Katawa Royale (Battle Royale x KS hybrid)

[RaidenDP]

Alright, I thought I'd finally post this here. This fic gathered some attention on Facebook, and a lot of people appear to enjoy it, so I decided to post it here as well. The premise is simple - Hisao and 14 of his friends (all of the main characters from the VN, a few secondaries and 1 OC) find themselves abducted, armed, put on an island and forced to kill each other until only 1 remains. It's better than it sounds, I assure you (though how much better is up to you). Each chapter delves into the mind of one of the students and explores their thoughts, feelings, acts and decisions when confronted with the "kill or be killed" nature of their current situation. Naturally, it's a dark fic (but don't mistake "dark" for "angsty"), so be warned. With that said, I'd really like to hear your feedback. Here it is.

[JTC545]

The first chapter was written well enough, but I don't think I can handle another fic with KS characters dying in horrible ways.

[Kyvos]

I have to say that it's pretty good! Very interested to see who comes out on top; as long as it's not your OC. You're clearly making him a major player, but I get the impression that you know better than to have him kill everyone.
I do have one piece of criticism, though. You should probably cut out the Hunger Games/Battle Royale bit you've got in there. I've heard that Battle Royale is better, and it's totally cool for you to have that opinion, but putting it in like that felt like you were making some sort of PSA in the middle of your story, and it really detracted from the experience from me. I'd personally recommend cutting out the mention of The Hunger Games entirely, and I'd also recommend posting the story here, as well as over on that site. While I'm not one of them, I know that there are a lot of people who will completely ignore someone's writing if it's not actually posted here. That, and it'd make it a lot easier to follow upadates.
Keep up the good work, though. Any idea how many chapters it'll have and when you'll be finished?

[RaidenDP]

I can see your point about the BR/HG references, but I think you missed mine. Raiden is... not well. He's batshit crazy, balls to the wall insane. I mean, he has just kidnapped 15 high school students and is about to send them off to kill each other, and what does he talk about? Books. I just wanted to portray him as an over the top crazy maniac, and referencing the books seemed like a good way to do it.
There will be 8 chapters in total, each with a different narrator. I first upload them on a Facebook page called "Half-Bacon Bitches", and a week later I post them up on FF.net. Honestly, I don't think I'm gonna post them here. I put a lot of effort into these chapters, a lot more than most fanfic writers do. I think the sheer size of the project makes that obvious. So, in my mind, if you can't make the effort to click a single link, then there's no way you'll have the determination to make it through the end of the actual story. Following updates is as simple as clicking the "Follow Story" button on FF.net. Alternatively (if you don't have an account there and don't feel like making one), you can just check the story every Saturday, and the new chapter will be there for sure (I update it every Friday evening). It's as simple as that.
And, I usually answer to all questions about who will live and who'll die with "No comment", but... You know that I'd be a terrible storyteller if I let my own OC win, right?

[Kyvos]

Oh, okay. I did get the impression that Raiden's a bit messed up, but I didn't really catch on to the fact that he'd sound absolutely nuts while saying it.
As for the FF.net thing, I don't have any problem with it; I just know that some people do. Also, while I don't have an account there, so I can't follow it that way, I'll probably check back here regularly and follow the link.
With regards to your OC, I got the impression from your writing that you'd know better than to have him win. However, I know that a lot of people get pretty attached to their OC's, so I thought I'd give you a warning just in case. It seems it wasn't needed, which is good to hear!
Looking at everyone who's left, I've come up with quite a few predictions as to who's going to die, what order they'll die, and how they'll die. It's nothing I'm going to post, since that'll spoil it if I'm right, but I realized while I was deducing these things that you must be doing a pretty good job, if you've actually got me thinking about it. Good work!

[Kyvos]

So, uh... Are you gonna be uploading the rest to FF? It's pretty difficult to find it all on Facebook...

[RaidenDP]

Yeah, I'll upload them. There are two reasons why I haven't so far - 1, there was a hiatus on Facebook, so I skipped a week or two on FF just to catch up to the schedule I have set (first on Facebook, and 1 week later on FF). 2, because the last two chapters are enormous (8k and 6k words respectively), and I usually edit them a lot before uploading them on FF. Just hold on for a few days, I will upload the chapters as soon as I can! And thank you for still being interested in the story!

[Kyvos]

Alright, good to know! I'm getting a little anxious because while I said that I made predictions about who might win, I had pretty specific predictions about Lilly, Hanako, Saki, Akio, and Kenji. Kenji... didn't quite go how I expected. The fact that the other four are still around means I can't be too far off, though. I gotta see how it ends!

[RaidenDP]

Since it's very unlikely I'll be able to edit chapters 6 and 7 any time soon, and chapter 8 (the finale) comes out today, I decided to go ahead and upload the beta versions of those chapters on FF.net, for those of you who wouldn't mind reading an unpolished version.