Hanako's Broken Heart Club

[ShadeHaven]

First off I'd like say that upon seeing your profile picture for the first time, I cringed several times, in a row.

Besides that, welcome to the forums!

I had the unpleasant experience of having a 9-month long, long distance relationship with a girl very much like Emi. There were no goals, barely any boundaries and neither of us were able to communicate our feelings efficiently at the time. I'm surprised we lasted as long as we did. Basically, she was too attached to call it off, even after all that time, so I finally ended it myself earlier this year. I still think that she secretly hates me for ending our relationship, but considering her relationship with my own mother was on shaky ground, there was no hope for a future. Now we have this fake-friendly like relationship that more awkward than anything.

Hopefully I'll never have to experience that again.

[Total Destruction]

THERE, LIFE'S ALL BETTER

Fixed.

[Pyramid Head]

Ah... childhood. I remember constant bullying, damning loneliness as i was left with the overwhelming sensation that every single person on the planet was out of their mind, and the fact that the closest thing to a friend i had was so rock stupid being in his presence almost made me consider voting third party. Yeah, maybe that is why i loved the Hanako arc so much, when the people around you either torment you or frighten you the floor tiles do take on a special dimension, yes? I could say i gradually got over it, but really i think discovering beer and working on my writing is what's been keeping me from eating people. Of course where Hanako and i differ is my sense of humor turned pitch black and i just forgot about most of the people tormenting me. I do remember a few individuals who threw me under a bus (Metaphorically) after my religious faith, or lack thereof, came to light, but in the end they weren't that intelligent and i have a feeling i'd see there name in the arrest column.
If i wasn't so awful at remembering names. So, yeah, this is just Pyramid Head talking about his broken heart that used to bother him before he painted it black and just found humor in homicidal madness. Hope you enjoyed that.

[Helbereth]

(Dark retelling of a common thread theme)

Welcome aboard the S.S. Hanako! Please check your belongings with the ship-master, they'll be used for fuel. Try to resist your cannibalistic urges since you're among kindred spirits -friends even- and you shouldn't eat your friends. Mind the gap, don't forget to smile and, please, watch your step. The decks can get slippery and quite treacherous with the gigantic waves that come through here regularly.

[Micijayah]

First off I'd like say that upon seeing your profile picture for the first time, I cringed several times, in a row.

Besides that, welcome to the forums!

I had the unpleasant experience of having a 9-month long, long distance relationship with a girl very much like Emi. There were no goals, barely any boundaries and neither of us were able to communicate our feelings efficiently at the time. I'm surprised we lasted as long as we did. Basically, she was too attached to call it off, even after all that time, so I finally ended it myself earlier this year. I still think that she secretly hates me for ending our relationship, but considering her relationship with my own mother was on shaky ground, there was no hope for a future. Now we have this fake-friendly like relationship that more awkward than anything.

Hopefully I'll never have to experience that again.

Hopefully I'll never have to experience that, but I think that it's a possibility... There is no goal and no end in sight. She lives in Germany now, so there's a 6 hour time difference between us, meaning it's hard to find a time that we're both able to communicate with each other. Anyways,
How long ago was this, recent? And how are you holding up emotionally?

[Pyramid Head]

I can think of two i found interesting and one that scares the shit out of me.

I did once know a Rin. I found her fascinating, she was just someone who did her own thing and did it well. We never really got in anything resembling a relationship, in fact an argument i was having with a particularly dull witted example of humanity took something i said out of context and almost utterly destroyed my relationship with her, but ultimately i liked her unique sense of humor and perspective on life. She bit people too.

I knew a Lilly. Or rather i know a Lilly kind of. My best friend these days, when i was still in school he and i were the sane ones in our class. He had his own problems, but was still largely in control and respected his own limits, and he didn't needlessly apologize for things he couldn't help, he was just driven to improve. We still talk, though we don't live in the same town anymore. Plus also like Lilly, i find him to be a little naive. I got the impression that he had some respect for me, which is a bit of a mistake, i don't do commendable things, i just am open about my somewhat disturbed world view.

And lastly i knew a Kenji. Or several Kenji's. Charmless lunatics to whom logic and reason have no meaning. I knew a man who preached of how he would remove a great cancer from the world but knew very little about the rammifications, knew quite a few people who blamed many of the worlds problems on something that had nothing to do with the problem, and my sister had quite the ego and at a couple of points when my dad and i were discussing politics she'd make it clear she thought we were doing it just to spite her. The many Kenji's i've known have kind of ruined my ability to find entertainment in the idiots of life, and have left me with a strong level of disgust in most of humanity. I can like individuals fine but for the most part people to me seem like a toxin when you look at things from the world's perspective. And i'd like to detox. But then again, that's why i avoid YouTube and stick to forums like these, so i can avoid the toxins for the time being and find interesting individuals instead of a swarm of countless barely literate wastes of carbon.


...maybe i shouldn't save the worst for last like that.

[ShadeHaven]

Hopefully I'll never have to experience that, but I think that it's a possibility... There is no goal and no end in sight. She lives in Germany now, so there's a 6 hour time difference between us, meaning it's hard to find a time that we're both able to communicate with each other. Anyways,
How long ago was this, recent? And how are you holding up emotionally?

Well I think that if you guys are just friends, then a goal isn't that necessary although It would certainly help with keeping you two in touch. Germany is a long ways away though.

My break up was about 4 months ago. I'm doing fine, but that's probably because I knew it wasn't going to work between us for a while. I just didn't have the heart to break hers. There were a few things she had done that were disrespectful, and maybe she even knew it would never work herself. She was just too attached though, and honestly the distance had caused me to lose my attraction. I feel horrible for that but its the truth.

Thanks for asking though, much appreciated.

[Tununias]

I had a crush on a girl in the 8th grade. I was too shy so I never said anything. That year, I had been asked out by 5 different girls. All of which I had turned down since I was overweight and assumed they were just making fun of me. I was even sexually harassed by one. Then, after my 8th grade year, I moved.

All these experiences have made me extremely shy and awkward for me to talk to people. Years later (I'm 20 now) I'm still really shy but it's not near as bad as it was.
I guess there really isn't any similarities to KS other than that I could relate with Hanako in some ways. I guess you could say I got the Kenji route.
This is the first (and probably only) time I've mentioned this.
I almost didn't post this so please be nice.

[Myshina]

I had a crush on a girl in the 8th grade. I was too shy so I never said anything. That year, I had been asked out by 5 different girls. All of which I had turned down since I was overweight and assumed they were just making fun of me. I was even sexually harassed by one. Then, after my 8th grade year, I moved.

All these experiences have made me extremely shy and awkward for me to talk to people. Years later (I'm 20 now) I'm still really shy but it's not near as bad as it was.
I guess there really isn't any similarities to KS other than that I could relate with Hanako in some ways. I guess you could say I got the Kenji route.
This is the first (and probably only) time I've mentioned this.
I almost didn't post this so please be nice.

Do not worry dear, no body is here to judge you.

We all are broken souls; some of us already patched themselves, some of us are looking for glue, and some have just started to gather the pieces.

[ShadeHaven]

We all are broken souls; some of us already patched themselves, some of us are looking for glue, and some have just started to gather the pieces.

Very true indeed. Now if only I could get my hand on some good quality glue...

[Myshina]

I'm sure you'll find some in the end. We all do. =D

"In the end, everything will be Okay; if it's not Okay, then it's not the end."

[Walrusfella]

All-Out Knight, it's cool that you're not blind to your own faults, as so many are, but try not to dwell on them so much. You are much more than a amalgam of your worst traits; your faith and your desire to help your fellow man show that.

As for discipline, I'm hardly a model of that myself but I've found that concentrating on one or two things at a time really helps with the likelihood of finishing or making progress. If I work on or start too many things at once I'm much more likely to give up in despair.

Gandara, that was an awesome post. Love the Samwise quote; my favourite from the movies. My goals are as follows: get a better job that pays more and isn't so damn toxic, continue getting fit and losing weight, and start volunteering again. I've made at least some progress on all three.

[Beoran]

Pyramid Head,

Thanks for your story. Cynicism, black humor, and so forth can be negative ways to try to deal with the past. Passive aggression still is aggression. Better to find a way to have more genuine happiness in our hearts.

Edit:
I noticed that this thread passed the 1000 post mark quietly, making this the 3rd most posted to thread in this forum. I hope this thread has been and will be as useful as the amount of posts suggests.

[Pyramid Head]

Pyramid Head,

Thanks for your story. Cynicism, black humor, and so forth can be negative ways to try to deal with the past. Passive aggression still is aggression. Better to find a way to have more genuine happiness in our hearts.

Edit:
I noticed that this thread passed the 1000 post mark quietly, making this the 3rd most posted to thread in this forum. I hope this thread has been and will be as useful as the amount of posts suggests.

I disagree. Cynicism in one definition is realism in context of the society we live in. Being able to find humor and enjoyment in the small facets of our life that aren't gradually destroying our entire population mentally, morally, ethically, or physically is a good state to be in. You have a good perspective on where things are going, know when to ground your enthusiasm or get interested in something, and you rarely if ever are disappointed and can actually find enjoyment in the perverted sections of life that will never go away.

Besides, i think to an extent we're also all psychotic on the inside, and it's better to be honest with inner urges and vent them healthily through written text and things like games than to let them build to the point that repressed rage drives you insane. Or in short, go a little crazy, it's good for you and prevents you from going completely mad.

[mysterycycle]

Cynicism in one definition is realism in context of the society we live in.

But isn't cynicism essentially always expecting the worst? Doesn't that make it just as unrealistic as unfettered optimism?