When Hisao was Rin

[Oddball]

A trail of red merges with blue, crosses over yellow, and circles around green as I watch. With each stroke of the brush, the painting on the canvas seems more alive, as does the person painting it. With the unpleasantness of the art exhibit behind us, as well as our "unofficial" resignations from the art club, Rin has been livelier than I had ever seen her.

… Well, perhaps "lively" is the wrong word. She still acts like her body produces elephant tranquilizer rather than adrenalin, but at least there appears to be more joy in her sluggish movements.

Watching her paint fascinates me. She just distances herself from everything but the little world slowly appearing on the canvas. In truth, I'm a bit envious. She has a focus and concentration I could never posses. At the same time, she makes it seem like this is the most natural thing in the world.

"What are you thinking about?" Rin asks without diverting her attention from the canvas. It's not like her to talk while painting, unless she needs help preparing colors. Come to think of it, it's not like her do anything but paint while painting actually.

"Nothing really. I'm just watching you," I tell her.

"I've heard that was boring," she turns to look at me expectantly. When I don't respond in the way she was apparently hoping, she continues. "Watching paint dry. I've hear it's boring." There's a flash of a smirk on her face but it disappears so quickly that I'm not even certain it existed at all.

"I don't think that's what they're talking about," I chuckle. Usually I have a hard time telling when she's joking, but lately she's either done her best to make it more obvious, or maybe I just understand her better now. "I was just thinking how free you look when you paint. I can only wish there was something that made me feel that way."

"Maybe you should try it," she says. She turns back to her painting. The brush gripped between her toes dances across the canvas yet again. With a few simple brush strokes, she's turned what was just a random mix of colors into a landscape.

"I did, remember? I'm pretty bad at art." I'm not even going to bring up the whole art club experience.

She tilts her head slightly in a way that doesn't quite look like a shrug or an agreement. "I have to wait now."

"Why are we waiting?" I ask. I've gotten fairly used to questioning Rin's vague statements, not that I always get answers, but sometimes it helps.

"For the paint to dry. The paint has to dry so more paint can be put on top of that paint. It's like baking a cake. You can't put all the ingredients in at once."

"I'm pretty sure you're supposed to put all the ingredients in at once," I tell her.

She looks at me curiously. "Really?" She seems to mull this over for a bit. "Does that include the icing and the candles?"

"Okay, not the icing and candles." I say. She smiles wildly, obviously pleased with herself. I'll give her that victory.

"Good. I'm not sure how you'd keep the candles lit while baking it anyway. While we wait, you can try this." Rin turns away from the painting and opens the closet door with her feet, revealing several blank canvases. Either she's already forgotten our conversation from a just a few seconds ago or she's purposely trying to ignore me. Either is possible with her. "Can you get that? I can, but it's easier with hands, so you should get that."

I pull out the canvas and set it up with slight bits of protest. Soon I'm half-heartedly applying paint to it while Rin watches. I'm not even sure what I'm painting yet. It's either a bad stick figure or the start of a tree.

"I told you, I just can't get into this like you do," I say.

"What are you trying to paint?" She asks. I really don't know yet, but that doesn't feel like a good answer. Rin did an entire mural without having any real idea what it was supposed to be other than "a mural".

"Isn't talking about unfinished art supposed to be bad luck?" I ask back in an attempt to turn the conversation back around. Pride prevents me from saying I have no idea what I'm doing.

"I think so. Maybe. But we aren't talking about it right now. We're teaching about it. I think that's different," she answers.

Okay, so now she's teaching me. I'm curious as to where this is going now. "I'm not sure what I'm painting. I'm just painting to paint, I guess. I don't really have any picture in my head."

"That's not good," she says, leaning forward as if to really study my crude picture. "What are you feeling?"

"I'm feeling silly. This is kind of pointless," I tell her. While I'm speaking, I accidentally mix the shade of purple I was using with some green. I'll never get that exact shade back again.

"Then paint that. Paint silly and pointless," she says. I pause, not sure exactly how somebody is supposed to do that. She makes it sound so easy. "I think there's more yellow in it," she adds after a few more brush strokes.

"Is yellow a silly color?" I ask.

"I don't know. Is it?"

"I think purple is sillier, maybe pink."

"Then use more of those," she says was a flatness in her voice.

I mix a bit of red and white together in an attempt to get a nice pink. It takes me a few tries of mixing paint to get something that's not too light and not too dark. Part of me wonders why I'm even trying since I don't have a concrete idea what I'm supposed to do with it. Still, I do try, and eventually I stumble upon a shade I like and start applying it to the canvas in swirls. I still feel ridiculous but now that seems fitting. Maybe I'm supposed to feel absurd. Granted, it's not the peaceful bliss that Rin seems to experience, but at least it's something.

"Now what color is the color of pointless?" Rin asks. Right. I said silly and pointless didn't I? I guess if I'm going to be silly, I need to be pointless to go along with it. There's a certain logic to that, I suppose.

"Probably gray," I answer. If there was ever a pointless color, it's gray… or maybe it's just the most boring one. … or maybe I'm over thinking this.

I add a few gray lines to the painting before I decide it's going to be a sidewalk. Why a sidewalk? I don't know. It just seems like the most boring and pointless gray thing I could think to paint.

"Feel better yet?" Rin asks.

"I feel … silly that I'm putting in effort trying to be pointless, if that means anything," I tell her. I pause at the painting debating with myself whether adding an elephant would be more pointless or just trying too hard to be silly.

Rin has a rather serious look on her face. As she speaks, she turns to look out the window, rather than at me. "That means something. I'm not sure what, but something. Most things mean a thing if you can figure out what that is. The problem is that it's not always easy to figure out, and sometimes it means something other than what it is." That's either really profound or complete gibberish. I haven't quite decided which yet.

I add a few more lines and color an area in before Rin turns to study my painting again. The way she tilts her head and the curious expression on her face tells me my elephant isn't coming out as good as I hoped.

"I still don't see how this really helps," I say. "I was just saying I can't get into anything like you do. I mean, I feel somewhat silly, so I guess we accomplished something. It's just not exactly what I was thinking about earlier. I just can't paint like you do."

"That's it," the sudden and enthusiastic way she says this makes me think she'd clap if she could. "Paint like me," Rin continues, extremely pleased with her new idea. "Foot or mouth?"

"Excuse me?"

"Hold you paintbrush in your foot or your mouth. That's how I paint. You wanted to paint like me, right?" I study her expression for a moment to determine if she's just messing with me again.

Her face is usually blank and unreadable, but she seems to be rather excited by this idea. I hate to let her down, but it's still a rather nonsensical idea. I don't exactly have the same fine motor control over my legs that she has.

"I can't paint like that," I say flatly.

"Have you tried?"

"No, but I already know I'm not quite as flexible as you."

"Try it," she commands. I make no movement to do so. In fact, in order to illustrate how ridiculous a request that was, I don't even move at all. After a few seconds, she repeats herself with no change in her expression or tone of voice. I have the feeling that if I don't agree to it, she's just going to repeat herself again, like a recording set on loop or one of those videogame characters that's only programmed with a single line of dialogue.

I take off my shoes and socks and then pull a chair over near the canvas. Then I put the brush in-between my toes and try my best to paint something. As expected, I have almost no control. I have a tough enough time even trying to keep my grip on the brush. I've always been amazed at how she can do things like this, but I never realized exactly how difficult it truly was. My brushstrokes come across looking like a three year old's attempt at art. I feel like an idiot. Of course, I can always cheat… I raise my arms up and grab hold of my leg to support and better control it.

"That's not how I paint," Rin says.

"You have years of experience over me, I had to make up the difference somehow," I tell her. She nods as if to agree. … I'm assuming that's why she's nodding anyway. It's hard to tell with her.

Regardless, using my arms to help control my legs really doesn't improve my accuracy any, but after making a big deal of it, I don't want to back out now. Rin probably wouldn't care, but it would be too much like admitting defeat for my tastes.

"You want to put the weight of the brush against the pointer toe and use the big toe for control. It's more flexible. Actually, I don't know if you want to do that, but it's easier that way. Maybe you like more difficult. Some people do. I have no idea why," Rin tells me after watching my pitiful attempts for a few more minutes.

Despite what she says, I see no real difference between the flexibility or control of my toes. I suck equally with them all. Even the idea that you can have more control over some toes than others seems a foreign concept to me. Most likely, it's would be like trying to explain the difference between the ring finger and the pinkie finger to her. It's not anything she could ever experience first hand, but on an intellectual level, she could surely understand how such a thing might function.

Or maybe she wouldn't.

This is Rin after all.

And maybe that's the problem. I'm trying to do something in the manner of Rin, but I'm half-assing it. I'm not thinking like Rin.

"I wonder if the clouds would like this painting." I say softly to myself with a chuckle.

"Why did you say that?" She asks. Oh, crap. She heard me. I guess I might as well fess up.

"I was just trying to be more like you," I shrug.

"Is that a good idea?" she asks. "I wouldn't be like me if I knew how to be anything other than being like me, but I tried being like another me and that didn't work out well either." I cringe slightly. The last thing I wanted to do was remind her of her forced attempts to change herself.

"Just being you is perfectly fine." I say with a reassuring smile. As I do so, I accidentally mix my red paint with my blue creating a color I really didn't need. "After all, I'm doing it." She makes no reply to that and I continue my painting. The more I do, the less it looks like it was ever intended to be some kind of picture and the more it looks like some random smear of colors. I don't really care that much anymore though; I've chosen to adopt a different mentality now. I'm not trying to make a picture. I'm just trying to do whatever feels the most "Rin". To do so, I've begun to ask myself questions as I paint. I'm doing stupid and pointless, so what feels the most stupid and pointless to do? Which brushstroke is the most stupid and pointless? If creepy ducks in the mirror saw my painting, what would they think I felt? … and really, the stranger my questions get the more this feels fun, sort of like a game.

"If you're being me, what does that leave me to do?" Rin asks. It takes me a minute to remember we were talking about, but when I do, I know exactly how to handle it.

I just smile, quickly remove my vest, and slip it on over her before she even has time to react.

…

Well, actually, she probably wouldn't do anything even if she did have time to react.

"You should do whatever you feel like, Hisao." I stress my name as I speak to her. "It's important to do the things you like every once in a while." I hope I said that right. I remember her saying something like that before. Anyway, I'm sure the meaning got across. No sense me being the only one having fun.

Rin rubs her cheeks against the fabric of the sweater vest. 'This feels itchy."

"Really? I never noticed," I reply. "I've always found them fairly comfortable."

"This is being Hisao?" she says looking down. "Wearing an itchy not-shirt."

"You're not really getting into character," I say. "I was kinda hoping this could be fun."

She looks at me oddly for a moment before slumping over and making the most unhappy faces I can imagine. "Science," she says unenthusiastically. ... I think I'm being insulted.

"So, what color is the color of when a bird dreams about not being a bird?" I ask while trying my hardest to look like I'm completely oblivious to my surrounding.

"I don't talk like that," Rin states.

"Come on, play along," I say. Rin rolls her eyes at my response. I don't care though. I'm having fun now. Besides, I need to do something to take a break from the painting. My legs are starting to hurt.

"I don't know. I am artless. There is nothing in my head that strikes me as being about art. I should go read a book about … those things that look like grapes that are whatever thing is supposed to be made of… and rocket ships." She gives me a devious look, as if to say 'two can play that game.'

"Sorry. I wasn't paying attention. I'm too busy thinking of other things. One of those things was 'not paying attention' the other was Genghis Khan," I utter.

"Why do you not think more? You should be able to do things you can't do normally, like be a different person," she says in her best 'Hisao'-voice. That one … that one actually kind of hurt.

I take the brush out from between my toes and set it to the side. Then I lay down on her floor. "Hey, there's a ceiling up here. Isn't it strange how ceiling are almost floors if you're above them?"

"Yes. Fascinating. I will read a book now," Rin says. Lacking anything that resembles one of my usual novels, she pulls a textbook off her desk, sets it down, and lies down in front of it. She mainly uses her lips and nose to turn the pages of the book. I've never actually watched her read before. There's a silence for a few minutes, as if we're each waiting for the other t make the first move. Normally, this would be up to me, but as we're switching roles right now, I'm hesitant to be the one to speak first. "Yup. Book," she finally says. Good. Watching her ceiling is really boring. Now that she's said something, I'm free to take my turn.

"What do you think of my painting? I don't call it anything because that would be a name," I say standing back up and gesturing towards my unfinished picture with my head.

"What's that supposed to be?" she asks. "I don't know from art." There's a look of interest in her eyes, but she's still trying to maintain her larger-than-life depressed expression, although the traces of a smile can be seen in it.

"It's a finished unfinished work," I tell her with a few exaggerated head nods.

"What does that mean?" Rin asks. The tone of her voice seems rather expectant. Coming from her, it almost sounds comical.

"I thought that if I finished it, it would be a different painting than it is now and I like it this way. I temporarily drop my 'Rin voice' for a moment. "Also my legs were starting to hurt." That gets a small chuckle out of her. "and it kind of sucks."

"Yes. It does. Because I can't understand it when I think," Rin says. "I need you to understand how things are when you think of them and what you mean."

"You just don't understand. I can't talk words!" I hang my head low and add, "You're just going to have to pretend I'm crying here. I can't do that on cue."

"I'd storm out now, but this is my room," Rin says. "My-me. Not you-me."

"Okay. Let's hold up here. This is getting kind of dark," I say.

"You're not easy to be. You … what's that word when something makes you feel the opposite of how it feels and how it feels at the same time?" Rin asks me. "You look sad a lot but you make me feel happy and sad all at the same time."

"I'm not sure there is a word for that," I tell her. I pick up some of the art supplies from the floor. There are a few spots where I got paint on her carpet. I'd feel worse about that if there weren't already so many paint stains on her floor. "Maybe you should make one."

Rin smirks at me. "Maybe you should make one. I'm going to read science," And just like that, she's started the game again.

"Before we get back to what we were doing, I just want to say that I'm not that good at being you either, I guess. I don't mean to offend you, I just have a hard time understanding you sometimes, but I want to." Rin looks over at me and smiles. There's a pause between us and neither seems to know what to say.

Rin's mouth opens slightly as if she's about to speak, but doesn't. After leaving it hanging open for a brief moment, she closes it again without saying a word.

And if Rin isn't going to speak, I will. "Let me hear your heartbeat." I'm not sure why I said this, maybe there was no other reason than it was a very Rin thing to say, a request she's made of me several times.

She blushes a bit, something she almost never does, before simply mumbling "okay."
A loud banging on the door interrupts whatever was going to happen next. Before either of us can even make a move to acknowledge it, the door is thrown open and Emi announces herself. "Hey Rin. I was just running to the store. Did you want me to pick you up anything?" She stops dead in her tracks when she sees me. "Oh. Hey! Didn't know you had company, sorry 'bout that!"

Rin looks at me for a moment. Smile slowly grows across her face. It takes me a moment, but I'm sure I'm thinking the same thing.

"I don't think I need anything, but I'm good at forgetting things. Bring me what you think I forgot," I tell her in my best 'sleepy' voice.

"You can go get your own damn stuff," Emi snaps with a mocking smile. "I was asking Rin."

Rin, the real Rin looks at me for a moment, then just lowers her head and shakes it in dismay. "I'm not sure you'll get a good answer," she tells Emi who hasn't quite caught on just yet, giving me all the more reason to lay it on thick.

"Isn't the sky being up there worth looking at?" I say to her with a dazed looking expression on my face.

"Oh. I get it," Emi's voice beams. "That's cute! You're being Hisao," she says to Rin, "and you're Rin."

"Indeed. That would be what I am known as," Rin says in a voice that sounds more like Mr. Spock than it does me.

"I'm not quite sure you're being boring enough though and you look too much like you know what you're doing," Emi leans in and whispers just loud enough to make it obvious that I was supposed to hear that. Rin just smiles, a Rin smile, not a Rin-trying-to-be-Hisao-smile. No way I can let that go.

"It's like peanut butter and squid. They're both perfectly fine, but when you combine them, you get something not fine. It's kind of messy and nasty," in order to complete the act, I shake my head back and forth, letting my hair flop around. I'll fix it back later.

"I don't actually like squid," Rin mutters to nobody in particular and in her own voice. "It's rubbery looking."

"So, Hisao why did you ditch me at track anyway?" Emi teasingly directs at Rin.

"I really don't like doing things," Rin makes a show of turning away so she's not actually looking directly at anyone. "I may change my mind, but I've gotten pretty good at lazy." I really wish I could think of something to say here, but I'm drawing a blank. Nothing Rin-like comes to mind.

"Ha! Thought so!" Emi laughs.

"I get lost easily," Rin adds. She's having trouble keeping her sad-Hisao face straight and unless I do something, I'm only setting myself up for more humor at my expense.

"I think you're supposed to have a lunch to give me," I say. It's a stretch, but it's something.

"Ah, whatever. You two have fun, alright?" Emi says, obviously ready to move away from the conversation. "But keep in mind, I'm going to be awfully upset if I show up tomorrow to help Rin get dressed and 'Rin' has a penis," Emi said, making little quotation marks in the air as she says Rin the second time. .

"Upset?" Rin said looking at her curiously, "or really happy?"

"Assholes. I mean, YOU better be Rin," Emi says putting her finger on the actual real Rin's forehead.

"Okay. I usually am. I'm probably not going to have a penis either," Rin says as if it's the most normal thing in the world to say. I have nothing to add to that. I'm laughing too hard to speak. Emi just slams the door. The clicking sounds of her legs getting more and more faint.

"Speaking of penis, where were we?" Rin says. That's one of the things I love about that girl. You can never tell exactly what strange phrases are going to come out of her mouth next.

"I think we were about to make out," I say with a smile.

"Okay," Rin says. "but you should probably be Hisao for the next part. Otherwise, things are just going to be weird."

[Mirage_GSM]

This made me smile - several times.

You slipped into past tense a few times towards the end, though.

[nemz]

Well, that was interesting. Possibly more than one wake-up call in there along the way if they were paying attention.

And yes, Emi probably would enjoy a Rin with penis at least once, just for the novelty of it. And now you just know she's going to have that image gnawing at her subconscious. And so will everyone who reads this fic.

[Carighan]

So Rin will get a strap-on from Emi for her birthday?

[BlackWaltzTheThird]

Damn, your Rin is pretty convincing, dude. And I gotta say Hisao's Rin was pretty spot on too. I can't help but agree with Mirage; I also smiled a lot. I was sorta reading this and playing vidya at the same time at first, but the sarcastic jibes and circular logic pulled me away from the latter pretty quick. Nice job. It was a cute little story and I enjoyed it very much.

And so will everyone who reads this fic.

Shit.

[griffon8]

You know what's missing from this forum? A really good Rin continuation from her good end. Strange that there are a couple good ones from her neutral end, but none from the good.

This was good. I had to laugh at many points.

something hat's not to light and not to dark.

that's; too; too

bird dreams abut not being a bird

about

[nemz]

That's not true... there have been a few good end continuations (not recently), typically involving meeting one or the other set of parents.

Still that's not surprising. The neutral end is the one that feels most honest, harsh as that may be.

[Oddball]

Damn, your Rin is pretty convincing, dude. And I gotta say Hisao's Rin was pretty spot on too.

Thanks. I was a bit worried that next to Hisao's over the top Rin, the actual Rin would come across as too normal.

I also went back and fixed a few errors. Probably not all of them though.

[griffon8]

That's not true... there have been a few good end continuations (not recently), typically involving meeting one or the other set of parents.

Still that's not surprising. The neutral end is the one that feels most honest, harsh as that may be.

I think I remember that one now. They went to Hisao's parents house.

No idea how to find it. If you know where it is and can link to others, that would be great.

[nemz]

Here's the ones I know of... Quality and length varies:
Butterflies(aka Rinicisms)
Lover's Gasp, Lover's Grasp
Sweaty Summer Slumber
Entanglement: A Day With Rin

well, and the pastebin of course. lots of stuff there.

[emmjay]

So, would this fic be Oddball at his Oddballest?
Anyway... I'll say this for ya, Oddball, you know how to come up with a title that catches one's attention. (I was half expecting a body-swapping story or something. Which wouldn't even be the weirdest thing on this forum.) I love how they both seem to be trying to genuinely get into character while simultaneously poking fun at each other. Although frankly, saying "Science" with an unenthusiastic face could work for a Mutou impression, too.
Other high points:
- Hisao trying to figure out the color of pointless. (I'd go for a dull brown, myself.)
- Rin's opinion of the sweater vest.
- Rin's impression shooting past Hisao and ending up at Mr. Spock.
- The whole discussion re: penises. Particularly "Speaking of penis, where were we?" Quintessential Rin, that line.

[Jobriq]

There needs to be a sequel where Rin has a penis

[Oddball]

There needs to be a sequel where Rin has a penis

There really doesn't.

[griffon8]

So, would this fic be Oddball at his Oddballest?

No, Oddball at his Oddballsiest.

[Umber]

Being a former Rin-Kin, waking up to this at 7:00 AM...

...I have smiled the biggest smile I've ever smiled in a while. I'm surprisingly pleased by this story. And not in the bad way, if there is one.