Facing my Pains

WORDS WORDS WORDS


User avatar
demonix
Posts: 355
Joined: Mon Feb 20, 2012 7:20 pm

Re: Facing my Pains

Post by demonix »

And the next chapter (I'm feeling rather stupid now after I said that I'll be posting a new chapter every day, and not doing so for a while).

I had intended for the nearly first time to happen at this point in the story, and I've most likely made another complete mess of some parts since I didn't want to copy off the game except for getting most of the information correct.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

New Student

Another day starts with the sounds of my alarm clock as the noise also woke the person who was sleeping next to me.
The events of the previous day are fresh in my mind, but most of all was what happened after we returned.
It felt like what was going to happen was inevitable as we looked at each other in this room, but we only got as far as getting onto the bed and removing our clothes before Suzu fell asleep.
Like the last time Suzu fell asleep in here unexpectedly, this ended up becoming somewhat of an awkward situation when she woke up, so we ended up just sleeping together.
Once I'd compiled all those thoughts and placed them to the back of my mind, I reached over the body of my still waking up girlfriend to turn off the alarm clock.
After I'd switched off the alarm clock, I looked down on my half awake girlfriend.
She hadn't fully noticed that I was looking at her, so I made sure that she knew by kissing her.
There was a bit of shock or surprise at first, but once Suzu had fully woken up and knew what was happening it faded away as we shared the moment for a short time before our lips parted company.

“Good morning”, I said “did you sleep well?”
“As well as can be expected”, Suzu said “especially after what happened”.
“I fully accepted that might happen”, I said “besides we have plenty of time to complete that dance without your condition ruining the moment”.
Suzu smiled when I said that.
“That's what makes you so special to me”, Suzu said “most other guys wouldn't act like that”.
“Most other guys might just take advantage of you what you're asleep”, I said “I wouldn't even do that if you fell asleep on top of me”.
“You're one in a billion”, Suzu said with the biggest smile on her face “I'm so happy that we met, and fell in love with each other”.
“That is one thing I wouldn't change”, I said “we should get ready since there is still some stuff left to for our booth”.
That was correct since we still had a few things left to do with the signs before everything was finished.
Hanako had, once again, attended the sign making session on Saturday out of the blue, most likely to make sure her ideas were put onto paper or board correctly.
Even though Hanako was extremely tense that whole time, she managed to get everyone on the correct page and everything came out exactly the same way as it did in her original plans.
We finished getting dressed and sneaked out of the dormitory, only to be met by Miki once we'd gotten clear.

“Did you two have fun yesterday”, Miki asked once we got close to her.
“As much as we could have”, I said.
“Did you finally do it”, Miki asked with her usual grin plastered over her face.
I immediately countered with my reactor boring glare which wiped the grin from Miki's face.
“We decided that we should wait before going that far”, I said trying to cover up my obvious lie.
“Just don't wait too long”, Miki said “otherwise you might end up with no lead in your pencil”.
I shot Miki another reactor boring glare before we continued on walking towards the school building.
Once we entered the building, the first thing I noticed was Mutou standing in the lobby area as we headed towards the stairs.

“It looks like we'll be getting another new student”, I said.
“How'd you figure that one out”, Miki asked.
“Because our homeroom teacher is doing a bad impersonation of a statue in the lobby”, I said “it was the same as when I arrived here, except for the students walking around down there”.
“It could be anything”, Miki said “he could be making sure that everyone turns up on time”.
“I'm still going with the new student idea”, I said “it makes more sense at this school since we know one student here that doesn't always turn up to classes”.
Miki didn't say anything more as we reached the door to our classroom, and once I'd opened the door and looked at all the desks I knew that I was correct.
“We are getting a new student”, I said with what I think was a massive grin on my face.
“You win”, Miki said “even though my idea was completely made up”.
A third desk has appeared near the window next to Misha's seat, and to make a straight line to the back of the classroom Suzu's desk had been moved a bit closer to Miki's desk.
Knowing that we might be waiting a bit for Mutou to turn up, we took our seats and sorted everything out in anticipation for what was going to happen.
We were waiting for well over half an hour before Mutou finally arrived with a new student walking in behind him.
Once I'd gotten a good look at the new student, I breathed a sigh of relief as it wasn't who I thought it would be.

Mutou had already apologised for being late the moment he walked through the door, and the new guy just walked in and stood where he'd stopped walking.
As Mutou went through the exact same spiel he'd said when I started here (originality much), I took a second and more better look at the new guy.
There was nothing I could see that could tell me why he was here, but then he could be like me with some form of scar from an operation that is covered by his clothing.
When Mutou got to the part where I started introducing myself the new guy didn't utter a word, so Mutou continued on with the introduction himself.
I had to wonder why he didn't do his own introduction, it could be nothing but his expression seemed to rather distant although it could be me over judging things.
Once the introduction had concluded, Mutou said that we'd be doing group work and told Hisao (if that was his name since Mutou is really bad when it comes to remembering the names of those in this class) that he would be working with Shizune.
Hisao looks rather confused since he doesn't know who he's looking for, but Mutou finally notices as he's handing out the assignment and points him towards Shizune while Misha gets his attention after he was directed in that direction.
Hisao walked over to the vacant seat next to Misha's and speaks to her mistakenly thinking she was Shizune, but a wailing laugh and an explanation later put him on the right track.
As I was discretely listening in on their conversation, I found that my first opinion of Hisao was well off the mark.
The one thing they did give him was a nickname, something that Misha didn't do with me and it felt like something Hisao didn't like.
I disregarded the rest of the conversation as I moved my desk over to join those of my usual group work colleagues.
As we began work on the assignment, we talked amongst ourselves in hushed tones.

"What do you think of the new student", Molly asked.
"I think he's an asshole", Miki said "he didn't even introduce himself".
"Just because I introduced myself and he didn't, doesn't make him an asshole", I said "he might have left the hospital recently and is still adjusting to whatever happened to him".
"Didn't you come here from the hospital", Miki asked.
"They tried to integrate me back into my old school", I said "but things kept going wrong, so I was transferred here at the end of my second year".
"Why didn't that come up before", Miki asked.
"Because you never asked before", Suzu said "we're meant to be working on this assignment not asking the nearly new guy twenty questions, and before you ask I do know what happened to him before coming here".
"Then I'll be sure to come over to your room for all the details", Miki said.
"I'll only give you them over my sleeping body", Suzu said "you'll have to get the information from someone else if I don't let it out in my sleep".
"Does anyone know what this means", Molly asked as she points at a question on her piece of paper.
That distraction was enough for the four of us to get back to the assignment.
We managed to finish everything about ten minutes after the team of Shizune, Misha and Hisao finished.
When the bell chimed to tell us that the lunch break had started, Suzu, Miki, me and the rest of the usual suspects headed straight for the cafeteria.

Nothing much really happened during lunch, apart from Misha being herself when she along with Shizune escorted Hisao into the cafeteria, and the odd piece of conversation about what was going to happen after classes let out since we had to finish off the signs for our festival booth.
We were the last to get back to class, and everything went on as normal.
As the end of class crept closer, I suddenly heard someone yawning and it didn't come from where I expected it to come from.
Turning around ever so slightly to my left, I found that the source of the yawning was Hisao.
My assumption about him just coming out of hospital recently might be correct.
The remaining time left in the day went by rather quickly, and the bell finally chimed to indicate that lessons had ended.
As everyone started to either leave the classroom or to get ready to finish off the work of the signs, Misha told Hiaso that they couldn't show him around since they had other things that needed to be done, but they did show him where the nurses office was before they did start on whatever they were doing.
Once everyone that was working on the signs was ready, including Hanako again, we picked up the signs and headed out to our work area near the track.
User avatar
Tenteke
Posts: 24
Joined: Wed Jun 27, 2012 12:23 pm
Location: U.S.

Re: Facing my Pains

Post by Tenteke »

Your story is really good so far. I look forward to reading more.
Hope is not dead yet, so we'll forever scream until it's deafening. Jessie Barnett
I'd rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I am not. Kurt Cobain
We are given too much room to be expected to do only good. We are more curious than bold. Keith Buckley
User avatar
demonix
Posts: 355
Joined: Mon Feb 20, 2012 7:20 pm

Re: Facing my Pains

Post by demonix »

First a few notices (of sorts) before I post the next chapter.

The previous chapter, this one and the next two or three after that (I'm not too sure if I should miss out the day that follows this chapter) the chapter after that should be the festival which will be the beginning of the end of Hisao's presence in the story (I've already seen the deep end, so what happens just after that should be pretty easy to put down).

I've also had to take some of the material from the game (I think that it's necessary in this instance since the scenes in question include Hisao), but I've made some additions which might be a complete and total mess in places.

And here's the next chapter, complete with a small dose of ivegottogodosomething.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Library Incident

There's only five more days until the festival.
I lay back down on my bed as I go through the events of yesterday afternoon in my mind.
Hanako did come and help out, but she only went as far as making sure all the paints were the correct colour and that there was enough of them before leaving.
We managed to finish everything in just under three hours, which pleased Shizune and Misha as we delivered all the signs to them in the student council room.
When I returned to the dormitory, I instinctively started looking around the first floor looking for Hisao's room and found it opposite the room with a nameplate marked Setou.
After what little information I had about him, I hoped that Hisao would make a few friends here and not be dragged down by his influence.
There wasn't much I could do about that at this moment in time, so I got myself ready and headed to class.

The day started with more group work, along with a brief verbal blast from Misha which was started by Hisao asking Shizune about something and was ended by the teacher a few minutes later.
I was slightly relieved that Hisao was considering joining a club, since it would keep him away from the eccentric person who resides in the room across from his... most of the time.
The only other thing that happened was Hanako leaving as she does most of the time.
When lunch came around, we headed straight out to the cafeteria before Misha and Shizune left.
They turned up a little while after we did with Hisao in tow, and their conversation seemed to start with a short list of what clubs might be appropriate but it then went to them attempting to get Hisao into the student council.

“It looks like the student council is trying to get the new guy to join them”, Lezard said.
“Thanks for that captain obvious”, I said “I think the whole of Japan could hear what Misha just said”.
“Does anyone know what room he got”, Taro asked “I hope they managed to get him a room away from Setou”.
“Unfortunately, he has the room opposite”, I said “but I have hopes that he won't end up being influenced by his section mate”.
"As long as he doesn't end up working with those two", Lezard said.
"I just hope that Hisao is good at risk", I said "since he's been challenged with a spot on the student council being his if he loses... I think".
It was lucky that I was still listening in on their conversation, but then you'd be able to hear even if you didn't want to.
With lunch all but done with, we cleaned up and headed back to the classroom.

Nothing much happened during afternoon lessons, apart from Hanako walking back in about an hour or so after lunch had ended.
There wasn't much to do once classes had ended since all that had to be done for the festival could be done nearer the end of the week, so I decided to catch up on all the track and field club attendances I'd missed from dealing with the festival preparations.
The track was almost devoid of life when I got there which was most likely due to most of the team working on their festival booth, but I did expect the person who was running on the track to be here and she changed her course once she'd seen me.

"I didn't expect you to come today", Emi said.
"I've been a bit busy with all the festival plans", I said "so I thought that I should catch up on the time I've missed".
"Now that's dedication", Emi said "do you have anything else to do in regards to the festival?"
"We just have to sort out the food", I said "but that's going to be started on the day before".
"Are you sure that's wise", Emi asked "you won't have that much time to do everything".
"The only things that need to be done beforehand are the cakes and such", I said "everything else just has to be prepared to be made into their respective dishes on the day".
"You seem to have everything sorted out", Emi said "unlike most of the people in the club who end up arguing every time a decision had to be made".
"We had all our meetings near the track", I said "so you would've seen how everything went".
"I think that I did", Emi said "there were a lot of hands in the air when I caught sight of one meeting".
"That must've been when we approved Hanako's designs for the booths signs", I said.
"Am I disturbing something important", a familiar voice asked.
I turned around to find the nurse standing there.
"We were just talking about the festival", I said "is there anything you need to ask?"
"I'm just wondering if you've seen a messy haired transfer student walking around here looking rather lost", the nurse asked.
"I haven't seen anyone like that around here", Emi said as I realized who the nurse was talking about.
"You must be talking about Hisao", I said "he hasn't been around yet, but the last I saw of him was when he left the classroom with Shizune and Misha so he must be in the student council room by now".
"Thanks for the information", the nurse said "I'll have to have a word in his ear about this".
The nurse left once he'd been given that information.
"Shall we get on with the running", I said "we don't have that much time".
"We've still got an hour or two left", Emi said "so there's plenty of time".
I couldn't argue with her, so we hit the track and started running.
Well Emi was running while I went along at a just faster then jogging pace.
After around an hour and a half I found someone standing by what was our meeting place, so I broke away from the track and headed over there to find Taro holding the book that I'd written all the recipes in.

"Something on your mind", I asked.
"I was looking at one of the recipes", Taro said "and I think there's more to it".
I looked at the recipe Taro was talking about.
"I only wrote down the basics", I said "there didn't seem to be any need to add the rest of the information".
"It might be good to have the rest of the information", Taro said "we might be able to make a variant or two of that dish".
I looked at my watch and found that I had about half an hour to get to the library and find the recipe book before it closed.
A rather long walk later gets me to the door to the library, and when I walked in I saw Lilly standing at the counter along with Yuuko, who seemed to be nursing a small bump on her head.

“Hello, Lilly”, I said as I walked up to the counter.
“Karou”, Lilly said “how have things been?”
“Busy”, I said “with all the festival preparations going on”.
“How are things going on that”, Lilly asked.
“We've got everything that needs doing done at this point”, I said “I'm just here to look through a recipe book since I only noted down the basics before, and one of the items we'll be selling might have a variation or two”.
“My classes plans have gotten bigger than expected”, Lilly said “we should have the budget in just before the deadline”.
“It must be tough for your class to deal with this”, I said.
“It certainly is since most of the bigger tasks will have to be done by our sighted students, and there are so few of them”, Lilly said “I'm sorry. I shouldn't keep you from your research”.
I left Lilly to do whatever she was in the library for, and headed for the bookshelf that the book I was looking for was located.
It didn't take me that long to find the recipe book I was looking for, but it took me a bit of time to find the right recipe.
What Taro had said was correct as there were a few variations listed, but since I didn't have anything to write on because I left my bag in my room and was still in my gym uniform, I'd have to borrow the book for a few days.
I remembered that I wasn't that far away from Hanako's little reading area. I think she should be...

“Ivegottogodosomething!” an extremely familiar voice blurts out on one go.
Seconds later I saw Hanako running towards the desk, followed by Hisao a little while later but not making that much effort in following her.
With a running form like that, Hanako could give Emi a run for her money.
Since the library was due to close soon I headed for the counter to check out the book.
Lilly had already left by the time I got back to the counter, likely to find Hanako, and Hisao was talking to Yuuko.

“You have to be very careful around her”, Yuuko said “she can be a bit jumpy, I think, and she's not accustomed to talking with other people”.
“Isn't that a bit... strange”, Hisao asked.
“I wonder”, Yuuko said “it's just how she is, I think”.
“You just have to look beyond the obvious”, I said.
“Wouldn't that make me look phony”, Hisao said “like I was ignoring the elephant in the room”.
“You have to do things slightly differently”, I said “even Hanako would open up if you looked beyond the scars on her face, or at least not to look at them, I think”.
“That's right”, Yuuko said “the two of you get along really well”.
“How did you manage that”, Hisao asked.
“Dunno”, I said shrugging my shoulders “I probably made a better impression on her then you did”.
“The library will be closing soon”, Yuuko said “so if you need to check any books out, then you'll have to do it now”.
Hisao walked off, most likely to collect the books he had, and I placed the recipe book on the counter.
“Since this is a non fiction book, you can only have it for a week”, Yuuko said.
“I doubt that I'll need it for that long”, I said “I've only got to get a bit of information, and I'm not that equipped to take notes at the moment”.
Yuuko quickly finished checking the book out, and I left the library.
I got about halfway to the stairs before I heard someone walking rather quickly in my direction, and when I turned around I found Hisao standing there holding a stack of books.

"I thought that you'd be waiting", Hisao said.
"I've got a lot to do", I said "so I couldn't really hang around".
"You must've been here for a while to get close to Hanako", Hisao said.
"I only transferred in at the beginning of the school year", I said "things weren't going well at my old school, so it was decided that I should transfer here just after my second year ended".
"So how did you manage to get Hanako to open up", Hisao asked.
"Like I said, I'm not really sure", I said "it just happened out of the blue, so it might have been that I wasn't paying that much attention to her scars, or something like that".
"Maybe you can give me some pointers", Hisao asked.
"The only thing I can suggest you do is apologise", I said "that might get you back to square one so you can try again".
"Will she be willing to listen", Hisao said.
"I'm certain of it", I said "the only thing you can do is try".
I just hope that he does, even though Hanako will most likely recover from the shock of the encounter rather quickly after Lilly has explained everything.
The only other thing I hope this doesn't affect is Hanako helping Ikuno on Saturday.
User avatar
demonix
Posts: 355
Joined: Mon Feb 20, 2012 7:20 pm

Re: Facing my Pains

Post by demonix »

Here's the next chapter (I've also updated the first post to include the file that contains chapters 21-30 ).

The next two chapters will bring the story up to the day before the festival (the next chapter will include the cold war scene between Lilly and Shizune with a slight tweak).

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Running Catchup

Now there are four days before the festival.
Everything has started to fall into place, after I handed over the extra notes I'd made from the recipe book to Taro.
I'd only written down those that didn't need extra ingredients since we couldn't get any more then what we've already ordered.
We only had to collect everything as well as doing the preparation and cooking, which would be done on Friday with everyone chipping in with exception to the baking which is being handled by Ikuno and hopefully Hanako.
As I prepared to head to class, I packed my gym uniform as well since today would be my final catch up day for running.

Me and my slightly heavier bag got to the classroom with time to spare, but the better thing was that Hanako walked in ten minutes after the bell.
Almost as if it had been planned this way, the teacher said that we'll be going into groups again.
There wasn't that much to do since the assignment only had a few questions that needed answering.
When lunch came around, a debate seemed to start between Shizune and Misha after Hisao asked if there was any place better to eat other then the cafeteria.
I wasn't that bothered with that as I left for the cafeteria with the others, I only hoped that Hisao apologised to Hanako.
We did have to quickly move aside as Emi ran past us, but it sounded like her running was halted a little while later when the familiar sound of her running blades stopped.
Lunch was another discussion about what would be happening on Friday and Saturday, but I did notice Hisao walking in on his own.
I just hope that isn't a bad sign.

Shizune and Misha didn't return to class after lunch, probably because they had an extended lunch or are doing work on the festival stalls.
The rest of the day continued rather peacefully without the worlds loudest interpreter for the deaf being around.
Once the days lessons had ended Hisao seemed to be at a loss as to what to do, but I couldn't do anything to help since I had plans so I packed everything away and headed for the nearest empty place to change into my gym uniform.
After I'd changed into my gym uniform, I headed straight for the track while attempting to avoid Shizune and Misha who seemed to be looking for something.
As I approached the track, I could see an all to familiar figure walking away from it.

“Still playing catchup”, the nurse asked once he got into range.
“It's the last day I'll be doing this until after the festival”, I said “and how did you know I was playing catchup with my running?”
“This isn't your usual day for being at the track”, the nurse said “so that along with the festival coming up tells me that you're making up for missed attendances”.
“I thought that I'd be making a bad impression if I missed a few days and didn't catch up on them”, I said “it might be harder to catch up after a week or so has gone by”.
“I can't tell if that's coming from you or if Emi is rubbing off on you”, the nurse said.
“I think a pro would say the same thing”, I said “and if you're looking for Hisao, he was in the classroom the last I saw him”.
“That's why I was at the track”, the nurse said “I'll have to hang around the lobby of the school building and see if he turns up”.
“Then I'll let you get going”, I said “you wouldn't want to wait there for ages only to find that he's already left”.
I let the nurse get back to what he was doing and I headed for the track, only to be greeted by a surprised Emi.

“I didn't expect to see you here again”, Emi said
“I've still got some catching up to do”, I said “I can't leave a bad impression on the rest of the team even though I'm only meant to be here two days a week”.
"I'd doubt that you would leave a bad impression", Emi said "you've got the talent to miss a few runs and still get a good time afterwards".
"I should still keep up with everything", I said "but I have a feeling that you've had an eventful day".
"What do you mean by that", Emi asked.
"Because you was running through the corridors during lunch break", I said "and then you seemed to stop suddenly".
"About that", Emi said looking rather embarrassed "I kinda... sorta... ranintothenewguy".
"Since I saw him walk into the cafeteria, you must not have hit him that hard", I said.
"I did get chewed out by the student council president and her loud mouth translator", Emi said.
"That's because running in the corridors isn't allowed", I said "I've already had that lecture from Shizune".
"How did you manage that", Emi asked.
"I woke up late one day and had to run to class", I said "it didn't do good for my back either".
"They should have let you off for that", Emi said "I'm always being told off because I keep on doing it".
"Shizune seems to be a to the rules kind of person", I said "I did explain that walking would've made me even later".
"Shall we get running", Emi said "we can't be talking like this all day".
We headed down to the track and started running, but as before it was Emi doing the running while I was keeping to a just faster then jogging pace.

We kept at it for about two hours before I stopped my run, and Emi slowed down about half an hour later.
"You don't seem to be pushing yourself that hard", Emi said once she'd completely finished her run.
"I wouldn't last that long if I went all out", I said "my back wouldn't have been able to take this amount of running".
"As long as you go all out during the track meet", Emi said "that's all that matters".
"I intend to", I said "I've got a lot hanging over me".
Emi went to do a few more laps, while I grabbed my bag and headed back to my room.
As I headed towards the dormitories, I spotted two figures by a wall that had what looked like the beginnings of a mural on it.
When I got closer I saw that it was Hisao along with the armless girl who I noticed walking with Emi a few weeks ago.
From the looks of things it seemed that Hisao was helping mix paint while the girl painted the mural.
It looked like this was a good sign for things to come, but then I don't even know if Hisao even apologised to Hanako for what happened yesterday.
I'll just have to find out if he did... later.
User avatar
demonix
Posts: 355
Joined: Mon Feb 20, 2012 7:20 pm

Re: Facing my Pains

Post by demonix »

And the next chapter (the chapter after the next one will focus on the festival).

I've actually got my doubts about this chapter since some of it was added in as I went (like Karou having a go (which might be an understatement) at Shizune) and might be a complete and utter mess.

This is also the longest chapter I've written for this story coming in at just under 4 pages (with just over one of those being the 'conversation' between Shizune and Lilly).

As I said a little while ago, taking lines directly from the game in this chapter is a necessary evil since that one scene is linked.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The War of Words

The morning is rung in by the sound of my alarm clock.
There wasn't that much that had to be done for the festival, since all that needed to be done was to collect all the ingredients and do all the preparation work and the former is being done tomorrow after classes let out.
With little else to do I got a fresh uniform ready, took the one I had on yesterday out of my bag and into the small pile of clothes that needed to be washed, got dressed and headed to class.
There wasn't anyone walking around the lobby area when I got to the school building most likely because everyone was putting the finishing touches on their festival plans, but that silence was shattered as I ascended the stairs by what sounded like a door banging against something followed by a loud voice which could only have been from Misha.
As I approached the classroom using a modicum of stealth, I could hear the start of a discussion between Lilly and Shizune/Misha.

“The festival is coming up in three days time, right”, Misha asked “every other class has already handed in their projected budget reports for their events! Even the first years! Except you!”
The end of that was punctuated by her trademark laugh.
“There is still time to hand it in, isn't there”, Lilly asked.
“Today! The deadline is today”, Misha exclaimed “you're certainly taking your time, aren't you? If I had it my way, I'd have had all of the necessary paperwork days ago, but someone! Had to say 'the deadline, please extend it!'”
“Yes, that was me”, Lilly said “planning something on this scale is not a small task, and a week is too small a time frame to expect a whole class to work out such a complex issue completely”.
“Do you want to know what's harder than distributing the funds for one class' event”, Misha asked “handling the same matter for every class in the school and then some! The one who does that is me!”
And by me, Misha definitely means Shizune.
“Hey, Shizune, aren't you being a little too hard on her” Hisao asked “there's still a whole day left”.
I didn't think that Hisao was there, but he's been so quiet that I didn't know until now.
“Please, Hisao”, Lilly said “it's all right”.
It sounded like she was happy that Hisao was taking her side, but there was a bit of conflict there as well.
“If this is about the budget, then I'm disappointed you think I have forgotten about it”, Lilly said “I understand how important it is”.
“Then! Can I have it, please”, Misha asked with the last word that was uttered being rather un-Shizune-ish.
“Shizune, she might not have it on her at this exact second”, Hisao said.
“It's not here right now”, Lilly said “I asked two students to take care of it for me. Students from my class”.
Lilly emphasizes the last sentence probably because she's heard about Shizune and Misha's attempts to get Hisao to join the student council, but I could give her a lot more ammo if she knew who did the majority of the work for our class' project.
“It was your responsibility”, Misha exclaimed “a budget report isn't something you should be delegating away; as class rep, it's your job to be on top of things! This kind of disregard for proper procedure is really just terrible!”
“They completed it, being capable of doing so”, Lilly said “but the students have been sick recently, so they could not come to school and give it back to me. If you want, I will apologise on their behalf for getting sick”.
That seems to go over Misha, but I couldn't tell how Shizune took it.
“Lilly, don't they live here at the school? That's a five minute walk, you know”, Misha said “what could they possibly have that prevents them from taking five minutes out of their busy lives... to drop off something that will affect the enjoyment of their entire class?”
It sounded like Lilly or someone was going to say something, but the sound of footsteps and what sounded the furious movement of someone's hands put a quick end to that.
“And what's with that attitude? I said that it's not something that you should be delegating away; are you the class representative or aren't you”, Misha asked with her voice not losing its cheerful tone even though she's trying to convey the same passion “tell me the names of these two students, they should have your job if you can't even handle something this simple yourself”.
“One form isn't the full extent of what I'm supposed to take care of”, Lilly said with her tone becoming slightly impatient, but it sounds like she's doing a good job of not letting Shizune see how unsettled she is becoming.
“Of course, you do so much, class rep”, Misha exclaimed “it must be so difficult being you!”
Even with Misha still translating everything in her usual cheerful tone, Lilly seemed to understand the intent behind them and responded in kind.

“I was actually just discussing the budget report before you came by”, Lilly said in a tone of voice I thought I'd never hear from her “you must be very talented to have finished all your student council duties so quickly that you can track me down to make sure I don't forget my own”.
“Are you accusing my of slacking off”, Misha asked as she translated whatever Shizune was 'saying' “it seems that you're confusing me with yourself!”
“I don't think so”, Lilly said keeping her previous tone of voice “that would be a very difficult thing to do; comparing myself to you”.
“You're right”, Misha said keeping on track with her translation “the difference between us is like heaven and hell”.
“And it's not hard to guess which one you might represent”, Lilly said.
The negative aura that was emanating from them had started to leak out into the corridor, but it completely vanished with the next words that came out.
“Hicchan! Don't you slack off either”, Misha said
“What are you talking about”, Hisao asked.
“Aren't you taking part in the festival? You are, aren't you”, Misha asked “Then! I hope you're going to do a lot more to make sure it goes smoothly than this person!”
I have no idea why Shizune just said that, since there's no way a student that just transferred in on Monday can do anything to help because we're so close to finishing everything.
It had gone too far and I wasn't in a good mood after hearing everything that had just been said, so I walked into the classroom.

“Shouldn't you be cutting Hisao a bit of slack”, I said “it's not like he could do much, even if he wanted to”.
“That's right”, Lilly said “you shouldn't expect a transfer student to jump right into it on his first week”.
“Excuses, excuses”, Misha said “miss class rep has had plenty of time to deal with her report”.
“You might have a point there although there is still plenty of time left in the day to get the report to you, but”, I said as I turned to face Shizune so she saw me and not Lilly “I think some of what you said was highly inappropriate. I'm certain that Lilly would've had a good reason for requesting an extension to the deadline as well as delegating some of the paperwork to other students in her class, but I think saying that Lilly should be replaced as class rep because of this was uncalled for. What would you have done if you did and the new person made a monumental error. Would you have asked them what had gone wrong, would you have lectured them, would you have told them what was important, would you have made sure they knew what they should do, WOULD YOU HAVE GOTTEN ANGRY AT THEM, WOULD YOU HAVE TOLD THEM THAT THEY MIGHT BE REPLACED, WOULD You”.

I was stopped mid sentence, or mid shout by a hand being placed on my right shoulder, and turning around slightly I found that it was Lilly who did that as well as knowing why what just happened, happened.
I was happy to be helping out with the class' festival plans, but I wasn't happy with all the responsibilities being placed on my shoulders, even though they did what could be considered a major part of the plans, and that suppressed rage just came out starting with some slight anger in my voice and ending in what could only be described as part shout and part blood curdling scream.
If Lilly hadn't stopped me when she did, I doubt that even god would know what would have happened afterwards.
As I turned my head back to face those I had been talking to/shouting at, I could see that Shizune wasn't that affected by seeing my tirade, but it looked like Misha was about to wet herself or do something a lot worse then that.
I didn't want to say anything else since I might blow up again, so I walked over to my seat as I heard Shizune walk out of the classroom with Lilly leaving shortly afterwards.

Classes started as usual with Shizune and Misha returning just before the bell.
Nothing much happened during the day, although my mood didn't improve that much since the words storm and teacup came to mind as I went through the day along with some of the class finding out about the little fracas this morning.
Once classes had ended for the day I had to find out if Hanako would still be helping out on Saturday, and since she didn't turn up to class there was only one place I knew that she would be.
The quiet of the library calmed me a lot more than sitting in class with the student council popsicle sitting behind me, but I decided to walk around first before I spoke to Hanako since I wasn't calm enough.
After about half an hour of walking around, I finally made it to Hanako's reading nook.
She was there with her head buried in a book, but it looked like she'd only just sat down to read it.
The way Hanako turned around as I approached her proved it, or it could be that she spotted me on her way over here and knew what I was doing in the library.

“Is everything all right”, I asked “I didn't see you in class”.
A plain and simple nod is all I get in reply.
“I just wanted to make sure you was still okay with helping out on Saturday”, I asked.
Another nod is what I got at first.
“I... did say... that I was going to help”, Hanako said.
“I thought that after what happened on Tuesday”, I said “you might have gone back on helping”.
This time she shook her head.
“I said... that I was going to help and... I still will”, Hanako said “but Hisao hasn't spoken to me since”.
Note to self, make sure Hisao apologises to Hanako the next chance I have.
“I'll leave you to your book”, I said “and I'll make sure Ikuno knows that you're still good to help out”.
Hanako nodded again and I took my leave telling Yuuko that I'll be bringing the book I borrowed back tomorrow, but as I left the library I was confronted by a girl wearing really thick glasses.
She took one look at me through her glasses before she grabbed me by my right arm and started dragging me down the corridor.
I was taken to the stairs, back up to the third floor and all the way to the door foe class 3-2.
The girl opens the door to the classroom and walks in, still dragging me along.

“I found him, Lils”, the girl said “he was in the library”.
I was rather confused since I didn't know anyone by that name, but I soon figured that it must be some kind of nickname as the girl comes to a halt near an all to familiar figure.
Once Lilly had thanked her and assigned her another task, she turned back to me.
“I'm sorry that you had to come here like this”, Lilly said.
“There's nothing to worry about”, I said “I just have to make sure the blood is running back to my hand”.
“I should apologise for what happened this morning”, Lilly said “I shouldn't have dragged you or Hisao into our discussion”.
“You shouldn't be apologising for that”, I said “I think what happened was well overdue”.
“Why would you say that”, Lilly asked.
“Because Shizune put me in charge of almost everything”, I said “all she did was fill in the budget forms and most likely the work on the booth”.
“I thought as much”, Lilly said “she's always does things like that”.
“It was only with the help of the rest of the class that I was able to got this far”, I said “although three of the guys didn't join in, but Hisao isn't counted since he wasn't here when everything was planned”.
“If only three people aren't helping”, Lilly said “then does that mean”.
“Hanako is helping out”, I said “but only in a limited fashion”.
“I'm happy that Hanako is helping out”, Lilly said “but I thought that she'd be doing more since the two of you are friends”.
“You can't expect Hanako to change so quickly in such a short time”, I said “it'll take some time before she's up to doing more then just being in the background”.
“You're absolutely right”, Lilly said “but I'm glad that she's found another friend”.
“Is there anything you need help with in here”, I asked “we won't be starting on the finishing touches to our class' project until tomorrow”.
“Are you certain”, Lilly asked.
“We'll be collecting all the ingredients we need tomorrow”, I said “and doing all the required preparation work on Saturday”.
“Then we could use the help”, Lilly said “with you here we might be able to get everything done today”.

I spent the next few hours helping Lilly's class finish up the work on their festival booth.
After hearing from Lilly the full extent of their plans, I could see why she'd asked for more time to get all the paperwork in since the booth was at least twice the size of ours.
All of my darting around the classroom was worth it, as everything was finally finished and everyone left for their dorm rooms.
Now all I have to focus on dealing with the final part of my class' festival plans.
User avatar
Scissorlips
Posts: 308
Joined: Mon Mar 19, 2012 6:21 am

Re: Facing my Pains

Post by Scissorlips »

I was wondering when we were going to see more of this. I hope your main character is just about ready for the festival, because I sure know I am.
One other thing I was curious about is how far are you planning to go with this story? What I mean is, do you have a specific scope in mind? Will it go up till summer vacation, or to graduation, or even into their adulthood? It's okay to follow the flow of the story and just take things one step at a time, but it would be a good idea to think of some of the things you want to accomplish with this story, some of the most important things you want to have happen.

[Pastebin] [Familiarity]
Your troubles shall cease, and you will know peace.

User avatar
demonix
Posts: 355
Joined: Mon Feb 20, 2012 7:20 pm

Re: Facing my Pains

Post by demonix »

My writing has slowed down a bit on this story because I've been juggling two things at the same time (writing this as well as unloading a ton of video from the sky+ box and both my computer and the aforementioned box are in different rooms).

The next chapter will focus on the day before (with a brief recap of the day before at the beginning) the festival with one slight change from how the games goes since Hanako leaves class right after the bell instead of staying in class because she's helping with one part of the prep work that still needs doing, and the festival will be split into two chapters (the first being comprised of most of the festival with the second following what happens after Hisao... well you should know what I was about to say since I've said it when I posted the first chapter of this story).

I didn't have any idea on how far I'd be taking this story when I started it since some elements of it were coming out as I was writing, but I have decided to take it up to graduation with a reunion story that will take place around 3 years afterwards (Helbereth's five year illumination gave me a bit of inspiration for the reunion part of the story).

Hanako will still feature as one of the more major characters in the story just below Suzu (well Suzu is the romantic interest and Hanako is... I'll just leave that until I get to the part of the story) after the festival and the track meet.
User avatar
Oddball
Posts: 3027
Joined: Wed Feb 29, 2012 2:05 pm

Re: Facing my Pains

Post by Oddball »

I have a hard time taking this seriously, as your main character seems so perfect at everything.

Also, this right here...
“I'm so happy that we met, and fell in love with each other”.
This is the corniest line ever.
Not Dead Yet
User avatar
demonix
Posts: 355
Joined: Mon Feb 20, 2012 7:20 pm

Re: Facing my Pains

Post by demonix »

You have to look beyond what is written and make your own conclusions as to why that is so, since there isn't much written about his past beyond the accident, his participation in his old schools track team and his childhood friend/neighbour.

I thought some of my recent descriptions for Shizune and Misha would've gotten the humour award.

And here's the next chapter, but I'm not too happy about some parts and I might go back and make some changes in the future (if I do then the changed version will only be available once I've hit the ten chapter limit for the current file).

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Final Stretch

It's now one more day until the festival, and is also the day all the final prep work will be done.
I knew that once classes ended that we'd have to make sure everything is done by the end of the day, but since we have so much time it's unlikely that we'll run out of time before we finish everything.
The good thing was that Shizune didn't chew me out for what happened the day before, but she did mention my helping out Lilly's class and that I should be focusing on our class' project to which I responded that a half completed booth would affect the enjoyment of their class a lot more then a budget report.
I wasn't sure if Shizune was satisfied with that response, but she didn't 'say' anything else on the matter.
Once classes ended, everyone left the classroom and headed for the school gate, although I had to make a detour via the library to drop off the recipe book.
The trip to the city and back took all of just over three hours to complete, as we only had to collect everything and bring it back.
Those that were able to took a batch of the supplies to their room, but the girls did help Ikuno out by sharing out what she had to take between them and dropping them off in her room before heading to their own.
As I looked over at the bags that I'd placed in one corner of my room I knew that every second counted, but I didn't need to think about that now since I needed to get to class.

Everyone filtered into the classroom at around the same time with only three students looking a bit the worse for wear, probably because they stayed up late working on their clubs festival preparations.
Mutou walks in looking rather tired and scrawls some page and question numbers on the board before slumping down at his desk.
Everybody starts to shuffle their textbooks around to start work, but the classroom was quieter then usual since Shizune and Misha weren't here and were probably doing more student council work for the festival.
A little while later Mutou leaves the comfort of his chair and walks towards Hisao, and asks if they could speak for a moment opting for the quiet of the corridor to conduct their conversation.
The conversation lasted all of about ten minutes, and the two returned to the classroom and back to their respective seats.
Silence returns to the class and is only broken when the bell signals the end of lessons for the day, but Mutou decided to have the last word as he asks to have the answers in by Monday.
Once the groaning was done with, everyone packed their things away and headed out to finish the festival preparations except for the three who decided not to help out and Hisao who seems to be finishing off the questions.
As I approached my room, I noticed a rather large box as well as a note attached to it.

Here's all the containers you need to store the food once you've prepared it.
You'll have to hand them out as this box contains everything.
Everything else will be at the booth when you get there tomorrow.


I dragged the box into my bedroom and opened it.
Inside there was a large amount of storage containers in different sizes, with about thirty or so being able to store the cakes that Ikuno and Hanako would be working on.
I started organising the containers to make sure each group got the same amount, and placed them into bags.
Once I'd done all that, I picked up the supplies I had along with one load of storage containers and headed for the dorm kitchen.
A debate was raging between the three members of the team that were in the kitchen, which came to an end as soon as I walked in.

“What took you so long”, Akio asked “I thought you'd abandoned the project”.
“You should give him the benefit of the doubt”, Lezard said “he had that box to deal with”.
“Thanks for the vote of confidence”, I said “so what was that debate about?”
“We were wondering what we'd be putting everything into while we were preparing everything”, Akio said.
“Then you're lucky that I decided to check out what was in that box”, I said as I lifted up the bags containing the storage containers “because we now have all the storage containers we need”.
“At least someone was on the ball”, Lezard said “that can't be everything that was in the box?”
“The contents have to be divided between the three teams”, I said “so someone had to deliver the rest to the kitchen in the girls' dorm and the school kitchen”.
“Then you should do it”, Taro said “we've got everything under control at the moment”.
I placed the supplies and the storage containers on the counter and headed back to my room to collect the rest of the containers.
As I went through the rest of the containers, I found that there were slightly more for storing the cakes then I originally thought so I packed everything into their respective bags and headed for my first stop.
When I finally found the kitchen in the girls' dorm there was a debate raging that was similar to the one I overheard in the boys' dorm kitchen, but instead of the seven people I expected only Natsume and Naomi were there with Suzu looking like she was just there to hold up one of the counters.

“Are these what you were waiting for”, I asked slightly lifting up one set of bags.
“How did you know that was what we were talking about” Naomi asked.
“Because there was a similar debate over the other side”, I said “where has everyone else gone to?”
“They went to help move the ingredients Ikuno and Hanako would be using to the schools kitchen”, Natsume said.
“There was a lot, so some help would be needed”, I said “I'm heading over there myself so I'll make sure they come back”.
As I handed over the containers, I was slightly distracted by a rhythmic tapping noise as a all to familiar figure entered the kitchen.

“Excuse me”, Lilly said “do you know where Hanako is?”
“She should be in the schools kitchen helping Ikuno out”, I said.
The worried look on her face faded away after I said that.
“I was worried when she wasn't in the classroom”, Lilly said “Hanako did say that she had something to do, but she didn't say what it was or if she'd be in the classroom after class”.
“Hanako probably thought that amount of information was enough to tell you that she wouldn't be there”, I said.
“Have you found Hanako yet”, a female voice asked.
As the source of the voice came into view, I concluded that she must be related to Lilly in some way, most likely an older sister because of what she is wearing.
“Not yet, Akira”, Lilly said “but I do know where she is now”.
“Then we should get going”, Akira said.
“So should I, since I have another delivery to do”, I said “I'll let Hanako know that you was looking for her”.
“That won't be necessary”, Lilly said “I was only going to tell her that I would be spending the afternoon with my sister”.
“I'll still tell Hanako if she asks”, I said as I started to head to my last drop off point.

As I headed for the school building, I ran into the other girls standing around like statues and after a little talking they headed back to the dorms.
When I arrived at the schools kitchen, it didn't take that long to find who I was looking for.

“I didn't expect that you would come here”, Ikuno said.
“I just came to drop some stuff off”, I said as I lifted the bag “this lot was left outside my room and I've been getting everything handed out to everyone”.
“There should be more than enough containers here to store everything”, Ikuno said after she'd examined the contents of the bag.
“How have things been”, I asked.
“They've been going pretty well”, Ikuno said “having Hanako here has helped since we can get everything done in time”.
“I'll leave you to your work then”, I said as I started to leave.
“H-has Lilly been looking for me”, Hanako asked.
“She has, but I told her where you were”, I said “she was going to tell you that she would be spending time with her sister”.
A small nod from Hanako tells me that she was happy with what I'd said, and she goes back to what she was doing while I headed back to the dormitories.

When I got back to the kitchen in the boys' dormitory, a lot of progress had been made as I looked at the stack of filled containers.
Miki and Ritsu were here as well, probably because they were told to come over and help out.
They'd set up a form of a production line with two teams of two doing the preparation and packing, with Akio sealing the containers.
With my work done, I helped out one of the teams with their work and after about five hours everybody had finished what they'd been working on.
Once everyone knew what was going to happen tomorrow, we put all the prepared items into storage and headed for our rooms.
badmanslayer04
Posts: 34
Joined: Sat Jun 23, 2012 3:12 pm

Re: Facing my Pains

Post by badmanslayer04 »

I am enjoying your story so far and I look forward to the next chapter although I do agree with Oddball it does seem like your character can do no wrong
Image
Image
Image
User avatar
demonix
Posts: 355
Joined: Mon Feb 20, 2012 7:20 pm

Re: Facing my Pains

Post by demonix »

I'm going to spoil you lot now with two chapters instead of one.

The chapter posted here has taken longer then I expected because of slowdowns in my writing, time constraints on a few days due to running out of time and the recent heatwave.

The festival has finally arrived and I wanted to cover it a bit more, but I ended up cutting it short because of the time that had been taken on it.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Festival

My alarm was ringing too early for a Sunday, but it was no ordinary Sunday.
It was the day of the festival, a day that was several weeks in the making.
As I turned off the alarm, another sound take its place.
Once I'd found that the source of the noise was my phone, I picked it up and answered it.

“Swimming pool, deep end”, I said trying to inject a bit of humour into the morning.
“Your sense of humour needs some work”, my father said “that wasn't funny”.
“Is there a reason you called me”, I asked “or did you do this to test my sense of humour because I've got a lot to do today”.
“We need to know the dates of any holidays as well as the date for the track meet”, my father asked “and why do you have a lot to do today”.
“The track meet should be in two weeks time, plus there's a three day weekend sometime next moth and summer break after that”, I said “the school festival is today and I'm in charge of the classes booth”.
“Why didn't you tell us about the festival”, my father asked.
“Because I didn't know about it until it was announced”, I said “and I've been busy with planning, preparation and other stuff to tell you”.
“I've got to go”, I said wanting this to end rather quickly “I have to help set everything up before the festival starts properly”.
I ended the call after that, and went about what I was going to do before I picked up the phone.
After changing into my uniform, I left my room only to be confronted by Akio looking a little like Yoda.

“I'll never complain about how loud your alarm clock is again”, Akio said “it was the only thing that woke me up”.
“At least someone remembered to set their alarm”, Lezard said as he left his room “I don't think anyone else did”.
“We should get moving”, I said as Taro emerged from his room “there's a lot to do before we can open our booth”.
Once those that had left their rooms had lacked their doors, we headed down to the kitchen to collect as much of our booths supplies as we could take, only to be greeted by the female side of the team when we got there.

“It's good to see the four of you are awake”, Miki said “we might have some problems”.
“And what might that be”, I asked.
“We can't carry that much over between all of us”, Miki said “so those who have to collect more supplies will be running around for ages”.
“Once we've got this lot to the booth, those involved in stock handling will sort everything out and the rest of us will split into three teams to collect more”, I said “two will collect from each of the dorms and the third will collect the cakes”.
“Sounds like a plan”, Miki said “do we sort the teams out here or once we get to the booth?”
“When we get there”, I said “we should get this lot shifted before we think of sorting out the teams”.
With that ended, we bagged up as many of the containers as we could carry between those that weren't carrying anything and headed out towards the booth.
When we arrived at the booth we found that it was slightly larger then it was in the plans, but it gave us more space to work in and everything that we needed to prepare everything was there as well as the stuff we needed to serve everything to any customers
Once we dropped off everything that we was carrying, I split those that would be bringing more stuff into three teams of three and we headed off in our respective directions with Miki, Ikuno and I heading off to collect the cakes.
Since the trip to and from the schools kitchen took less time then to the dorm kitchen to collect things, we managed to put in an extra run so that we had more than enough so that here wasn't need to collect more to soon.
As we returned to the booth after the forth trip, more signs of life were present as other students started to get their booths ready for the days events.
When we got back to the booth, the first batches of the other items we would be selling were being worked on by the cooking team.
After a quick pep talk, those that weren't doing anything put the finishing touches to the booth, like putting out the signs that had the list of what we were selling along with the price.

Things were a bit slow to begin with since our first customers were students who hadn't had anything to eat yet, but the number of customers started to gradually increase as people started to walk onto the school grounds.
As I finished serving one customer and giving them the standard warning about the side affects of the cake they had, a familiar figure approached the counter.

“I heard that this place doesn't sell any fried foods”, Emi asked “is that correct?”
“Of course it is”, I said “we decided to do stuff that was suited to the dietary needs of the students”.
“I hope it tastes better then what's served at the cafeteria”, Emi said.
“We haven't had any complaints yet”, I said “so we must have gotten that part correct”.
Emi quickly examined the menu, and pointed at one of the items on the list.
“I'll have two of those, and a piece of cake”, Emi asked “make it a large piece”.
“Are you sure about that cake”, I asked “I wouldn't want you to miss out on most of the festival because you have to keep on going to the toilet”.
“So you weren't joking about what you said to the people before me”, Emi asked.
“What's used in place of sugar is basically a laxative”, I said “depending on your tolerance either a little or a lot can have you running for the nearest toilet after about an hour”.
“Then I'll take a standard sized piece”, Emi said after she thought about it “I wouldn't want to try running in these legs”.
“I don't think that would stop you”, I said “you'd probably run in those legs while carrying a few people”.
I quickly called out Emi's order as I pulled two bowls out from under the counter and handed them over to be filled, while Ikuno brought out another container for the cake.
“So who's the second bowl for”, I asked.
“It's for Rin”, Emi said as she put the money for her order on the counter “she's been working on her mural non stop since Friday evening, and I'm not sure if she's eaten anything”.
There wasn't any time to continue the discussion as the order was completed rather quickly, and once the two bowls and the cake were placed on the counter I went back under the counter and brought out one set of disposable chopsticks, two plastic forks and a straw.
“What's the straw for”, Emi asked.
“If this Rin is who I think it is”, I said “then she'll need that straw to get the leftover liquid out of the bowl”.
“You've got some good instincts”, Emi said “I'd better get this back to Rin before she walks off somewhere, even though she has to stay with her mural”.
Emi picked up the two bowls along with the container holding the cake and walked away.
As Emi walked off, I thought that I'd seen Hisao, but he quickly disappeared into the crowd.

The day continued, as did business which was so plentiful that some of the backstage team had to help out with orders.
Even the student council popsicle was impressed at what we'd done when she and her drill haired translator turned up.
By mid afternoon the amount of customers we got started to dwindle, with some of those coming over being repeat customers.
“I think you need to take some time off”, Miki said “you've been working harder then everyone”.
“Are you sure”, I asked “we could end up with another large batch of customers”.
“I'm certain since we have all the stock here”, Miki said “and we have more than enough people to deal with any customers even if we're short a few people, so take your girlfriend and go enjoy the festival”.
To keep this from going any further, I asked if anyone in the stock and collection teams wanted to go enjoy the rest of the festival as well.
The remainder of the stock team wanted to go along with Lezard, so I assigned Molly to counter duties and Miki to stock duties to pay her back for what she'd just said.
Once that had been done, those who wanted to go left the booth, with Suzu and I leaving shortly afterwards.

“Where do you want to go first”, I asked Suzu once we'd gotten clear of the booth.
“We have to be to the main gate by six”, Suzu said “I'm meeting my parents there at that time”.
“There's still plenty of time”, I said as I looked at my watch “we should get a few things to eat before hitting the game booths and then head for the gate”.
“That sounds like a plan”, Suzu said “although we might have to stop off at the dorms if we win anything substantial”.
“Then we should make sure our route to the main gate goes by the dorms”, I said.
We started our tour of the festival by visiting several several of the food stalls, and getting enough food to feed a small army since we hadn't eaten anything for most of the day.
The fun really started after we'd inhaled all the food, as we headed for the game booths.
As Suzu had seemingly predicted, we ended up with a few substantial prizes as well as some smaller prizes, so we stopped off at the dormitories to drop everything off before heading to the main gate.
We stopped to look at the mural on our way to the main gate, so we ended up arriving there a little later then expected.
Suzu scanned the crowd around the gate, and after a little while she walked towards two figures standing around eight hundred meters away.
The woman had been waving since Suzu spotted them and most likely before that, but the man, who was wearing a suit, had a very serious look on his face either from Suzu being late, or from her walking here with a guy.

“You're late”, the man said rather harshly.
“We stopped by the mural on our way here”, Suzu said.
“And who might this be”, the man asked still using his harsh tone.
“This is Karou”, Suzu said “he's my boyfriend”.
The world around us seemed to come to a grinding halt when Suzu dropped that bomb, and each of the recipients of that news reacted differently, with her mother looking mostly pleased about the news, but her father looked like he was going to go thermal instead he turned to look directly at me.
“If you ever take advantage of my daughters condition to do something improper”, Suzu's father said “then I'll make sure you never see her again”.
“I'd never do anything like that”, I said looking directly at Suzu's father “I'm not that kind of person”.
It felt like an age went by as we stared at each other, but it ended when Suzu's father started laughing.
“Then you'll be a good son in law”, Suzu's father said “if the two of you get married”.
“Aren't you jumping the gun dear”, Suzu's mother said “they're still highschool students with a lot on their minds concerning their futures which wouldn't include planning to get married”.
Feeling utterly defeated, Suzu's father took a few steps back and didn't say anything else on that subject.
“Shall we get going”, Suzu's mother said “we should have enough time to get something to eat before the fireworks”.
“Then I should get going as well”, I said “I don't think you need a forth wheel, and there's... something I need to sort out”.
“Then we'll meet up here when we get back”, Suzu's mother said.
“Unless I manage to sort this thing out”, I said “then I'll head for the town, since I'm guessing that's where you're going”.
After confirming what I'd said, I headed back into the festival while Suzu and her parents headed out towards the town.

Even though I'd only caught site of him for a second or so, I was still concerned since I hadn't seen Hisao since and didn't see him when I was walking around with Suzu, so I was going to see if I can at least find him to alleviate some of my concerns.
I walked around all the stalls at least seven times taking different routes each time, but I didn't find him.
The only other place I think he could be apart from his dorm room was somewhere in the school building.
Once I finished my last walk through, I headed straight for the school building to take a rest before continuing on with my search.
When I got back to my feet after my rest, a noise that sounded like a fence moving make me look up, but what greeted me was something... I never thought I would never have to see.
User avatar
demonix
Posts: 355
Joined: Mon Feb 20, 2012 7:20 pm

Re: Facing my Pains

Post by demonix »

And here's the second.

This was a spur of the moment thing, is written from Suzu's prospective, it takes place between the end of the last chapter, is written in a slightly different style then I normally use and the end of the next and was written on just over two hours so it might be really messy in places.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Crisis

The tension is so thick in this booth that you can cut it with a knife.
I'd have to say that this was to be expected after I told my parents about my boyfriend after keeping the information hidden from them every time I spoke to them after golden week.
After we left Karou at the school, my parents took me to the Shanghai.
Even though I don't come here that often, the portion sizes were enough since I'd eaten a lot at the festival.
While we're waiting for our orders, it looks like my parents had the opportunity to question me about Karou.

"How long have you known him? How did you get to know him?"
My father always starts with the basics.
"He transferred in at the beginning of the current term, but I managed to talk to him after he'd had his initial check up with the nurse. It only happened because I was taken there myself during lunch because I fell asleep".
I felt that my response was honest, since what I said was the truth.
"How long have the two of you been in this relationship?"
At least my father didn't ask this question.
"It started at the end of golden week, so it's been at least a month".
I know what's about to happen.
"Why didn't you say anything about this?"
I knew my mother would be concerned about this.
"I didn't want you to have the wrong opinion of Karou. I thought a face to face meeting would be better which is why I didn't tell you until now".
That was the truth. I hope they're happy with that response.
"At least you managed to get yourself a good guy, and he's pretty honest".
My father nods when my mother said that.

There wasn't anything else said on that subject, since Yuuko came back with our order a little while after the last thing my mother said.
They did wonder how a place like this was able to stay in business because there wasn't anyone here except for Lilly, the 3-2 class rep and Hanako.
I ended up taking my time eating the cake I'd ordered mainly because I was probably still digesting what I'd finished eating an hour or so before I was meant to meat my parents, but the tea was a good way to wash it down.
I checked my watch after I'd finished which told me that it was now five minutes to seven.
We hadn't been here that long, but it did take us a while to get here since my parents didn't know where it was and didn't want any help from me.

"Here it is".
A voice utters those words just a few seconds before the door opens, then Miki and Emi walked in with the former looking very exhausted and panicked as they walked up to the table I was sitting at.
"Suzu, it.. it... it's an hemergencey".
"Calm down Miki. Take deep breaths and then tell me what's happening".
I didn't think I'd ever be saying that to Miki.
"Someone's fallen off the roof of the school building. I don't know the specifics, but I was told that Karou was tending to the injured person".
"Don't you know anything more?"
"I don't. I was asked to bring those in out class that were outside the school grounds back since he might need as much support that we can give since I was also told that he witnessed the whole thing".
I almost went into shock after hearing that, but I was saved by the sound of a phone ringing which was answered by Lilly.
"Hello. Yes, Miura just told us about that. Yes, she's here with me. We'll leave straight away".
I heard her phone snap shut, and she stood up.
"We should get going. It sounds like things have taken a turn for the worse".
"What do you mean by that?"
I wanted to know what she'd been told.
"I haven't been told everything, but I do know that the injured person has died".
Now I was officially in shock. Even though it wasn't Karou who had died, going through all that would be almost as bad.
"You should forgo the cane, and have two people help you since we have to get back as quickly as possible".
At least Miki made a good suggestion since having help should cut down our travelling time.
Once all the bills had been paid, we headed back to Yamaku with Hanako and Miki helping Lilly.

The walk back felt like it had taken hours and not the twenty minutes it actually took, but we got to the gate where a majority of the class was standing along with one extra.
"Does anyone have any more information?"
That one question is the one thing on my mind.
"An ambulance and some police cars went onto the school grounds just after Lilly was called".
"What about Hicchan? Nobody has been able to find him".
Misha's panicking didn't help the calming response from Ikuno.
We headed onto the school grounds and towards the main school building.
When we got there some parts of the grounds near the building had been cordoned off along with the school building itself.
Just outside the entrance, a single figure was sitting down with blood stains on the bottom of the trousers.
The person lifted his head to reveal a dishevelled Karou, with a piece of cotton wool taped to his arm.
"What happened here?"
The question from Misha was short, and the answer that came back was just as short.
"It's Hisao. He's dead".
Misha went deathly pale when those words came out, but the suggestion on what we should do came from an unlikely source.
"W-w-we should stay together. In c-case something else happens".
After everything that's happened, we need to stay with Karou in case he does something stupid.
Good thinking Hanako.
User avatar
atw_ah
Posts: 54
Joined: Sun May 06, 2012 7:37 pm
Location: California, USA

Re: Facing my Pains

Post by atw_ah »

I have to admit, I didn't expect this to be going through the Manly Picnic route. I'm intrigued.

So far your story has been pretty much a slice of life kind. While that can work for some short stories, it doesn't transition well to longer ones. Yours has been lacking a conflict for quite some time now and has become a little bit stale. That's not to say that it's bad, just not as engaging as it was at the start.

By doing what you did in your last chapter, you're quite forcibly putting a conflict into it. While the initial shock value is good, the aftermath is going to become very complicated. Now it comes down to you being able to make the premise work with your character.I know that I sound like a fatalist when I say this but: depending on how well you write the next chapter(s), it will either make or break your story.

Time to see your worth, Demonix.

Though, I'm sincerely expecting you to not disappoint. :mrgreen:

Edit: Oh, you already said what was going to happen to Hisao from the beginning.... I forgot about that..... Still! Don't disappoint!
KS: Bloodline The story of Yaso Atoza, 24 years after the events in KS.
Nomad: A Hanako Tale Hanako's search for her own personal paradise, ten years after KS.

Around The World, Always Honorable

My pastebin
User avatar
Mirage_GSM
Posts: 6217
Joined: Mon Jun 28, 2010 2:24 am
Location: Germany

Re: Facing my Pains

Post by Mirage_GSM »

Okay, your OC has now officially left the border of Gary-Stu-Land behind and is preparing to invade the Saintly Territories.
He is not only genre savy, he is prescient. Just because he hasn't seen one guy since the morning during the school festival - He didn't see several other characters either - he decides to ditch his girlfriend and try to find him to pat his back and make his day a bit brighter. What a samaritan.
Also, he is the perfect organizer, and all his classmates accept his decrees without complaint.

Oh and why did Miki and Emi run all the way to the Shanghai to find Suzu? How did they know she was there in the first place and why didn't she simply call?
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Sore wa himitsu desu.
User avatar
Oddball
Posts: 3027
Joined: Wed Feb 29, 2012 2:05 pm

Re: Facing my Pains

Post by Oddball »

“If you ever take advantage of my daughters condition to do something improper”, Suzu's father said “then I'll make sure you never see her again”.
“I'd never do anything like that”, I said looking directly at Suzu's father “I'm not that kind of person”.
It felt like an age went by as we stared at each other, but it ended when Suzu's father started laughing.
“Then you'll be a good son in law”, Suzu's father said “if the two of you get married”.
Ah. So Suzu's father is bipolar. That could be interesting. ... Well, that or the OC emits an aura that makes everyone around him naturally like the guy.

The first explanation would be the most interesting. The second explanation would make the most sense considering what's been going on in the story so far.
"It's Hisao. He's dead".
Not surprising. His role was usurped by a character that did everything better than he could do, giving him nothing to bond with the girls over and leaving him in the mercies of Kenji. His death is on your hands, Mr. Original Character Guy! I hope you're happy with yourself.
"W-w-we should stay together. In c-case something else happens".
After everything that's happened, we need to stay with Karou in case he does something stupid.
I can't put my finger on way, that makes it sound more like a they think there's a murderer running lose rather than his death being an accident.
Not Dead Yet
Post Reply