Hanako's Broken Heart Club

[Helbereth]

Though after reading your posts my main concern now is, are certain rituals or routines might be the signal for schizophrenia in the future?

No.

When my brother had his first break, it really came out of nowhere.

We asked the doctors about whether the other activities (thumb sucking, pacing, obsessive writing) were some kind of early indicator, but he said no. According to him, there really aren't any early indicators of schizophrenia - it just decides to rear its ugly head one day and you have to deal with it as it happens.

He based his Asperger's diagnosis on the other symptoms, in fact. It took months in the hospital before they had a solid diagnosis for the schizophrenia, and months in the hospital after that to work out the right combination of drugs.

He's just on Lithium now, though. He's only been back in the hospital once since the initial break.

[Helbereth]

I will add, though, that a schizophrenic break usually doesn't happen until after age 18 and before 30, according to the doctor, and the break is usually preceded by some kind of stress in the person's life.

In the case of my brother, he was 21 at the time and we had just spent the past 5 months arduously clearing out the house and refinishing it (yeah, finally, 15 years later). There were a lot of arguments floating around at the time. Mainly between the contractor - a cousin from West Virgina - and my mother. In the wake of him leaving with the house still unfinished, my brother started disassociating with reality.

It took two weeks of watching him slowly lose touch before we decided -after a particular morning event I won't describe- to bring him to the hospital.

It was so unexpected that it took us that long to see it happening.

[Pseudogenesis]

Though after reading your posts my main concern now is, are certain rituals or routines might be the signal for schizophrenia in the future? Because, I noticed that usually when I'm alone in home, and when I'm thinking over something hard, I leave my seat and start wandering around in home while I'm thinking. I also just suddenly laugh all by myself when I remember something funny or think of something funny that's in the past, and I also do it when there are other people around me too. And sometimes it causes really awkward situations leading people asking me why I laughed.

Not strange in the slightest, bro. Who doesn't pace when they're thinking or laugh to themselves when they remember jokes? As far as I know, excessively repetitive behaviour is more of an autistic tendency, but even so it'd be nothing to sweat about in comparison to Schizophrenia. Don't worry about it.

[Total Destruction]

Though after reading your posts my main concern now is, are certain rituals or routines might be the signal for schizophrenia in the future? Because, I noticed that usually when I'm alone in home, and when I'm thinking over something hard, I leave my seat and start wandering around in home while I'm thinking. I also just suddenly laugh all by myself when I remember something funny or think of something funny that's in the past, and I also do it when there are other people around me too. And sometimes it causes really awkward situations leading people asking me why I laughed.

Not strange in the slightest, bro. Who doesn't pace when they're thinking or laugh to themselves when they remember jokes? As far as I know, excessively repetitive behaviour is more of an autistic tendency, but even so it'd be nothing to sweat about in comparison to Schizophrenia. Don't worry about it.

Pretty much. You're doin' fine.

[Xiious]

dat ps3 post ._. small update. doing ok guys, just so hard 2 be disconnected from everyone. silly me went and played DEARDROPS. finished all the routes.... with Riho's last. what a mistake. havent stopped crying since the riho route end....

[紹介の運命 Introfate]

Well, I received a call from the Police in that girls area saying she has gone missing and my Messenger contact was the last transmission recorded on that phone. That bothers me just a bit because I tried my hardest to explain to her that we weren't together and I don't see that happening. I did it in a pretty fair way, I wasn't rude about the situation or anything. She just said "Oh yeah, no. I understand." I was trying to thank her for understanding but she logged out.

I'm trying not to worry too hard over the situation but at the same time I don't want to become something out of this if worst case scenario happens. Weak conscience maybe, but I've been running all of the events that have happened past and now and I'll admit I was a bit manipulative. At least it seems that way.

The reason I'm not actively logged in is because it's denying my connection for some reason.

[紹介の運命 Introfate]

Sorry was in a rush writing that previous post, I don't mean to double post.

Regardless though, I remember a similar event in her past. She's done this before, I'm hoping this time it's for the same reason. She was the type that would go out with friends when she lived in the previous town. Well one night she got into a fight with her mother and ran away for a weekend. I didn't find out until the Police had called me because I was the last person she spoke to. When she had returned home she explained what happened. She mentioned if it happened again she would leave for good.

It's only natural to worry but to my understanding I would play a pretty large role in this if she has done something dire.

[Myshina]

Sorry was in a rush writing that previous post, I don't mean to double post.

Regardless though, I remember a similar event in her past. She's done this before, I'm hoping this time it's for the same reason. She was the type that would go out with friends when she lived in the previous town. Well one night she got into a fight with her mother and ran away for a weekend. I didn't find out until the Police had called me because I was the last person she spoke to. When she had returned home she explained what happened. She mentioned if it happened again she would leave for good.

It's only natural to worry but to my understanding I would play a pretty large role in this if she has done something dire.

Actually, you wouldn't. You may influence her, but you do not have control over what she is doing. Her decisions are hers to make. As simple as that. If she runs away, that is completly her choice. No one should take the consequences of someone else's action. =D

[Helbereth]

Well, that sounds dire. Kinda.

I don't know the specifics, but if she's run off before and come back, that's probably what will happen again. I'm no psychologist, but it's changes in behavior that indicate problems, not repeating behavior. Not that repeating behavior like running away isn't disruptive or worry-some, but I'd be much more concerned if she did something different in reaction to emotional stress. Saying that she'd leave for good next time isn't an indicator, either. People say all kinds of things they don't really mean when they're under stress - especially emotionally.

Sometimes some people just need to get away for a while. You just need to be ready to welcome them back.

[Erenussocrates]

Actually, you wouldn't. You may influence her, but you do not have control over what she is doing. Her decisions are hers to make. As simple as that. If she runs away, that is completly her choice. No one should take the consequences of someone else's action. =D

Second on that.

[Beoran notathome]

Introfate, well, I hope that girl will be OK. I think that many other factors drove her to do what she did, and your contacting her again has almost nothing to do with it. It just seems like she has some serious problems and needs help. However, that's a job for a pro.

[Micijayah]

As you can read in my signature, it says that two characters in Katawa Shoujo "correspond" with the two love lives I've had in my life so far. These two characters being Lilly and Hanako.
When I say "correspond", I don't only mean personality-wise but also storyline-wise. I was interested to see if any of you have also had anything like this happen to them, because I think the reason why Katawa Shoujo hit me so hard is because Hisao goes through the same things that I have experienced IRL.

I'll start off with my two stories, the first being my "Hanako".
WARNING, THERE MAY BE SPOILERS FOR THOSE THAT HAVE NOT COMPLETED THE HANAKO OR LILLY PATH! DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU IF YOU DECIDE TO READ IT ANYWAYS!

Anyways, the reason why Hanako's path was so full of feels for me was, that I have had a "Hanako" in my life. Hanako is the first girl I went for in this VN because she looks similar to the first girl I fell in love with :
Long and flowing dark hair, her bangs covering one side of her face and that long slender body.

Back in 2nd grade a girl transferred into my school from Romania for reasons unknown. The 2nd grade was split into 2 classes, 2a and 2b, both of us were in opposite classes until 5th grade.
She was a very timid and silent girl, one of the reasons probably being the language barrier. When our classes merged in the 5th grade, I took notice of this timid girl and decided to become friends with her, again for reasons unknown.

Slowly but surely I began to bring this girl out of her shell and became very good friends with her. I found out that we both had similar interests and to top it all off the same taste in music.
I fell in love with this girl without realizing and for some stupid reason decided to tell my friends during a lunch break at school (this now being the 7th grade). The instant I was done talking, one of my friends gets up and walks up to her table, where she sits with her friends (now that she has slightly come out of her shell) and loudly shouts "ANON, HAS A CRUSH ON YOU!". He walks back to my table with the biggest smirk on his face while I try to hide mine from "Hanako" who is now staring at me.

The next day, she comes up to me during the pause between classes and asks if this is true or not. I, not wanting to lie to her, told the truth. She replied with : "I'm sorry, but I'm not looking for anything like that right now..." and left me to sulk.

The following month goes by without us talking once, while I suffer a mini-depression. On the first day of the next month, she comes up to me, again during a pause, and says : "I'm sorry about before, I don't know what I was doing, I do have feelings for you. I guess I was just debating with myself whether I wanted to tell you or not. But after seeing you depressed for a month I had to do something."
I was ecstatic. Having the person that you love return your feelings is the best feeling in the world.

The next year passes uneventfully. I never went on a date with her because my parents wouldn't let me, I was "too young to be dating".
8th grade, there's a new guy in my class, tall and handsome. I become friends with him and all is well. Until six months later, I have a talk with "Hanako".
"I'm not feeling it anymore Anon, I can't stand it." - "Just give it a year or two, I'll be able to bring you on dates then..." - "No Anon, I don't have feelings for you anymore... I'm sorry, but I think I like "New Guy"."

Well fuck. The rest of 8th grade passes with me getting terrible grades and barely passing the grade because of another bout of depression. Everyday was awkward as fuck because I had to deliberately ignore the girl that I was still in love with. She would sometimes catch me staring and I would have to quickly look the other way. But sometimes I would catch her doing the same thing, which led me to believe that there was still hope.

9th grade, the beginning of my "Lilly" path. There's a new girl in my class that looks very similar to Lilly, complete with curly blond hair(except shorter) and blue eyes, similar to the 4th picture in this :



Within two days of school starting, I say something (I don't even remember what) that remotely sounded like "I like the new girl "Lilly"." The same friend that told "Hanako" that I had a crush on her yelled out :

"ANON HAS A CRUSH ON "LILLY"!"

Again, there was a stupid smirk on his face as I facepalmed and muttered "goddammit" under my breath.

This eventually leads to me getting to know her and becoming friends with her. She skyped me regularly for homework and studying for tests because I was known as the over-achiever after I had brought my grades up. One day, after we finished discussing homework and I'm about the end the call she asks me if I like any girls in our class. I reply with a sigh and "I used to...". And before I realize it, I'm spilling my heart out to this girl that I still barely know.

"I used to be together with "Hanako" but it didn't work out..." - "Oh, that explains what I overheard the other day. I heard her say something along the lines of "that's another reason why I should hate him, but I just can't bring myself to." - "So you're telling me I still have a chance?" - "Exactly!"

And just like that "Lilly" encouraged me to talk to "Hanako" again. Before I went to sleep that night, I rehearsed what I would say to "Hanako" the next day to get her back.

When the break between classes comes, I ask "Hanako" if we can talk. She agrees with no hesitation and I forget everything I rehearsed. I ended up saying something that I instantly regretted :

"I think you're lying to yourself about liking "New Guy"..." - "You of all people should know that I think about my feelings very thoroughly." - "Forget it, you can leave now..."

A couple of days later, I have a very vivid dream that I still remember to this day, where I'm standing alone in a black room and "Hanako" hugs me from behind and says that she loves me and I told her that she's lying and that she would only abandon me again. I took that dream as a sign that I was over "Hanako".

Near the end of the year, I move close enough to the school to bike there and "Lilly", with whom I have come very close now, offers to pick me up in the mornings. At this point in time, I've already fallen in love with Lilly but don't know it yet. I don't want to confess because I know that she is leaving at the end of year to go back to where she came from, and I don't want anymore heartbreak.

Two weeks until the school year is over, and "Lilly" asks me on a date. I can't say no, even though I told myself I wouldn't get together with her. Again there's an issue with my parents : "You're too young to be dating"(I'm 15 years old at this point), I'll speak to your father about it."

Eventually, I'm allowed to go out with her and what's completely unexpected is that we end up making out (my first kiss). Not one week later, I invite her over to my place. I had planned a surprise good-bye party for her and invited all of the people that she was friends with (basically my entire class, because she was just like Lilly, the shepherd of grade 9). One thing led to another and we ended up having virgin sex in my room.

The rest of the week passes, school ends and we get our report cards back. I got a 90% average and I wasn't even happy, because the love of my life would be leaving in a couple of days. I go to the airport and give her a heart-shaped necklace for her to remember me. I'll never forget that last scene. We finished hugging and we kissed one last time. She walked forwards, then turned around once more and mouthed the words

"I love you."

I burst into tears and couldn't remember one bit of the summer vacation that followed.
When the airport scene came up during Lilly's path, I couldn't stop crying for hours. In fact I'm crying right now as I write this.

Now that I'm done with my stories, please tell me what you think and don't be afraid to post your own experiences. This is my first post on this forum (on any forum in fact) and I hope it is well received.
Thank you to anyone who actually took the time to read through it all, as I know that it was long and probably boring at times (I'm not a writer ).

[Pseudogenesis]

Pretty rough. I only have two things to say.

The instant I was done talking, one of my friends gets up and walks up to her table, where she sits with her friends (now that she has slightly come out of her shell) and loudly shouts "ANON, HAS A CRUSH ON YOU!". He walks back to my table with the biggest smirk on his face while I try to hide mine from "Hanako" who is now staring at me.

Punch him. Punch him as hard as you can in his smug little mouth. (At least, that was my first reaction.)




And second, stay in contact with "Lilly." You probably shouldn't maintain a long distance relationship (Because that probably wouldn't work out, and would only end up making both of you miserable.) Just try and remain as good friends as you possibly can, without any expectations of romance or a potential relationship later. If you're still as much friends when you're an adult and able to move, then you should go to see her.


Sorry, maybe it's not as cut-and-dry as I see it, but I've never had to deal with anything similar.

[Micijayah]

And second, stay in contact with "Lilly." You probably shouldn't maintain a long distance relationship (Because that probably wouldn't work out, and would only end up making both of you miserable.) Just try and remain as good friends as you possibly can, without any expectations of romance or a potential relationship later. If you're still as much friends when you're an adult and able to move, then you should go to see her.

We both agreed that long distance relationships are bullshit, but I am staying in contact with her. She's going to be coming back in August for a friend's wedding, so I can see her again there
It's funny because while she was here, she made jokes about us getting married when we get older.

Thanks again for taking the time to read and reply!

[Pseudogenesis]

Don't worry about it, that's what the board's for.