Hanako's Broken Heart Club

[Helbereth]

man, this tulpa shit isnt doing me any good.

scary memories comming back because of it. ive been to a mental hospital and i will tell you. wen you stay there a night. i was with my sister (who has mental problems) and i will tell you it REALY is scarry. well it wasnt realy a hospital more like a park with houses but there was a dude screaming for satan al night long. thats all i have to say dont want to think about it

Mental institutions are one of the things Hollywood actually gets right. If anything, the dramatizations are often more tame than the real thing. Having spent some time visiting my brother while he was being kept for observation (for months at a time), I can attest to it being spooky and creepy.

Drooling, disheveled people lumbering around like zombies, someone screaming at nothing, another woman sitting and shivering -shaking in panic- in a corner, and the humorless doctors and orderlies chasing them around; trying to keep some semblance of order. Surreal and horrifying, I felt uncomfortable and witless for the extent of every visit - especially upon seeing my brother in a similarly incapacitated state.

_~_

Anyway, anyone know a good cure for intermittent sleep? I'm used to insomnia by now, but lately I'll go lay down and sleep for like 2 hours, then wake up and be alert for three or four... then back to sleep for another short while. Couldn't even identify what's been causing it, but it's beginning to get annoying after two weeks.

[gragon]

Anyway, anyone know a good cure for intermittent sleep? I'm used to insomnia by now, but lately I'll go lay down and sleep for like 2 hours, then wake up and be alert for three or four... then back to sleep for another short while. Couldn't even identify what's been causing it, but it's beginning to get annoying after two weeks.

i would say meditate. and eat some stuff that makes you sleepy (bananas and milk stuff) cant help with anything else sorry man

[ShinigamiKenji]

man, this tulpa shit isnt doing me any good.

scary memories comming back because of it. ive been to a mental hospital and i will tell you. wen you stay there a night. i was with my sister (who has mental problems) and i will tell you it REALY is scarry. well it wasnt realy a hospital more like a park with houses but there was a dude screaming for satan al night long. thats all i have to say dont want to think about it

Mental institutions are one of the things Hollywood actually gets right. If anything, the dramatizations are often more tame than the real thing. Having spent some time visiting my brother while he was being kept for observation (for months at a time), I can attest to it being spooky and creepy.

Drooling, disheveled people lumbering around like zombies, someone screaming at nothing, another woman sitting and shivering -shaking in panic- in a corner, and the humorless doctors and orderlies chasing them around; trying to keep some semblance of order. Surreal and horrifying, I felt uncomfortable and witless for the extent of every visit - especially upon seeing my brother in a similarly incapacitated state.

_~_

Anyway, anyone know a good cure for intermittent sleep? I'm used to insomnia by now, but lately I'll go lay down and sleep for like 2 hours, then wake up and be alert for three or four... then back to sleep for another short while. Couldn't even identify what's been causing it, but it's beginning to get annoying after two weeks.

Maybe it's some stress over something you haven't been aware of. Or excessive tea/coffee/chocolate. I'd suggest doing some exercise if you don't, but early evening at most, and avoid any stimulant food, like caffeine, during the evening. And, if you can't sleep after, say, 40 minutes, get off the bed (literally, it's not good to associate bed with any kind of work) and do something, like reading a book, for some time. It's good to keep a fixed time for sleeping, too. I tried these and I've been sleeping better.

And dude, I thought mental institutions were not so creepy. I'm wondering if the patients don't get worse with all this...

Edit: Now, I'm beginning to worry about Myshina... It's been a while since we last heard of her, with that Mr. Game&Watch and all stalking s***.

[Pseudogenesis]

@Total Destruction: Zero Euro invested. The domain was free (http://www.co.cc allows you to register up to 2 .co.cc domains for free) and the hosting is free due to being buddies with the host (just have to pay for the domains and that is only one old domain that I pay for). Though if I'm using an excessive amount of bandwidth/space I'll likely have to pay for it, that is why I said 'within reason'. phpBB 3 and the mods are also free.

@Pseudogenesis: IRC channel isn't a lot of work, someone needs to register the channel (depends on the server you register it at), configure it and assign moderators. I've registered #hanakosbrokenheartclub on freenode a while ago lol so feel free to join it. The issue with IRC to me is that you have to be online all the time to see what everyone said so it isn't suitable for HBHC-discussion, just for off-topic.

@ShinigamiKenji, as we expected unfortunately.

Now that it has been made definite, you guys still want to keep the offtopic/HBHC stuff here or want to use hbhc.co.cc? I don't mind either way (though I'd obviously prefer hbhc.co.cc so off-topic can be separated a bit from the real discussions).

Nonono, this thread should still be the center for HBHC! We have an entire board for Katawa Shoujo threads, but we can't go off-topic here. Ideally, the other site should be a place to hang out with the community, without having to worry about being off-topic or derailing. It's your site though, so you get the final say.

[Xanatos]

I miss Myshchan.

And yeah, the other place should just be for off-topic stuff. HBHC should stay here.

[Camoufrage]

Edit: Now, I'm beginning to worry about Myshina... It's been a while since we last heard of her, with that Mr. Game&Watch and all stalking s***.

She's fine. Plus it's Condom-in-Jacket you twat!

[Xiious]

Hey guys, little update.

I just got back from staying at the hospital all day and all last night. I woke up screaming bloody murder last night, in extreme pain from my side. So, even though nothing could be done to lessen the pain, I stayed at the hospital. Doctors told me I must've pulled something on the wrong side while I was sleeping. The pain has subsided for now, so everything is all right now, I suppose.

I'm extremely tired, thanks to the pain seizures and stuff. It's not nice, I feel pretty horrible. But other than that, I'm feeling all right emotionally. After all, I can't even imagine the pain Melody went through in her final hours...

[Nyzer]

The human body can be fickle. I've thrown out my back just from sitting down one morning. I've caused an inflammation injury of some kind to my left arm by using it to catch a fall. A light fall. And by "fall" I mean "oh, I tripped on a box and now I'm in a half-crouch sort of position since I stopped my fall with a) my hand, catching the rail, b) my legs c) the box itself."

The "injury" happened in January, and I can't tell if it's me being paranoid about it but I could swear that some of the effects were still there late last month. I've apparently gone the whole day today without feeling the urge to remove my watch from my left ("injured") arm, which I haven't done in a while, though, so...?

[Walrusfella]

I'm extremely tired, thanks to the pain seizures and stuff. It's not nice, I feel pretty horrible. But other than that, I'm feeling all right emotionally. After all, I can't even imagine the pain Melody went through in her final hours...

I'm glad you're feeling better now, and not just physically. You mentioned it might be your ribs? You don't have to compare your present pain to her suffering (unless that helps); it doesn't have to be as bad as hers to be legitimately bad. Rest well.

I like your new avatar, by the way.

Beoran, once again you just can't stop the wisdom. I'm going to modify my approach. I'll start by re-certifying a qualification I haven't actively needed for while and then I'll consider what else to change. Also going back over my résumé with a more critical eye. Thanks again.

Exbando, it's good to hear from you again. Let us know how you are doing when you catch up (or before)!

[ShinigamiKenji]

@Xiious, well, at least you're in a hospital, so it'll eventually be alright. And don't use this kind of memory to feel nice, feel nice because you're feeling nice!! Okay, that didn't make sense for me either... Anyway, rest well.

@Nyzer, you used to feel some pain while doing any normal activity, or just this urge to remove your watch? I'm no doctor, but if it hurts, it's often because something is wrong. But if it's just the urge, maybe it's just psychological.

[gragon]

im at my dad right now. im proberly going to stay here for 2-5 days. dependeing on the mood im in and if he gets drunk again.

my steph mom and dad already had i fight just wen i enterd. 2 kids crying a great start think im going to the atic and set up my computer there. (the atic is my room/guest room)

[Nyzer]

@Nyzer, you used to feel some pain while doing any normal activity, or just this urge to remove your watch? I'm no doctor, but if it hurts, it's often because something is wrong. But if it's just the urge, maybe it's just psychological.

Pain. The injury, whatever it was, was causing some inflammation near my shoulder/armpit, which would cause that wrist to be more susceptible to pain as well.
I eventually went to physiotherapy and got an anti-inflammatory salve. It meant that my arm hurting wasn't just an "okay, I scratched the back of my other hand and now the injured arm is sore again" but "oh, my work shift is over and I was wearing my watch left-handed, so now my wrist is a bit sore" or "work is over and my arm hurts slightly". My work involves a fair deal of heavy lifting as it is. It never helped that when I sleep, I'm used to resting my head on that left arm. So even if I don't consciously do it, I'll end up on it before daylight.

It seems to have finished healing at some point. I mean, the physiotherapy and medicine took a lot of the pain away. It wasn't hurting quite as badly, and nowhere near as often, and I was continuing to use the medicine. Question is when it finished healing, and when/if it just started being more psychological than physical.

Or, hell, maybe I just got more used to sleeping on the right arm.

[Hadokant]

Ok there is something to get out of my chest. I need to say something here to at least calm myself from some stress. My-ex girlfriend has passed away from cancer and i didn't even know she had cancer until 2 months ago. I asked her why she hid this from me and she told me she didn't want me to be sad. I just couldn't believe this and I had a breakdown. She calmed me down but I still couldn't believe it. That she had a disease and her time was short. I promised her that I would give her the best month of her life. I gave her the best nights of her life. I wanted her last moments to be happy and full of memories. and they were happy. But now, i really don't know. I feel like I should've seen her having cancer if i knew her well enough. I feel like i failed, not only her but anyone who i would date later on. A few months ago she would've committed suicide but i saved her from doing that. But she only lived for 6 months. It feels like either way her death couldn't have been prevented. I really don't know what to do right now. I'm trying to keep a strong front but every time I see a place we used to go to, I can't help but cry a little.

This song plays in my head every time i try to walk around my street to try to calm down but i just can't

[Nyzer]

I feel like I should've seen her having cancer if i knew her well enough.

Unless you were living with her, it's unlikely you would have detected something wrong. And even if you were, all that you could have possibly known is that something was wrong. And it could have been hidden even then, too.
A large part of me wants to make a somewhat less polite reply to that, actually, because detecting cancer without lab tests isn't particularly easy... but I don't think that's really helpful right now.
But there really isn't any way for you to have known. At best, you might have been able to notice that something might be wrong, but you wouldn't have had any way to make it to that conclusion.

I'm trying to keep a strong front but every time I see a place we used to go to, I can't help but cry a little.

I don't see the point in trying to keep a strong front, unless it's to avoid getting a reaction from someone whose company you're in. You certainly have enough justification to cry, so, do, when you need to.

I gave her the best nights of her life. I wanted her last moments to be happy and full of memories. and they were happy.

I suspect you did more than anyone else could, then. More than many others could have done for somebody in that position. I can guarantee you that I wouldn't be able to do anything of the sort.

Death is unavoidable. Hers came early, but some people draw that card in life. The best you could have done was to make her final days as happy as possible, and you did. Now it's time to shoulder the burden you took from her; you can't do something like that for someone and simply walk away. Unless you're a sociopath with a gift for acting. Eventually, you'll get used to the weight of the memories, and you'll be able to lift your head again. For now, ride it out as best as you can until your heart can heal.

[Oddball]

Hadokant, you did what you could. That's all anybody can ask of you.

She didn't tell you about her cancer because she didn't want you to be sad for her. I don't think she wants you to be sad for her now either. You made her happy at the end. Now you have to be happy for her.

I know it hurts now. In a way, it's always going to hurt and you have every right to be sad, but don't let it control you. Try to remember the good times you two had together.