once again, I cursed all the kids in my class that think it's just so funny that I don't know the difference between blue and purple. This continues to this day, and I quit art class. I quit partly because of this, but mostly because I just couldn't draw. I can draw on the computer, kind of, and then the computer tells me what's blue and what's purple. As I said, I don't like to admit that I'm color blind, but to you guys on the Internet, I feel like you'll understand.

Color blindness has been brought up a lot as far as I've seen. It's something that makes you unique, or different and people seem to think themselves lesser because they have it. What does it matter? I can sit down with you and have some blueberries, we can both taste and feel the blue berries and though I see blue and you see purple, the experience is unchanged. Don't feel different because people don't see what you do. The whole story of KS is seeing life from a different viewpoint from a person who has to live with and adapt to a disability far worse than seeing blue as purple.

[Neoteros]

I'll probably be going to Rome for the second time in three years in December/January. Why? I was talking with a certain friend of mine on Facebook. We were talking about stuff, and I semi-jokingly told her I had a crush on her one year ago (I'm actually still crushing on her, kind of. I'm just insanely good at keeping my feelings in check). She then asked me when my university's winter holidays started, and if she could come here for a while.

Do you think it's a coincidence, or...? XD There's no way she could have feelings for me, but I almost had a heart attack. What a fucking troll... XD

[wazuzu]

Do you think it's a coincidence, or...? XD There's no way she could have feelings for me, but I almost had a heart attack. What a fucking troll... XD

That's great. Definitely go for it. You need twice as much guts, for getting there and having a talk to her, and for still having a good time there if something goes wrong.
I wish you good luck though, since first time I had enough guts to confess to person I had a crush on, resulted in her being my wife now.

[Erenussocrates]

Sup bros I haven't been here for a while. I want to tell you a story right now, because I will burst into tears if I don't.
Three years ago, there was that girl over facebook, I met with her and became friends. She was scarred as much as me to my surprise. We shared the deepest of our secrets and our scars. We had many things in common. I foolishly fallen in love for some stupid reason. I managed to have a relationship with her eventually, to both of our joy. I had her name scraped bloody on my arms with a knife. I really loved her too much. She loved me too. Then she started to make me feel jealous about other guys, we had many fights because of that, she never stop, she never understood.
Then I started giving no shits about her when my last grade in highschool started. Because she pushed me away with the way she was, and I had to study a lot for the univercity so I wouldn't afford to communicate with her 7/24 as much as before. I informed her of that. She ended it after a few months. I did not get into any relationships after her in two years time period, even though I thought about it, I really never done that because I once promised her that I would love only her in my lifetime and I thought that there could have still been some hope after highschool ended. After that 2 years, she messaged me telling that she missed me. We messaged, talked, played games, had fun and stuff for like a month. She was implying that she was still into me, or so I thought. Then yesterday, she suddenly texts me that she has fallen in love with a 14 year old boy canadian (she's like, 19). I wanted to restore our relationship, telling that she was better than that. Althought my eyes were only for her, she had eyes for many and she chosen a 14 year old from a foreign country eventually. And she looks like a fucking bison, she has obesity, and I am the good looking one. And once her cousin told me that she would beg me to restore with me 2 months after the break up. Even though she would, I did beg her to do the same and she didn't. She chosen him, over the things I did for her. The things I did for love... Whatever. I kept it shirt, I wouldn't be able to endure writing the full thing. There goes my foolish story. Please bear with my stupidity. Good thing that I dished it out tho.

[Lexäeus]

Art class. I needed to paint a sky. I'm not so good at visual art, but I always tried my best. The sky is blue, right? Of course it is. So I ask for blue paint. I am handed what I think is blue paint. I paint my sky. I turn it in. The teacher calls me over to her desk a bit later. She asked me why my sky was purple. Dumbfounded, I tell her that I asked for blue paint and it looked blue to me. She showed me my painting and said no, the sky was purple. Having no choice, I had to admit that I'm color blind. This was not the first time that something like this had happened, but this was the most obvious. The entire sky was purple. I don't know what purple is. It appears as blue to me. So, once again, I cursed all the kids in my class that think it's just so funny that I don't know the difference between blue and purple. This continues to this day, and I quit art class. I quit partly because of this, but mostly because I just couldn't draw. I can draw on the computer, kind of, and then the computer tells me what's blue and what's purple. As I said, I don't like to admit that I'm color blind, but to you guys on the Internet, I feel like you'll understand.

Color blindness has been brought up a lot as far as I've seen. It's something that makes you unique, or different and people seem to think themselves lesser because they have it. What does it matter? I can sit down with you and have some blueberries, we can both taste and feel the blue berries and though I see blue and you see purple, the experience is unchanged. Don't feel different because people don't see what you do. The whole story of KS is seeing life from a different viewpoint from a person who has to live with and adapt to a disability far worse than seeing blue as purple.

I was unclear xD it's the other way around, I can't see purple, it looks exactly like blue. But yes, I wouldn't even say being color blind is a disability, it's so insignificant compared to other, much more serious, disabilities. Also, blueberries are great. I actually just ate some blueberry pie. And yeah, you're right. I shouldn't feel different.

[Xanatos]

I had her name scraped bloody on my arms with a knife.

What you describe is less love and more disturbing.

[wazuzu]

That's just another way of expressing your feelings. It's still better than a tattoo.