The man in the mirror. (KS/Marvel fic 3 Finished)
The man in the mirror. (KS/Marvel fic 3 Finished)
Alright. Until I can figure out how to get this formatted so that it doesn't screw the board up, you can read this story at the following link. http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9088316/1/T ... the-Mirror
Last edited by Chrono180 on Sun Mar 10, 2013 11:34 pm, edited 7 times in total.
Re: The man in the mirror. (KS/Marvel fic 3)
Nice to see this continue. Definitely interested in what's up with Lilly.
I found out about Katawa Shoujo through the forums of Misfile. There, I am the editor of Misfiled Dreams.
Completed: 100%, including bonus picture. Shizune>Emi>Lilly>Hanako>Rin
Griffon8's Writing
Completed: 100%, including bonus picture. Shizune>Emi>Lilly>Hanako>Rin
Griffon8's Writing
- Parliament
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Re: The man in the mirror. (KS/Marvel fic 3)
Was a bit skeptical on how Marvel/KS would fit together but I'm liking this a lot =)
A bit more exposition would be nice, like how Shizune doesn't hear the knock but is able to converse with Hisao, whether it's sign language or a change to Shizune because of the superhero aspect of the story, etc. That's a bit nitpicky though since it could easily have been on purpose for reasons to be shown in the future, or just because I haven't yet read the first 2 fics in this series.
Anyway, looking forward to chapter 2!
A bit more exposition would be nice, like how Shizune doesn't hear the knock but is able to converse with Hisao, whether it's sign language or a change to Shizune because of the superhero aspect of the story, etc. That's a bit nitpicky though since it could easily have been on purpose for reasons to be shown in the future, or just because I haven't yet read the first 2 fics in this series.
Anyway, looking forward to chapter 2!
Last edited by Parliament on Mon Feb 18, 2013 5:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.
I wish I had some kind of succinct piece of wisdom to put here. Oh well, bathrobes are comfy =)
- Mirage_GSM
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Re: The man in the mirror. (KS/Marvel fic 3)
You might put down a link to the first two parts of the story in your top post, or it will be very confusing for new readers...
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune
My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
Sore wa himitsu desu.griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
- Mirage_GSM
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Re: The man in the mirror. (KS/Marvel fic 3 Finished)
I admit when you said you'd posted a draft and I saw just how much of a draft you'd posted, I was scared. It wasN't really that bad, though. A few Their/they're mixups and similar stuff, missing apostrophes, a few missing words - otherwise it was mostly okay.
Oh, and M16 isn't a galaxy, it's a nebula within our own galaxy.
Anyway, congrats on finishing this.
Not Uranus and Neptune?Shizune and Misha are obviously Mars and Moon
Might as well go all the way, huh?Dr. Who, Star Trek...
Oh, and M16 isn't a galaxy, it's a nebula within our own galaxy.
Made me laugh.FHTAGN!
Is female Hisao from still another earth?Hisao woke up and slammed her alarm clock,
cordiallyYOU ARE COURDILY INVITED
Anyway, congrats on finishing this.
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune
My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
Sore wa himitsu desu.griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Re: The man in the mirror. (KS/Marvel fic 3 Finished)
Of course not. Neither Uranus or Naptune is as big an airhead as Misha is. Moon however....Not Uranus and Neptune?
You'll also note Azathoth and Nyarlopthep are named in the ritual. Both of whom are essentially Cthulhu's "superiors' in the lovecraft mythos.FHTAGN!
Made me laugh.
Thanks. That means a lot.Anyway, congrats on finishing this.
- Mirage_GSM
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Re: The man in the mirror. (KS/Marvel fic 3 Finished)
Uranus and Neptune are the lesbians, though...Chrono180 wrote:Of course not. Neither Uranus or Neptune is as big an airhead as Misha is. Moon however....Not Uranus and Neptune?
Yes, I did note that.You'll also note Azathoth and Nyarlopthep are named in the ritual. Both of whom are essentially Cthulhu's "superiors' in the lovecraft mythos.
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune
My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
Sore wa himitsu desu.griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Re: The man in the mirror. (KS/Marvel fic 3 Finished)
I see you got tired of waiting for me to read it over and offer advice before you posted. Sorry about taking so long there.
Not Dead Yet
Re: The man in the mirror. (KS/Marvel fic 3 Finished)
Yeah, I'm sorry.... I want to thank you a great deal for all the help you gave me though. I think you helped me improve my writing ability in a dramatic sense.Oddball wrote:I see you got tired of waiting for me to read it over and offer advice before you posted. Sorry about taking so long there.
Re: The man in the mirror. (KS/Marvel fic 3 Finished)
Surely I can't be the only person who ships the two. And remember Moon had a major swoon when she first met Uranus, and dated a girl when Tuxedo went missing.Mirage_GSM wrote:Uranus and Neptune are the lesbians, though...Chrono180 wrote:Of course not. Neither Uranus or Neptune is as big an airhead as Misha is. Moon however....Not Uranus and Neptune?
)
Re: The man in the mirror. (KS/Marvel fic 3 Finished)
Oh. I... had been waiting for this. Not sure how I missed it. Ah well, I guess that's what happens when life gets busy. At least now I can read the whole thing at once.
Lilly > Emi > Hanako > Shizune > Rin
100% get!
100% get!
Re: The man in the mirror. (KS/Marvel fic 3 Finished)
Heh. Just thought I'd share my experience so far. I'm at the part where they choose Lilly's codename, and found myself grinning stupidly when they went through the same process we did to decide. I like it, and it's kinda neat to see my suggestion going in there.
Okay, back to reading, now.
Okay, back to reading, now.
Lilly > Emi > Hanako > Shizune > Rin
100% get!
100% get!
Re: The man in the mirror. (KS/Marvel fic 3 Finished)
As much as I don't like triple posting, I think I'll give my thoughts on this, now that I'm done reading.
There were a lot of places where there were missing or incorrect words, or spelling and grammar errors. However, with one or two exceptions, I could always figure out what it was supposed to say, so it didn't detract too much. Using Bullseye as the final obstacle was pretty anticlimactic, especially when it felt like the story could have already ended with the previous chapter. There were a few places where you assumed the reader knew what you were talking about, and that caused a few issues. For example, saying that Lilly's outfit was similar to Hanako's didn't mean much to me, since I haven't read your last fic in months. Also, I didn't have the slightest clue who "L" from Death Note was.
I know I really piled on the negatives, but everything I didn't mention was a positive. I really enjoyed it, and I think it was a great ending to your series.
There were a lot of places where there were missing or incorrect words, or spelling and grammar errors. However, with one or two exceptions, I could always figure out what it was supposed to say, so it didn't detract too much. Using Bullseye as the final obstacle was pretty anticlimactic, especially when it felt like the story could have already ended with the previous chapter. There were a few places where you assumed the reader knew what you were talking about, and that caused a few issues. For example, saying that Lilly's outfit was similar to Hanako's didn't mean much to me, since I haven't read your last fic in months. Also, I didn't have the slightest clue who "L" from Death Note was.
I know I really piled on the negatives, but everything I didn't mention was a positive. I really enjoyed it, and I think it was a great ending to your series.
Lilly > Emi > Hanako > Shizune > Rin
100% get!
100% get!
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Re: The man in the mirror. (KS/Marvel fic 3 Finished)
Bummer, the story is gone from Fan Fiction.net and I just read through both of the first parts. The first and second stories were very enjoyable. I have a fair bit of marvel knowledge but not X-men. I wish I could finish your series, as it truely was a delight to read.
Re: The man in the mirror. (KS/Marvel fic 3 Finished)
Try not at all.