Eh, what the hell. I'll go ahead and post pretty much my life story in a sense.
I am lucky to even exist due to the fact that my biological parents did drugs and other crap. I was born 2 months premature, weighing roughly 3 pounds. I had a twin that died and I myself nearly did as well due to lack of oxygen to the brain. I pulled through it though.
At the age of 2, I was taken from my biological parents due to a spiral fracture of one of my arms, maybe was right, but don't know for sure. I have these odd circular "splotch" marks on the top of my left hand near the first knuckle area, but you'd have to look close. Also have on high inner thigh, but seems to have faded to match rest of skin and that one was larger. From the age of 2-6, I was in a foster home. I got my hair pulled a lot during my stay there. I also have a memory fragment of being in a crob, finding one of those "S" curtain hooks and drilling a hole with a circle around it near the wall where the crib was against.
At the age of 6, I was adopted by my parents and have lived with them since. Though I did move out into my own apartment I want to say maybe July 2010/2011, can't remember.
My school life was pretty much a living hell through it all. Always being teased for being "Different" due to some mental stuff that I had that was "different". I remember many times, even through the first 2 years of high school coming home crying to my parents due to shit I had to deal with. One thing I always knew though was to NEVER do things that had been done to me do to how it felt bad. In a sense, breaking the cycle of aggression. I have a scar I got when I was doing ~300 pounds on the leg press. I had been put in the Special Ed PE class (Mainly so I didn't have to change in front of others and risk getting teased or possibly worse.)
I had been helping this one kid, I think his name was Alex or something. He was considered legally blind. The day had been raining, so the equipment was wet. This was over 10 years ago I think (28 years old now). Anywho, the equipment was really old stuff. My feet slipped off, the weight crashed down and sliced a good sliver of skin off my shin down to the bone. As in pure white.
I slowly made my way outside to a thigh high brick wall. Someone asked if I was okay. I told them to get Alex so he didn't think I ditched him and then after asked if someone could get an "Ice Patch" aka frozen damp sponge in sealable plastic bag.
My mom thought I should have gotten stitches for it, but as you know there is barely any skin to grab unto. Now just feels rubbery as like no sensation.
Also, I had neck surgery at the end of October 2011. They had to widen something to do with my spine or vertebrae or something because my spinal cord was being piched to where if I say, jumped, when I landed hard. it felt like ellectricity running through my arms to my finger tips, only without the lightning similar to the Emperor of Star wars. Let's just say after that, you get to enjoy the feeling as though you shoved both hands into buckets of thumbtacks and had to leave then there for about 2 hours. >_<
I had the surgery, had been waiting when KS came out. I had to do very little for 3 months. KS came out, played it in one sitting, with 2 sleepless nights. ^_^;
After having had the surgery other things I may have had before came back with a vengeance. Think really bad headaches but like, near the base of the skull, right side and then imagine a spike being shoved into your skull and the tip presses against your eye. Now, imagine someone taking a hammer and lightly tapping it over & over. Those are the days where the pain is the worst.
I had been doing great, but it seems like within the last 2-3 weeks, they have come back strong. I am lucky to work at a place for people with various disabilities (mental and physical) so they are understanding about when I have flareups and need to stay home.
I do admit, sometimes when the pain is high, my mind drifts back to a bunch of ideas that all run through my head such as if I were in this anime/universe/etc, what would happen if I was in it with these specifications and whatnot. I've had ideas of like wondering if after one dies, can we set up a new life to live to challenge ourselves more then in the last life.
I myself would never thing of suicide, I am one that likes to think in terms of alternate realities and ideas to different scenarios I've seen/heard/read/etc about in various mediums of art.
I am a hugely open-minded guy, non judgmental and my friends say I have the patience of a Saint as they have never seen someone not get upset or whatnot at the level I do. My thing is, pretty much. these things happen. It is what it is. Stressing will only make things worse, so try not to stress about it. I take things as they come.
I have even acted as a form of counselor/therapist to my mom and friends. My mom was all like "This shouldn't be happening. You should be the one with issues and me giving the advice, except I have the issue and you are giving me advise. She says it is as if my mental age/soul/etc is far older then my physical form. My friends have said that as well. I also always tell myself that no matter what pain or whatnot, that this is not the worst thing that can happen. This pain or whatever. The fact is that I am alive and if I am alive, then I can fight against that which is trying to keep me down. It may not work, but you have to keep trying. I think there are people where if they had stuff I had done, they might not have the mental/etc fortitude and would try suicide to make stuff go away.
I may not know my purpose in life, but maybe some part of it is to help others and be there for people if they need advise, or even a place to get away from BS in their home lives. I do my best to make my apartment be a type of Sanctuary where my friends can hang out and relax. You won't believe all the video games I have as well as figure collection.
I am a pretty laid back person, most bad stuff just rolls over me like a wave. Also, I am pretty much an open book in the sense of if you ask me questions more then likely, I'll answer it.
If you want to know the gaming systems I have, or if you have questions or comments, feel free to PM me.
Hope this post wasn't too long for everyone. ^_^; It is almost 11:15pm here, so time to try that which i hear people refer to as "sleep". Take care and everyone remember, as long as you are alive, you have the power to fight against whatever is keeping you down or causing you issues. You just have to believe in yourself.
EDIT: Also forgot to mention that I am sensitive to bright lights where I can get bad headaches if I don't wear my prescritption shades. Eye sight could be better. Also have been diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome. I try not to let labels define me. Also, it seems my skin in general seems to have the sensitivity of touch and pain lowered. I could slap my arm till it is red and barely feel anything. Now take that and have it pretty much everywhere and sometimes the lack of sensation factor is increased where like, image your face itches but no matter how much you try to itch it it is like a forcefield in place so you feel nothing.
EDIT2: Link to my original "intro" post. Has some tidbits I may have forgotten about.
http://ks.renai.us/viewtopic.php?f=13&t ... all#p66311
and my post I made in the "Rin's Path discussion" thread:
http://ks.renai.us/viewtopic.php?f=13&t ... 165#p69007
If you feel like reading go ahead, though I could see why you may not due to the "wall of text". XD
EDIT3": If anyone wants to see the scar from the neck surgery, you can see it here (INSERT WARNING ABOUT A PIC OF A SCAR THAT SOME MAY FIND ODD OR GROSS OR WHATEVER HERE) :
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/8837128/
Here is a pic of me in the neckbrace I had to wear a LONG time while occupying my parents room for a month.
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/6768301/
