Hanako's Broken Heart Club

[hakeuncutroil]

Slight delay. Batch sent. You should be receiving them in a few days. If you don't, PM me.

[Redbullet612]

Slight delay. Batch sent. You should be receiving them in a few days. If you don't, PM me.

Thank you very much! We'll all be eagerly waiting.

[Wanderingheartache]

Slight delay. Batch sent. You should be receiving them in a few days. If you don't, PM me.

Thanks, I appreciate your kindness...

[Total Destruction]

Slight delay. Batch sent. You should be receiving them in a few days. If you don't, PM me.

Fantastic.

[Walrusfella]

Redbullet612, thanks for sharing your story. I feel privileged for having read it.

I don't post much in this thread because what problems/issues I have are either sorted out, permanent, or small beer compared to others on here. I do read almost everything, however. It seems like you know yourself very well and are on your way to a better frame of mind. Good luck meeting some people in your new city; there are lots of good people out there who'd want you for a friend.

[Redbullet612]

Damn it, so many posts! I wish I could reply to you all, arghh.

After playing the game, I ended up to this forum and found this thread. Now after flipping trough the pages and reading some of your stories, I find myself in a position to give something back... (but I'm not much of a writer so bear with me)

So yeah. I'm almost 22 years old, have finally managed to get a stable workplace and live with a "friend"... But it just doesn't feel right.

Back when I was born in the 90's Finland was going trough a rather big financial depression and from what I know my parents weren't exactly at the best financial state by the time I came to be. And three years later my little brother was born, not making the life any easier for my parents.I also have an older brother who's from my mothers previous relationship. (found out about this a around a year ago) But as I was the middle child in my family I never really got that much attention and mostly just stayed by myself either watching the TV, playing or building something from legos...

As I grew older and entered elementary school I never really got any true friends... You know the ones that you can share everything with. Sure there were some that you might call as a friend but after going to high school pretty much most of them were left behind and later lost contact with. Only one of them got into the same class as me in high school, but just like the others I lost contact to him after the high school... During the uneventful and meaningless days of high school I found out that I had Coeliac disease. As a young kid I kinda pushed it aside until I finally realized that this is going to be with me for the rest of my life. Back then it was quite devastating when I found out that I couldn't enjoy the same candies, bread or any other food that everyone else takes for granted. Ever since that I just couldn't even blend into the crowd as I always needed a special diet. Sometimes I got teased for having something different to eat but I mainly just tried to ignore it as best as I could.

After high school I ended up studying to be a carpenter, which seemed like the most interesting choice at that time. But after few years my enthusiasm dried up and I just ended up sailing trough just hoping to get at least decent grades on my graduation diploma. 2007 I had an accident at school where I managed to cut off my right hand thumb. At first I really didn't realize what was going on but after being hospitalized for two months it dawned to me that this is yet another scar that will follow me trough the rest of my life. Sure the doctors worked wonders and managed to attach the cut off piece back to where it belongs, but it still haunts me every single day.

For the most of my childhood I had dreamed of being part of the military but even that was taken away from me after my right knee decided to give up under the constant strain and wear. Life in the army was already hard enough with my special diet and my thumb not really being able to handle winter conditions, but the knee was the final seal that ended that dream altogether. And any friendships that I managed to build during my time there, were left behind as I walked out of the gates for one last time.

These days pretty much my schedule just consists of sleeping, working or sitting in front of the computer either playing or watching different television series. I just can't push myself enough to try anything new in my life. I've always been a shy person that usually just stays to himself just so I could avoid any embarrassing situation that would make me feel uncomfortable. I've always wanted to be someones knight in shining armor, but it's just impossible as I pretty much never leave my house and mostly shy away from any kind of social interactions.

This, all of this. I'm only 20, but I know how it feels to not be able to get out of the comfort zone. And how it feels to have grown up with a tight budget. Hell, that's really the only reason I moved to a new city, and so far it's been quite a challenge. Back in my hometown, I felt completely stuck. I had the same routine every single day, and that was it. It got so bad that I had contemplated suicide more than once. I never acted on it, but it wasn't an uncommon thought in my head. I knew there were other things I'd enjoy. It just seemed like there was absolutely no way for me to ever reach them. And even if I could, I was scared of trying them and making a fool out of myself. But that's the wrong way to look at it, and it took me up until now to get that. You can't be worried about the "What if's", for people like us in the club, "What if's" are fatal. They're a wall that we make to keep the bad stuff out. It's like locking yourself inside, you'll be safe as there's always the possibility of being stabbed, run over, etc outside. But you'll never get to see the beauty of the world from the inside. And that's exactly what I did for years and years, until I realized that the only way to save myself is to break down the door and run out into the world. Sure, there will be some mishaps. I may very well get stabbed or run over. Or burned. Or shot. Or bullied. Or crippled. Or all of the above. BUT, I'm not going to think about that. Don't think, do. "Kick reason to the curb and go beyond the impossible!" as the great Kamina once said. Words to live by. Even seeing as how you've had you're military career cut short, I'm sure that there is something that you can do out there that you would enjoy, even with the state your knee and thumb are in. It's just a matter of throwing yourself at things. Eventually, you'll find something you like.

I, uhm, kinda need help with something.

I have a friend/classmate of mine who is like Emi...well, a lot. She has legs and she doesn't like running, but her attitude is exactly the same.

She doesn't let people in, ever. I've known her for 8 years now, and she has never told me anything about her issues. She doesn't tell me what's wrong but somehow expects me to do something about it. And whenever I try to tell her that it bothers me, she just shrugs and ignores me 'til I get over it and have the patience for her again.

I just don't know what to do, it's been a long time and she doesn't let me in...ever...Is there something I've been doing wrong all along? I'm there for her when she needs me, I give her advice...

She's kinda manipulative, she clearly knows how to get what she wants. Ever since her father left her family for another woman, this only got worse. I don't know what to do but to be there for her, but that doesn't seem to work at all.

What should I do? I'm afraid that when she transfers to another school next year, she won't have somebody with my patience at her side, and people will get mad at her, leaving her lonely and pretty much making all her advance useless.

I have to agree with the others on this one. I've been in this situation, still am sometimes, with my room-mate/best friend. She's the type who will let you know when something's wrong... eventually. But not when it's happening. Now, when I first met her I made a promise to myself that I'd always be around to help her. She was the type of person who acted tough, but would go home and cry herself to sleep. I found out about this when I came over to visit her one night when we were still in high school, and she was bawling her eyes out. I was shocked, as she'd always seemed so confident at school. It was heart-wrenching. Ever since then I've always done my best to be there for her. BUT, there were times in the past where I was the "white knight", and that really only made things worse. She hated that, understandably. So lately, I've left her alone. Every now and then, when I see that worried look on her face, I give a gentle reminder that I'm always around if she wants to talk. And honestly, that's worked wonders. Just be there for your friend, that's the best thing you can do. Be someone she can always count on. Don't go overboard with it, but just make it known to her that you care about her problems and that you'll be there for her whenever she feels like talking about them. It'll make her feel better, I know it.

Redbullet612, thanks for sharing your story. I feel privileged for having read it.

I don't post much in this thread because what problems/issues I have are either sorted out, permanent, or small beer compared to others on here. I do read almost everything, however. It seems like you know yourself very well and are on your way to a better frame of mind. Good luck meeting some people in your new city; there are lots of good people out there who'd want you for a friend.

Thank you, that means a lot! Though I am by no means anywhere's close to "fixed", I still have many days where I feel swallowed up by depression. But I've come to terms with this, and after embracing everything that's happened, I've been feeling quite a bit better. I'll never be 100% better, but honestly, I don't think I'd want to be. I'd lose what makes me, me.
And never look at it as other people's problems being worse than yours. As someone already said on here, everybody's worst problems are as bad as everybody else's worst problem. It's better to comment in threads like this, as it usually ends up being beneficial. Even if you don't know it, you never know who might read it and gain a bit of hope. That's one reason why I decided to post my big long story, besides the relief. That's what this club is for!

On another note, this club is amazing. I wish it would be even bigger than it is now, as this thread is something that is making a difference for people. I hope it never, ever dies! Has anything been done as far as IRC or Facebook pages or anything for this group? I'd join in a heartbeat! Hell, I'd make 'em if they don't exist already.

[Exbando]

On another note, this club is amazing. I wish it would be even bigger than it is now, as this thread is something that is making a difference for people. I hope it never, ever dies! Has anything been done as far as IRC or Facebook pages or anything for this group? I'd join in a heartbeat! Hell, I'd make 'em if they don't exist already.

I know that Beoran and I were in an IRC channel, but it was pretty much only us, with a few other people occasionally joining in for a little bit. I'm not sure if the channel is still alive, but the channel is #hanakosbrokenheartclub

[Alexbond45]

Hello everyone, Alexbond45 here, I'm a friend of Borean and I jumped onto his jRPG, (Please go here for more information-->http://eruta.proboards.com/index.cgi#general)
But, I haven't seen him do this lately, Borean is pretty good at making points about your stories. I will make sure he comes back.



My story was one of the lesser ones, I never had that many problems....Kinda...I have ADD and ADHD With an extreme Talent in the Arts (Minus...Drawing in Painting. I mean MUSIC and ACTING) I am Overtly sensitive emotionally, though I have a high physical pain tolerance. I use Caution as well to avoid running into situations that would draw an emotional reaction, which would usually end in Crying...Instead, I give off an outward personality of Professionalism and Discipline. Much Discipline. As a Military History Buff, I usually walk with good posture, and I always put the left foot up first, ya see, Marching Band teaches you this stuff.

But, I'm on the outside of the school zone. I go to school with immature people, such as People who put Relationships over Career. Relationships are Important, But I'd rather focus on Career Building than Relationship building. I plan on being a Band Director with a Bachelor's in Music Education and a Masters in...Education, Or Music. Can't remember which.

Please, keep telling your stories guys, They're really good! I will try to comment like Beoran Does.

Also, There was a massive wall of text the page behind, I'm working on it, But try to paraphrase if possible. Heh.

On a Tack about my life, I have no friends that I can relate to KS. All of my friend's have distinct personalities which cannot be copied. I have a history Buff Friend (Arguments can go on for more than an hour as we play a slow game of Shogi (Japanese Chess) and Chess). I have a video game friend, we talk about games. I have a friend who owns a lot of board games. We all go to his house to play sometimes. Axis and Allies is my favorite, I always Play America if possible. Though, Germany has it's moments......

[yummines]

well, i just missed one of my midterms yesterday. I need to get a B in all my classes in order to stay in college.

so much for that.

i would tell a friend in school but i don't have any friends in college so... what should i do now that i know i'm pretty much screwed? honestly i didn't even like going to school and didn't want to continue school, but even if i want to i really don't have a choice anymore.

the worst part is that i'm going to have to tell my parents when i do get a bad grade, and honestly i don't know how they're going to take it. i myself thought i could somehow manage to do well in this semester. i guess not.

i know it's my fault. that doesn't help any though.

[Total Destruction]

well, i just missed one of my midterms yesterday. I need to get a B in all my classes in order to stay in college.

so much for that.

i would tell a friend in school but i don't have any friends in college so... what should i do now that i know i'm pretty much screwed? honestly i didn't even like going to school and didn't want to continue school, but even if i want to i really don't have a choice anymore.

the worst part is that i'm going to have to tell my parents when i do get a bad grade, and honestly i don't know how they're going to take it. i myself thought i could somehow manage to do well in this semester. i guess not.

i know it's my fault. that doesn't help any though.

Ouch, dude, I feel ya on that one. I'm kind of in the same boat myself. Suits me just fine, as I really didn't want the pointless degree I was half-assing anyway, but it sucks letting everyone down, most of all my/yourself.

Yeesh. Did you go into college right after high school? That's what I did, and I got burnt out and started slacking it hardcore. Now I've got no degree, no school, and no job, hahah. Working on that, though.

Don't really have much advice, aside from trying to make up that midterm if possible. Use some weksauce excuse if you gotta, whatever it takes. Aside from that, I've got nothin' except the fact that you're not the only one sucking at school for no reason.

Keep your chin up, though, and we'll see what shakes out.

Addendum: Diggin' the badge. Respect!

[Exbando]

the worst part is that i'm going to have to tell my parents when i do get a bad grade, and honestly i don't know how they're going to take it. i myself thought i could somehow manage to do well in this semester. i guess not.

I think that the sooner you get it over with, the better. I knew I was failing at least one of my classes about halfway through the semester with no chance of passing (only a few assignments, missed 2). I didn't tell my parents, and I was going crazy trying to figure out how they would take it. I was surprised, since I wasn't in any trouble at all. My parents just said that I should not go to college until I figure out what I want to do. Now I'm looking for jobs, hoping for some not-as-stressful-as-my-last-job stuff. And preferably something that I won't have to interact with the customers.

Maybe you can talk to your professor about taking the midterm late? You never know what'll happen until you try, right?

Best of luck to you!

Also, There was a massive wall of text the page behind, I'm working on it, But try to paraphrase if possible. Heh.

While walls of text can be daunting, I'm fine with them. Just say what you need to say, and take as long as you need to say it. I'm still going to read it.

[BionicKraken]

Hello, folks. I guess you could consider this an introduction; I've spent a good portion of the last two nights reading through this thread, as I'm a sucker for this sort of thing, so I thought I'd toss in a few words about myself before I start replying to anything myself. I don't think I really belong in a "broken heart club," even though I probably would've made good use of it a few years back (silly teenager feels). However, I still cherish the idea of this thread, especially on a board for a game that has touched so many people on a personal/emotional level. So I'll still join in, if you all would welcome me.

I was quite the introvert for most of my life, but I never noticed it until high school, because I always had one or two good friends that I could at least see once a week or so. Before I turned 14 and went off to high school, however, I moved with my old man and my stepmother (they weren't married, but she might as well have been). Faced with a reluctant fresh start (albeit in a much nicer town), I realized how terrible I was at being social and making friends. You can imagine how that went.

It was both my social anxiety and another incident that colored most of my teenage years. About a week after starting high school, my stepsister passed away in a car accident. My stepmother never fully recovered from the loss, even years after it happened. As she was already a very emotional person (and bipolar, to boot), the house was often an . . . interesting scene. To her credit, though, even through her anger or depression, she never stopped caring for me or my father, and most painful nights were eventually met with a (often tearful) apology or such. I have a lot of respect for how my father handled the family's situation during those years, with my stepmother's episodes and her son's withdrawal.

My biggest personal obstacles mostly involved overcoming my own anxiety. I'm not sure if it stemmed from any particular incident; I probably just missed out on a lot of typical childhood things. The process of breaking down my own walls and overcoming my issues took most of those four years. Though I met a few people with whom I talked to during class, it wasn't until my junior year that I found a good friend to hang out with outside of school. It was a certain friend moving across the country, however, that really made me push myself out of my own shell. As he was my opposite in that regard -- bold, very social, loud and so forth -- I would often rely on him in social situations where I didn't know what to do. If he was there to spur on conversation and be the center of things, it was much easier for me to relax. With him gone, though, I wanted to sort of take his place; to make myself louder and more social after his departure. I never reached his crazy level for the last year and a half before I graduated, but it certainly helped me a lot. I'm still a quiet person in a lot of ways, but I'm pretty much wholly comfortable with myself, and I usually try to reach out to people in whom I recognize some of my former traits.

There's not much to my history after that, though. Burned out with my family situation like I usually was after school ended (I would usually escape to my mother's house for the summer, even though my closest friend in my former city moved away when I was 15), I took off to stay there, thinking I'd be able to get a job fairly easily and get to a point where I could support myself and get out on my own. Reality hit in, however, and I realized that life wouldn't be as easy as it was when I was drifting through high school without a goal.

I was pretty much a bum from that point on. I was never able to get a job in that town, struggling without a car and not putting in as much effort as I should've. Eventually I realized how stupid of a decision it was to leave the city where all the friends and people I knew/loved were in, and getting there on my own (as my father had moved far away by that point) became a distant goal. I still struggled to get a job, and also tried to get an associate's at the local college while I was stuck. Neither plan really worked, as I couldn't even seem to get enough federal funding to become a full-time student, and my family couldn't pay for all of it.

I ended up staying with my grandmother for about half a year, as my stepdad had returned from overseas (postal job with the military) and, even though we got along, things were never too great when we lived together. I ran out of money for school while I was there, and truly was a bum at that point, essentially living off a relative's kindness. I hated myself for taking advantage of it for so long. About a month ago, she told me of plans to move south to live near other relatives of mine. My uncle was kind and offered to help us out if I moved with them, but by doing so, I would basically cement myself away from the beach town I so badly wanted to return to.

Instead, I talked to some of the guys I knew in that town, and ended up with an offer to couch crash at one of their places (two of them were roommates with some other people I hadn't met). Still a bum, but I took the option nonetheless, as it was the only way I could see myself ever getting back. I luckily managed to land a job at a nearby Hardee's about a week ago, so with a stable income, I can repay them for their kindness. It's a much better position than I thought I'd be in a year ago.

I'm essentially drifting through life at this point, as there aren't many places I can go from here, tied to a full-time job if I want to keep myself where I am. Even without direction, though, I'm really glad to be here, and not a leech in a run-down city. I've even started the Couch-to-5k thing, running on the beach with a good friend of mine (the same outgoing one I mentioned earlier; he moved back here a little under a year ago). I'm also doing the 100 pushups one, because I'm horribly skinny and need to put some muscle on. I'm essentially surrendering myself to where my life wants to take me at this point, but it's a liberating feeling nonetheless.

So that's my "story," I guess. I didn't mean to type so much about nothing. I've come to terms with most of my emotional stress over the years, so it's a bit devoid of that. I could touch on a few things in the future in this thread, perhaps: a painful relationship with a friend who was raped (more her pain and my guilt, I suppose); a typical 'unrequited love' relationship, where a friend confessed and then realized her feelings were different than she thought; and so on, but I'll leave it at this for now. Many thanks for anybody who bothered to read my tripe. I'd like to join the community here and perhaps help where I can, rather than simply lurking for any longer. Hopefully you all wouldn't mind that. :U

[Alexbond45]

I can't really relate to alot of this, My main problems are Lack of Focus and Sensitivity, though the 2nd one can be covered pretty easily, the first one is hard to get over.

I credit this to Marching Band, Social Anxiety in Marching Band is bad, it's either be friends or be out, and being out is a major disadvantage, because then people will not assist you in your playing. The word is truth. So, I guess I've gotten it better than other people seem to.

I love Music, Performing music (Acting too) are the only times I have been able to fully focus on my task, usually I have something backed up, not TRULY focused, but I'm REALLY focused on performance times.

EDIT: In case you don't know, my Avatar is the Band Picture from Freshman Year. Good times.

[Beoran]

Redbullet612, thanks for your story.

Perhaps it would be an idea to talk with your parents about your feelings? They may have had bad luck in life, but they do really seem to care for you a lot. Perhaps they too would feel better if you were to talk to them about the past.

I also have a small story to add: recently, I suddenly lost my job. I'll get a nice severance fee so I'm OK for at least half a year, and I'll probably find a new job in time. But damn, after working at the same place for so many years, you'd think they'd have the decency to, you know, *talk* with me before making such decision. Which they didn't. And that's the essence of the capitalist system for you: everyone is just treated as a thing, your work is seen as a good to trade, and everyone is just a number on the balance sheet. No one is really seen or treated as a human being. So forgive me if I am a bit angry and upset right now.

Sure, I should have been more careful and tried to play the social game smarter. Or to be more precise, I should have put more effort in just being social and talking to everyone, and make sure people got to know me. And I didn't do that much. No matter how hard or skillful I worked, I guess my bosses didn't know who I was or what I was doing, and then it's easy to seem "superfluous" when there are some financial difficulties. I needed to keep proving my relevance and I failed to do so. I'll keep that in mind for my next job. But still, I'd hoped to get some respect. Apparently, nowadays, that's too much to ask or even hope for in many jobs. So color me miffed.

I wasn't very active here during the last few days because I'm currently slacking off playing Persona 4. In a sense, it's ironic to play a game that emphasizes social interactions while playing al day long, but I guess this game is very relevant for me right now.

Which brings me back to Redbullet's story. I think I know a bit how you feel being a salesman: you gotta be a bit of an actor to play the parts we have to play in daily life. I refused to do that and got bitten by it. Unfortunately, because of the way in which we humans have organized the social structure of society, it's not possible to always show to other people the feelings we have inside. Even if the system of society is alienating, it's not going to change overnight. We have to deal with it in a smarter way. So it's not possible to be completely open all the time. But the roles we have to play in daily life, they are also a part of who we are. Personality, and the self is dynamic and if we can't adjust the situation to ourselves, then we have to adjust ourselves to the situation.

Edit: Alexbond45, thanks for worrying about me. I think this post will explain a bit more about my absence here.
Exbando: yes, there is that IRC channel but it never got off the ground well, did it? If other people are interested too we might give it another spin, but for now I think the audience may be to small...

[Redbullet612]

Redbullet612, thanks for your story.

Perhaps it would be an idea to talk with your parents about your feelings? They may have had bad luck in life, but they do really seem to care for you a lot. Perhaps they too would feel better if you were to talk to them about the past.

I also have a small story to add: recently, I suddenly lost my job. I'll get a nice severance fee so I'm OK for at least half a year, and I'll probably find a new job in time. But damn, after working at the same place for so many years, you'd think they'd have the decency to, you know, *talk* with me before making such decision. Which they didn't. And that's the essence of the capitalist system for you: everyone is just treated as a thing, your work is seen as a good to trade, and everyone is just a number on the balance sheet. No one is really seen or treated as a human being. So forgive me if I am a bit angry and upset right now.

Sure, I should have been more careful and tried to play the social game smarter. Or to be more precise, I should have put more effort in just being social and talking to everyone, and make sure people got to know me. And I didn't do that much. No matter how hard or skillful I worked, I guess my bosses didn't know who I was or what I was doing, and then it's easy to seem "superfluous" when there are some financial difficulties. I needed to keep proving my relevance and I failed to do so. I'll keep that in mind for my next job. But still, I'd hoped to get some respect. Apparently, nowadays, that's too much to ask or even hope for in many jobs. So color me miffed.

I wasn't very active here during the last few days because I'm currently slacking off playing Persona 4. In a sense, it's ironic to play a game that emphasizes social interactions while playing al day long, but I guess this game is very relevant for me right now.

Which brings me back to Redbullet's story. I think I know a bit how you feel being a salesman: you gotta be a bit of an actor to play the parts we have to play in daily life. I refused to do that and got bitten by it. Unfortunately, because of the way in which we humans have organized the social structure of society, it's not possible to always show to other people the feelings we have inside. Even if the system of society is alienating, it's not going to change overnight. We have to deal with it in a smarter way. So it's not possible to be completely open all the time. But the roles we have to play in daily life, they are also a part of who we are. Personality, and the self is dynamic and if we can't adjust the situation to ourselves, then we have to adjust ourselves to the situation.

Edit: Alexbond45, thanks for worrying about me. I think this post will explain a bit more about my absence here.
Exbando: yes, there is that IRC channel but it never got off the ground well, did it? If other people are interested too we might give it another spin, but for now I think the audience may be to small...

Damn, I'm sorry to hear that. I can understand how you feel to a degree, I've always been the guy at every one of my jobs that my manager's manager wanted to cut lose because I was a waste of money (I actually overheard one of these conversations. Nothing like knowing that the company you've worked years for thinks you're trash..) Though I did everything I was supposed to do and more in every one of them. Funny thing is, all of my managers and co-workers, after getting to know me a little over time, wanted me to stay and would push to keep me on. Even now, my District Manager hates my guts (learned that from my room-mate, who's an assistant manager. Such a confidence boost.) and never even says hello to me or acknowledges me when he visits my store but chats up a storm to everyone else. So I can relate somewhat. That's the problem with acting, as good as you can get at it, eventually people will see enough of the real you through the cracks to change their opinion of you. And management never gets an opinion of you anyway, your just a name on a list. Plus, most jobs out there seem to suck, especially for folks like us. If I could only snag a nice, quiet job with a decent pay, where one does there own job at their own pace, I would be in heaven. Maybe a library would be good, pay wouldn't be the best, but it sounds like it'd be peaceful.
Also, yeah, I've thought about talking to my parents. I just can't work up the courage to do it. Hell, I get teary-eyed thinking about the topic, last thing I want them to see is their grown son sobbing away about his childhood. They might take that the wrong way. I'll have to think about how to say it, I guess.

BionicKraken: While reading your post, I couldn't help but smile realizing that me and you are both pretty much in the exact same boat. From the "interesting" times with family, to crashing at a friend's to be where you want to be. I only came to the city I'm in now because my friend offered to share the apartment with me. And now I'm working every day just to make sure I can keep up on my end of the deal.

My biggest personal obstacles mostly involved overcoming my own anxiety. I'm not sure if it stemmed from any particular incident; I probably just missed out on a lot of typical childhood things. The process of breaking down my own walls and overcoming my issues took most of those four years. Though I met a few people with whom I talked to during class, it wasn't until my junior year that I found a good friend to hang out with outside of school. It was a certain friend moving across the country, however, that really made me push myself out of my own shell. As he was my opposite in that regard -- bold, very social, loud and so forth -- I would often rely on him in social situations where I didn't know what to do. If he was there to spur on conversation and be the center of things, it was much easier for me to relax. With him gone, though, I wanted to sort of take his place; to make myself louder and more social after his departure. I never reached his crazy level for the last year and a half before I graduated, but it certainly helped me a lot. I'm still a quiet person in a lot of ways, but I'm pretty much wholly comfortable with myself, and I usually try to reach out to people in whom I recognize some of my former traits.

I found this part really interesting, and I'm glad that you have been able to turn things around to the point where you try to help others who are where you were. I can't say I'm at that point yet, I'm still a bit to weary of people, to say the least, so I rarely get close enough to anyone to be able to help them. But it's very noble of you, and it's something that ends up helping everyone, both you and whoever you reach out to, since the more you help them sort out their problems, the more you'll sort out your own. If only everyone could do that easily, the world would probably be a little bit brighter. But, social anxiety tends to make such things pretty damn difficult... -_-
Still, I wish you the best! I know things will work out for you, as you sound like you've got a good head on your shoulders.

Edit: I'd just like to say that though I am trying to respond to everyone on here now, and trying to be helpful, I apologize in advance if I say anything hurtful or anything that's taken negatively. I mean no harm, I'm just terrible when it comes to phrasing..