A Wannabe Route in The Literature Club.

[AxxingerLuddekudden]

Yo. This here is going to be my firt work, so i appreciate constructive critisism, but don't appreciate destructive.

It's going to be about Hisao in the same time and setting as the VN, but he decides to follow his habits of reading and join the schools literature club,
where he'll probably fall in love with Suzu Suzuki (im not 100% on that yet, though) and have some fun with Akio and the other guys. I'm going to make it in a kind of VN-ish style (there'll be choices, but they'll already be made for you. Except perhaps for multiple endings, if i have the energy to make some.), and i hope you'll enjoy it.
Oh, and right about now in my life i don't have super much free time, but i'll write some whenever i can.

Act 1: Life Expectancy

Swift Escape
-"Swift Escape"
The best way to stay out of trouble

[Catgirl Kleptocracy]

Welcome to the forum! I'm always glad to see new writers, and it's awesome that this is going to be your first work. I'm excited to see it.

As a first tip, I'm all for hearing you tell us about your story, but we'd much rather see it. Let your story speak for itself instead of just telling us about it. If you're going to post a story, you should have the first section posted when the topic is created.

Good luck writing, and have fun!

[AxxingerLuddekudden]

(Note: the fourth choice is a reference to this.)

Swift Escape

-----

The air between them ripples with the heat of their enmity. Well, not really. They can't disguise it anymore, though.
Even Misha looks like she's beginning to understand the real nature of this conversation.

Shizune looks at me and then starts signing in my face. "Hicchan~!" Misha yells at me. "Don't you slack off either~!"

"What are you talking about?"

"Aren't you taking part in the festival, Hicchan?" She stops for a bit as to wait for an answer, though it fealt really rhetorical. "You are, aren't you? Then~!" She points at me dramatically. "I hope you're going to do a lot more to make sure it goes smoothly than this person~!" She waves her hand in the direction of Lilly to clarify that she wasn't talking about Shizune.

I don't understand why Shizune is suddenly getting mad at me.

-----

Don't drag me into this! I've done my part!
Hey, come on. Cut me and Lilly some slack...
>I don't care
Both of you, just leave me alone

-----

I don't feel like fighting right now...

"I don't care, do whatever you want." I say, and exit the classroom.

After I close the door they all stay silent, but then start to fight again after a few seconds.
Well, I still have twenty minutes until class starts, but I don't want to spend them in the battlefield disguised as my classroom, and I don't want to go back to my dorms since I'll only be terrorized by Kenji. Is the library open this early? Only one way to find out, I guess...

When I'm done walking the stairs down to the second floor, I can see a lone person walking in the hall. Short red hair, sloppy posture; right hand in his pocket and the other one holding a cane. Oh, it's that guy from my class. What was his name again? Haya... was it Hayashi? yeah, I think so. Before I get a chance to greet him, he already calls out to me.

"Ah! Nakai, could you come here for a moment?" He waves his hand at me lazily. I nod and walk up to him. "Akio Hayashi, we're in the same class." He presents his right hand to me and I shake it firmly, which makes him grimace a bit, like if he was in pain. Whoops. I'm still not used to this place, it seems. "Well, It might seem wierd since this is our first time really talking to each other, but I've been meaning to speak with you," he says and puts his cane againts the wall and rubs his his hurting hand.

"Sure, what is it?" I ask, and put my hand back in my pocket.

"Well, when you introduced yourself you mentioned that you like books and reading, right?" He scratches his neck in an awkward manner. "So I, or rather Lezard, was wondering if you want to join the literature club." Lezard... I think thats the guy in my class with glasses.

"But I think Shizune told me that the book club is already full, though."

"Yeah, it is. The book club is. I'm asking about the literature club."

What?

"Isn't that the same club?" I ask. This whole thing is confusing me.

"No, not really. The literature club was created much later and by members of the book club that didn't like the huge swarm of students it brought along. It eventually grows tiring when you're too many in the same room." Seems a bit antisocial to me, though. But I understand where they're coming from.

"Then, how many are there in the literature club? Just you and Lezard?" I really feel like I need more info before I decide to join.

"No, we're about eight in total." He thinks for a while. "Theres me, Lezard, Lelouch and Suzu from our class, Then theres a guy from class 3-2, one from 3-1 and a couple of juniors"

"Eight? Isn't that still quite a few?" I though he told me that they didn't like crowds.

"Well, eigh is alright. Besides, the 'reading/writing blub' just sounds weird," He answers. how many book clubs were they planning on making?

"I'll give it a thought, then," I say and turn on my heel. I'm still not quite sure if I want to join a club this fast.

"You could come check it out today after school, if you want to." He says just as I turn to walk away.

It's not like I have anything better to do, anyway. "I might as well, then," I reply. I won't know what it's like before I go there, I guess.

"Why are you here, anyway?" He suddenly asks me as i'm walking back towards the stairs. Oh right, I was gonna go check the library.

"I was just going to see if the library is open at this time" I look at him over my shoulder, my hands still in my pockets.

"Sadly, it isn't" Then...

"Why are you here, then, Hayashi?"

"Just taking a morning stroll, since i arrived here early." He says as he picks up his cane and starts walking, as if he just remembered the reason why he's here. "Also, you don't need to call me something so formal like Hayashi, just Akio is enough. We're classmates, after all."

"Then you can call me Hisao, and do you mind if i join you for a walk? i have some time to kill, myself." I start to walk beside him without awaiting his answer.

"Sure, go ahead." He says and closes his eyes, which gives him a peaceful expression.

We walk around the inside of the school for a bit and he tells me about different places and rooms, so it almost feels sort of like a tour. I guess thats good, though. I never really got a good tour of the place since I got here. Sure, Mishazune would probably want to give me one, but I sort of feel like that would just be misha running around the school and screaming out names at random. The tempo would probably kill me. Literally. That said, Akio seems to be walking a bit slower that I usually do, so I have to adjust a bit to his pace. I guess it has something to do with him using a cane.

Before I know it, fifteen minutes have already passed and we head back to class. When we arrive, Misha and Shizune are sitting in their seats, idly waiting for classes to start. Shizune looks at me in a somewhat angry way, and then looks out the window. Probably since I didn't support her in the showdown with Lilly. Whatever.

[AxxingerLuddekudden]

If you're going to post a story, you should have the first section posted when the topic is created.

Ok, I just wasn't sure if I should do that or just keep the first post a crapter list-type thing, but I'll keep that in mind for the future.

[Trivun]

Hmmm, not bad. I'll admit I have read better works, but it's a pretty decent start and I did enjoy it . I noticed a fair few typos though, just the occasional letter missed out or whatnot, so you should probably go through it with a spellchecker and edit those bits. The occasional bit of sloppy prose also threatened to bring me out of it. On the whole though, it definitely shows promise. I'll be adding this to my Favourites folder and I'll certainly read the next parts, I look forward to seeing how this develops . Also, welcome to the community, I hope you enjoy your time here with us

[AxxingerLuddekudden]

Thanks
I also tried to do some spellchecking and just generally improve it. Hope its better now :0

[Mirage_GSM]

I agree that you're off to a good start. In fact you had me interested the moment you announced you would make use of some characters that aren't used so much in other stories.
If you want to use Suzu as the romantic interest try not to be inspired too much by the other Suzu stories around here. For example, Suzu and Miki being best buddys is in no way canon, so you could go ahead and pair her with someone else.

[Oddball]

For example, Suzu and Miki being best buddys is in no way canon, so you could go ahead and pair her with someone else.

I think it's a bit over used myself, but then again, my take on Suzu is a bit different than most other people's seems to be anyway.

Also, Japanese honorifics aren't in the original game (other than Misha's nicknames) so I'd avoid using them in your story. In fact, I'd avoid using them period. They rarely ever translate well and only come across as the writer screaming about how much he wants to be Japanese.

[AxxingerLuddekudden]

For example, Suzu and Miki being best buddys is in no way canon, so you could go ahead and pair her with someone else.

I wasn't planning on doing so, but i can kind of understand the ones who do. Since Suzu has narcolepsy she experiences constant sleepines, but Miki is full of energy, so they sort of counter each other well. But, yeah, I'm not gonna do that.