Okay, I just read like seven pages of brutal storytime and like three pages on Assassin's Friggin' Creed. Let's get this back on track.
I burned through this pretty quick, but lemme touch on some real quick that I know a thing or two.
@Xanatos: Good on ya for trying to get the hell outta the sticks and get some coolness into your life. Not that there's anything wrong with living in a teeny-tiny community, but I've been down in the Southeast for a bit and it's... well, insular at best and xenophobic at worst. Yeesh. Good whiskey, good tunes, and nothing else I'm really diggin. Next. Hahah. Thanks for the share, and best of luck to ya!
@ the guy that brought up his sister being in a porno: I recently just found out that both my folks were at one time strippers.

That weirds me right the fuck out, but hey, what can you do? You gotta pay the bills somehow, and it's a transitory thing, anyhow. Brothers in strange, man. Hahah.
@Xiious: Stay away from those anime broads. Those two dimensions will cut you deep, bro.
But seriously, nothing wrong with asexuality. Hell, I do it myself on occasion. Sometimes I just don't want anything to do with anyone else's flesh and grime for a second, so no big. Consider it, I dunno, restocking your arsenal. Nothin' weird, nothin' wrong. And if I'm ever in your neck of the woods, even though I've already offered ya a session, you have the pleasure of watching me get hella drunk and talk politics and existential nonsense.
As for the rest of your storytime, I think everyone else, especially our host with the most, kinda nailed it. So there you are, and welcome, new bloods!

... Danger.