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[Doomish]

Forget it.

[Kyvos]

I challenge you to write a story about the Aura Mart greeter or Ice cream guy.
Or if it has to be someone from Yamaku, write about Shiraki or the guy from Lilly's stall who told her to take a break.

[Oddball]

I actually have seen a story about the Aura Mart employees.

[OtakuNinja]

I challenge you to write a story about the Parasol-Girl (From Shizune's route)

[Doomish]

Forget it.

[Oddball]

Hmm... seems to be an interesting character so far.

[Helbereth]

Dost mine eyes deceive me? Doomish writing something that has a very grimdark potential, and yet he's choosing to side with optimism? Is this still Earth? Are we in another reality? Can I get a dark matter sandwich here? Do stupid people exist?

The possibilities are endless!

[Oddball]

Doth mine eys deceive me? Doomish writing something that has a very grimdark potential, and yet he's choosing to side with optimism? Is this still Earth? Are we in another reality? Can I get a dark matter sandwich here? Do stupid people exist?

The possibilities are endless!

o bad we can't see the guy face to face. We could check and see if he suddenly has (or doesn't have) a goatee.

[Doomish]

It's too bad I can't grow facial hair.

[Silentcook]

"Challenging" people to write anything is a thinly-disguised request. Don't do that.

[Kyvos]

"Challenging" people to write anything is a thinly-disguised request. Don't do that.

Sorry about that. I just thought I'd bring up a few characters who are even less significant than this one.

[OtakuNinja]

"Challenging" people to write anything is a thinly-disguised request. Don't do that.

Sorry about that. I just thought I'd bring up a few characters who are even less significant than this one.

That was my purpose too.

[Doomish]

Forget it.

[ProfAllister]

Ah, the route of the "not-quite-an-OC-but-totally-is." That being said, there's absolutely nothing wrong with OCs. Just kinda amused about the prevalence of "totally not an OC you guise" in the KS fan fiction world. All in good fun, after all.

To poke fun at another storytelling trope, I'll note you're (apparently) making use of the ever deadly "vague cancer." 'course, you did mention "fresh brain," which implies brain cancer. Or zombies.

Anyway, fun lead-in, seems to be a solid story-build-up, and could go far. Keep on keeping on.

[Doomish]

Oh, I'm not pretending for even a second that Girl isn't an OC, don't worry about that. It's kind of hard not to admit she is one when she only has three lines and two sprites contained within a CG in the whole game.

I also have been doted on for going with the "cliche cancer" trope already, and I have to say, the chapter where she gets offered a contract and gets cured in exchange for becoming a magical girl is going to be totally fun to write. that part is not really going to happen, though