Scissorlips (not really, but still...) wrote: Hey, I thought I'd feed your Suzu addiction, by releasing some extras to the Suzu route, and updating the route with 4-1
Urrrrrrgh
Ok, so I've finally caught up, after my reading/renai hiatus brought on by nothing but solid laziness.
Loving the lack of Suzu perspective in the extras, but low blow with Miki's line:
"
Maybe I could get used to this. Being at Yamaku. Being around these two.".
...Serious man, that one hurt.
Also, I must say, turning Taro from some barely revealed character into someone whose cuteness is simply irresistible
in 4,000 words is simply amazing.
What I'd do if I had your literacy powerlevel.
Moving onto Act 4-1.
Being September, I can't help but think of that one
Green Day song about bears in hibernation or some shit,
(Admittedly, I didn't pay much attention to the lyrics besides the chorus) but beyond my extensive knowledge of bad music, I found the update quite enjoyably dramatic, and despite comments such as:
Silly people wrote: Why does she need energy drinks if she's an insomniac
Which suggested that you may of been a bit too subtle with
her, once again, pathway down the road of self-destruction. Personally, I believe you conveyed her situation well without making her seem like a cardboard cut-out with a script,
a la any recent Keanu Reeves movie.
As far as the plot goes, which is a topic also touched on in other comments, 4-1 is where I expected you to re-establish those early conflicts we forgot about as we lost ourself during the big reveals of late act 3, instead, you delivered a lot of:
"Hisao is worried, Suzu can't sleep, the future is daunting, blah blah blah".
Which is all well and good, it adds more humanity to the characters, etc...
But you've already laid that stuff down hard, being it was the
BIG plot device of Act 3.
Anyway, my 3 am ramble is over, I pray I made sense...
