Bad Ends

[cpl_crud]

It has come to my attention that some people haven't read how I'd like to end Lilly and Rin's paths.
Well, mostly Lilly's. The "Rin" bad end was just something that freaked me out on a train platform and I figured it was a good excuse.
Both of these were written before the curernt style guides, so forgive the crappy formatting.

Anyway, here's ~Bad End~.

Setting: Hisao is starting to drift off whilst studying; this late in the game, he’d probably be thinking about the girl that he is “with,” remembering that this is an end to a path.
For ellipsis, I’m expecting a pause in the game text, so you might just have to play along there. I would also hope that the sound effects could be replaced with in-game sounds, as would Hanako’s laughter.
Also, later in the scene, we travel to a “dance studio”. Now, this basically is any room that has a few mirrors; it could be a gym for physical therapy, or a dance studio in town… whatever.
Begin.

[SFX] *ring*
The sudden blaring of my phone shakes me from my reverie. Papers go flying as I furiously try to answer it before my neighbours are disturbed. As I key the “receive” button, I glance at the clock on the desk.
23:41.
[MC] “Hi, Hisao speaking!”
It seems I can’t help but answer the phone like a clown, no matter what the time is.
[SFX] “…”
[MC] “Hello? Is someone there?”
A low, sighing breath filters down the line, sending chills down my spine, freezing me to the spot.
[voice] “Hisao.”
The word is barely a whisper, but even down the phone it is crystal clear.
[MC] “Who the hell is this?”
Pulling away from the phone, I manage to catch a glimpse of the phone’s display.
Hanako.
Once again, the voice breathes down the line.
[voice] “Hisao… I need to speak to you…”
[MC] “Hanako? What’s gotten into you?”
I swear, if this is another one of her silly little games…
[voice] “…I just want to talk. Can you come here a minute?”
Something in her voice tells me that this isn’t a game. Something is gravely wrong, and, for whatever reason, she chose to call me. Not Lily, me.
[MC] “S-sure. Are you in your room?”
[voice] “… No. … I’m in the dance studio. … See you soon.”
The line goes dead.
What the hell was going on? Confusion fills my head as I pull on my jacket and shoes. Hundreds of possibilities fly through my mind as I set off in a slow jog towards the studio. Whatever it is, there is no doubt about it’s urgency; Hanako rarely called anyone. In the last three months I haven’t received so much as an SMS, let alone an email.

My breath erupts as white gusts of steam into the brisk autumn air as I round the corner of the studio. I’m surprised I even remembered where it was; it’s been months since I was here last. In the moonlight, the two-story building carries an air of foreboding. I can barely see the roof from here, but I can just make out the painted windows of the studio.
I lean against the door to catch my breath, however it swings inwards under my weight. It appears that the lock has been shattered, causing fresh waves of apprehension to wash over me; tightening my shoulders, knotting my lower back. Gulping back my fear, I push the door open enough to allow me to slip in, and head up the dark stairway. The dim light from outside diminishes with each step. By the time I reach the landing, I am enveloped in darkness. I fumble around for the door handle to the studio proper. Once again, the lock seems to have been broken. Just what in the hell was going on? If this is some surprise party, someone’s going to pay.
As the door swings open, pale blue light streams through; blinding after the pitch-black of the staircase.
I blink a couple of times; moonlight is streaking through an open window across the room, casting eerie blue shadows along the length of the room, almost deepening the darkness around the edges of the dance floor. I can’t make head nor tail of anything in the gloom. There could be a hundred people hidden in those shadows, or there could be no-one.
A breeze whips through the open window, it’s whistling the harbinger of a storm; maybe even snow. This thought distracts me for a moment, and I almost miss the near-silent footstep from my left.
[MC]” Who’s there?”
My shout echos around the empty room, eventually absorbed by the breeze.
A low, sighed giggle floats along the breeze; nearly silent; untraceable.
[MC] “Enough!”
Tension and fear dissolve into anger. I grope at the darkness, and find the light switch next to the door.
[Hanako] “I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” There is no mistaking that voice, the velvety-smooth tones of Hanako’s calmest oration.
I am far too annoyed to care. Who the hell calls someone to the middle of town in this weather, and then tells them not to turn on the light? I have a pile of work to do, and if I get caught out in the snow I’m going to get one hell of a cold.
Besides, the sudden lack of urgency in Hanako’s voice tells me that this can wait until the morning.
[MC] “I can’t see a thing. Mind your eyes.”
I toggle the switch, but nothing happens. Furious, I switch it up and down a few times in the vain hope that it will remember its function and turn on the lights.
[Hanako] “Aw, Too bad. I did warn you though.”
Outside, the wind is picking up, and Hanako’s words are almost lost amongst it. Each new gust chills the room further.
[MC] “Fine. What’s so important that you called me out here in the middle of the night?”
[Hanako] “Oh, there’s no need to rush things. We’ve got plenty of time.”
Plenty of time? For what? Has Hanako finally lost the plot?
[MC] “Whatever. Mind if I close the window? It’s freezing in here.”
[Hanako] “Knock yourself out”
Another giggle; but this time I can almost hear… something else. It sounds like another voice in an adjacent room. My face screws itself up in thought.
Is there another room up here?
Maybe I’m imagining things. The darkness is playing tricks on my mind; I still can’t even work out where Hanako is.
I let out a sigh, and follow the dim blue road of moonlight towards the window.
[SFX] Crunch
What the hell was that?
I look down; it seems as if I’ve stepped in some glass.
Glass? First the locks, then the lights, now glass on the floor?
My shoulders tensed, muscle turning to sinew and knotting upon itself. Every fiber of my being was telling me to turn around and run through the door. My heart, still unsettled from the jog here, skipped a beat, sending the familiar pains through my chest.
[SFX] Hrmph
There it goes again; that muffled voice. Only this time, it’s louder. Squinting, I peer into the darkness again, trying to make out something, anything, that could give me a clue as to what was going on.
[Hanako] “What’s the matter… Can’t find the window?”
Hanako’s giggles were gaining confidence, and were starting to compete with the ever-increasing howl of the wind. Yet, her words are the catalyst that I’m looking for. I gather my reserves of courage, and strike out across the floor, each step a symphony of shattered glass. Hanako just keeps on giggling. As I reach the window, a fresh gust of freezing wind blasts through it, spraying my face with a few droplets of sleet. Shying away from the onslaught, I see that the window frame contains the jaggard edges of a broken pane of glass.
[SFX] HMRPH!
The unmistakable sound of someone screaming against a gag defeats the crescendo of the wind. Terror grips me, and I turn to face the room. With the light now to my back, I can make out shapes; a squirming, crumpled heap in the corner opposite the door, the fractured reflections of the room from the mirrored wall…
…the figure charging at me.

Moonlight flashes off glass, and my heart chokes. As I fall to my knees, the light from outside illuminates Hanako’s face; the streaks of blood tracing black lines across her features.
There is a slight pressure in my shoulder, followed by a sense of oozing. I take a glance, and see a shard of glass protruding from it. My body releases chemicals I never knew I had into my bloodstream. Combined with the surreal environment, I wonder if I might be dreaming. The incessant howling of the wind is now a dull roar far, far away, and Hanako’s manic cackling sounds like she’s trying to talk underwater.
Outside, a car drives past, its headlights quickly washing over the room like a searchlight.
The mirror wall is shattered.
Light fittings hang from the roof, attached only by a length of power cable; their globes lost to the sea of glass on the tarquet.
Hanako stands over me, her white blouse criss-crossed with thin crimson tracks, her body convulsing in the wracks of her murderous laugh.
And, in the corner, desperately trying to stand, was Rin.
Her legs and mouth were bound with black gaffer’s tape, her shirt and pants torn to shreds, exposing shallow gashes all over her tender skin.
In an instant, the light was gone, and the room plunged back into darkness, however the sight of Lilly in danger was enough to shake me out of my state of shock.
Heart pounding loudly in my ears, I try to stand, only to be knocked down again by Hanako. I fall on my side, grinding shards of glass through my jacket. I try to cry out, but my voice fails me.
[Hanako] “I’m surprised at how easy it was to catch the two of you. Well, not her. I mean, look at her, Pathetic!”
Lilly started snaking herself towards me, dragging herself through the glass.
[MC] “Lilly! Don’t! Get away!”
I’m losing coherence. Hanako follows my pleading stare, and sees Lilly.
[Hanako] “Stay here.”
She grabs another shard of glass through my thigh; but this time, I feel it. Pain arcs like electricity from head to toe, and my legs are instantly warmed by the blood coursing from the wound. My heart pounds anew; sending further arcs of pain running down my arms- the onset of a heart attack.
My mouth is open in a silent scream; the minor attack has winded me.
Hanako, pleased with her work, walked gracefully towards Lilly.
[Hanako] “Hello Lilly-chan! I just had a good idea. I’m going to make you just like me. Then we’ll see who Hisao likes more, ok!?”
Tears stream down Lilly’s face, as she desperately tries to worm away from Hanako, but to no avail. Within seconds, Hanako straddles her, grabs a handful of her tattered hair, and reefs her head up.
[Hanako] “Are you watching, Hisao? Now we’ll see who’s your favorite!”
Lilly whimpers, unable to speak. I try to stand up, but my leg fails underneath me. The blood loss is making me light headed, and I can feel my heart beating ever faster... ever faster…
I summon the last reserves of my strength, and try to scream.
[Hisao] “Lilly!”
Too little, too late. The madness that has gripped Hanako is unrelenting. She pulls a third shard of glass from behind her back, and carves a line down Lilly’s face.
The room fills with Lilly’s pained sobs, which are quickly drowned out by the blood pooling in her open mouth. Hanako starts another cut, this time moving across Lilly’s chest, and Lilly faints. Hanako sighs, replaces the shard behind her back, and slaps Lilly across the face, singing.
[Hanako] “Wake up~ Wake up~ You don’t want to miss the main event~”
I can take no more. Falling to my chest, I try to drag myself towards Hanako, still beating Lilly around the head. The glass in my shoulder tears slightly more with each movement, but the pain is dulled. My lame leg drags behind the other; although I can barely feel either at this point. Each breath burns my lungs, and the ever-present thumping of my heart grows weaker in my chest.
[SFX] Slowing heartbeat, continues to slow until the end.
It felt like I had been crawling for the entirety of my life, yet I had barely moved a meter through the glass.
[SFX] Glass breaking
Oh… the glass in my leg must have broken. I think that Hanako has noticed me. The dim room grows ever dimmer, and she is barely discernable from the background.
But… she is getting closer… so much closer…
[Hanako] “I thought I told you to stay put.”
Hanako sighs. The sound of Lilly’s body being dropped to the ground sounds distant, as if in another world…
[Hanako] “Oh well, too bad for you. You get to miss the main event.”
Hanako is now over me, a giant shadow blocking all light. I wonder if this is how the moon feels during an eclipse…
[Hanako] “See! Now I’m the pretty one! Now we can be together…”
I feel something lifting me… something warm against my clammy skin.
[Hanako] “…forever”
Something is spilling over me. Something thick, something warm. It feels so good… so relaxing…
I think I might…

~End~

Final Graphic (Damnit I need to be able to draw):
Moonlight shines through the broken window, framing Hanako on her knees, cradling the MC. In the background, Lilly is laying prone, bound. The MC’s face is buried in Hanako’s chest.
The last shard of glass protrudes from Hanako’s neck, her hand limply around it. Her dead eyes are looking down at the MC, who is covered in blood, both Hanako’s and the MCs.

[cpl_crud]

I pace nervously along the station platform, lit dimly by a caged, fluorescent light.
Rin would be at the gallery by now; probably waiting out in the cold for me.

[Loudspeaker] The next train to arrive on platform three does not stop at this station. Please stand behind the yellow line.

The indicator board’s LEDs spell out my fate in scrolling, orange text. The next train is an express, due in five minutes, but it doesn’t stop here. It will be an agonising fourteen minute wait until the next train will pull up here. I take a deep breath to sigh, but the chill air causes a hackneyed cough.

The racking of my body is echoed by my fragile mind. Doubt starts to creep into my mind. Like a noxious gas, it finds the chinks in my psyche, and starts seeping into my consciousness.
What if Rin *isn’t* waiting for me? What if all of this is for naught?

What if... if it happens again.

My doubt smiles; it has found a breach in my mind’s defences, and attacks at full strength.

Just what did happen last time we held an exhibition together?

Well, you held an exhibition, and then she ran away, in tears if I recall correctly.

My stress has given my doubt a voice. It’s a sickly sweet voice, deranged, yet reassuring.

So? That wasn’t my fault!

Without realising, I’ve started addressing this doubt as if it were another person. The hectic preparation for this exhibition has been playing tricks with my mind, and now my mind is using the fatigue to play tricks back on me.

You’re just going to hurt her again. Is that what you want?

No! I don’t want to hurt her. I can’t hurt her...

But everything you do seems to cause her pain. Have you ever thought that maybe you’re just pushing yourself into her life? Maybe the best thing is for you to remove yourself from her life, and let her fulfil her destiny...

[Hisao] NO!

Without realising it, I’ve screamed at myself. My cry echoes into the distance, unheard on the empty platform. The outburst, however, serves to silence the voice in my head. I close and rub my eyes, trying to fight off the headache that was rapidly replacing the receding mist in my head.

[?] No what? Are you alright? Is it an attack?

My eyes snap open, and I look along the platform. Emi is rushing along the dreaded Yellow Line towards me, eyes wild like a gnu who’s seen a tiger. But this time, it’s me that’s frozen to the spot. I can’t muster any words to belay Emi, so I just gawk at her.

[Emi] No! It is an attack, isn’t it? Maybe you should sit down...

Maybe... maybe my doubt is right. Maybe all I do is cause Rin pain...

Emi closes the gap between us quickly. With one hand, she grasps my wrist to stop me from falling, and with the other she cradles my cheek.
This girl is genuinely concerned for me.
This girl cares for me.
This girl wouldn’t run away from me when I’m trying to help her...

I don’t even have to listen to Doubt’s words to believe them now.
I wasn’t to blame from Rin’s pain; she was. Rin, who only ever talked about her art. Rin, who only wanted to talk to me because I knew a little about a couple of painters. Rin, who threw all of my work back in my face, when all I wanted to do was help.

Rin, who hates me.

I look at Emi, her eyes pleading for a response. I blink myself out of my catatonic state, and look into her doe-like eyes. Before I can help myself, and before she can struggle, I have pulled her into my embrace, and I press my lips against hers.

For one magical moment, I taste the kiss that I have been waiting for since those days spent waiting by the running track.
Then, the moment is gone. Emi jumps back, but fails to release my hand.

[Emi] What the hell are you doing?

Her concern is replaced by confused anger.
So, Emi hates me too.

[Hisao] Isn’t this what you wanted?

[Emi] NO!

I’m confused. I’m tired. My brain makes hasty calculations, and assures me of their certainty.

[Hisao] Why else would you be here, unless you came to see me?

Emi looks even more confused.

[Emi] I’m going into town to meet with my Aunt! Not that it’s any of your business.

Once again, I drift into catatonic calculation.
Emi is yelling at me.
Emi is going to tell everyone what happened tonight.
I can’t let Emi do that.

[Emi] Stop.... it...

Emi’s wheezing words disturb my thoughts.

[Hisao] Stop what?

I look back down at Emi. She’s clawing at her throat... no... at something around her throat. Her eyes are a lot redder than they were a minute ago... is she crying? And that red line connecting her nose and her lips... was that there a second ago?

I become aware of a pain in my legs.
Looking down, I see prosthetic limbs bashing into my shins.

[Hisao] Emi, what’s going on?

I look back at her face, which has taken on a strange shade of red. But this doesn’t matter. For some reason, my hands feel hot. That’s not right; it’s a cool night.

Still in a half trance, I follow the line of my arms to their conclusion at Emi’s throat.

Emi’s frantic scratches at my hands are weaker now. Her face is bloated, and going a deeper shade of read with every second. The rivulet of blood from her nose has now tainted her lips dark rouge.
The colour suits her.

A strange, white aura starts to envelop her face, as if lit from behind.
Could this be her soul escaping? Is this the delicate life force that has sustained my little friend through out all her hardships?
To test the theory, I let my grip relax a little to see how the aura is affected. Yet, even as the colour drains a little from her face, and she wheezes a shallow breath, the light grows stronger.

The thin gasp of air seems to give Emi a new strength. I feel a great pain in my knees, and one of them starts to buckle. My hands, lubricated by the sweat pouring from both of us, slip away from Emi’s bruised neck. I stumble on my collapsing knee, and trip.

Emi’s aura separates from her body. My hazy eyes quickly recognize the source.
My senses return to me in a white-hot flash.

[Loudspeaker] ... behind the yellow line.

As I topple over the edge of the platform, I make a quick choice, and turn my head away from the oncoming ‘aura’ to take one last look at Emi’s face, still pink from the strangulation, but her eyes wide open in terror.

I wonder if I have time....

[Hisao] I’m....

[Envy]

Not graphic enough.

And Hanako seems a little... Forced. She sounds like she`s acting at being a villian, especially with the giggling and the "spooky" phone call, rather than being geninuely distraught and possibly quiet terrified of what she`s doing.

And, in the corner, desperately trying to stand, was Rin.

Also, minor typo but I`m not going to hold that against you. I assume you didn`t want Rin there.

As for the Rin BAD END, I didn`t really like the dialog of doubt. I thought the calling out of `No!` was pretty damn cheesy too, but maybe that`s just me.

Hisao also seems to be a bit... Insane? Insane enough to strangle a girl, without realising it, for rejecting his advance at least. I just didn`t really understand why he`s suddenly go so far.

[Rhedak]

I would have preferred a Misha bad end, probably caused by Hisao two timing Shizune and someone else, yet when Misha finds out and reports back to Shizune, she refuses to leave Hisao over this. Misha, pushed by both Hisao and Shizune betraying/rejecting her, goes crazy and kills everyone starting with the girl Hisao was cheating with and slowly makes Hisao's world fall back on itself.

That being said, I like these ones, too. Hanako's motivation, though being hinted at, seems a bit lacking but who knows what happened beforehand. The execution is nicely done, though not perfect.

Rin's bad end... well it kinda seems like Hisao forogt to take his meciation. Or maybe he drank wich would be bad, considering at least one of his medications must be "don't consume in combination with alcohol". Other than that, it's a bit too cheesy but makes for a nice image.

Please include them in the real game and bricks will be shat!

[Validus Razgriz]

Holy Thread Revival!

Very interesting Bad Ends to say the least.

[toast]

That seems a bit extreme. I have to say, it hanako being hanako, you'd have to push her pretty far to snap, especially with lilly.

[LeeEzekiel]

There was a bad end thread on 4chan a few minutes ago. OP's post:

"Due to some unfortunate malfunction, while running a race, Emi's legs break and she is unable to continue. Upset and disheartened, Hisao carries her off the track and starts to bring her back to the school to rest. Unfortunately, the extra strain of carrying the weight causes his condition to go off and he has a heartattack and dies. Emi blames herself and later commits suicide.

In order to be alone with Hisao, Shizune angrily tell Misha to leave them alone, losing one of closest friends. While alone with Shizune, Hisao has a sudden heartattack. Unable to call for help, Shizune can only watch as Hisao dies.

While having sex with Hanako, Hisao spontaneously bursts into flames. Hanako gets burned. Again.

Lilly asks Hisao to meet her in the tea room later because she needs to tell him something important. Hisao arrives before her, but has a sudden heartattack while waiting. Lilly enters the room, but Hisao is unable to move or make any noise. He can only lay there in agony and hope Lilly notices something is wrong. She doesn't, and leaves thinking Hisao stood her up. Hisao dies shortly after.

Hisao and Rin accidentally get barricaded in a shack somewhere off campus. They don't think much of it at first, figuring someone will come eventually, but unfortunately for them, days go by and no one comes. Desperate to get him and Rin out, Hisao attempts to break down the door against Rin's protests. His condition sets off and he has a heartattack, falling to the floor. In his final moments, he crawls over to Rin and lays his head on her lap. Unable to hold her dying love, Rin can only watch as he passes away."

[WASSHOI]

There was a bad end thread on 4chan a few minutes ago. OP's post:

"Due to some unfortunate malfunction, while running a race, Emi's legs break and she is unable to continue. Upset and disheartened, Hisao carries her off the track and starts to bring her back to the school to rest. Unfortunately, the extra strain of carrying the weight causes his condition to go off and he has a heartattack and dies. Emi blames herself and later commits suicide.

In order to be alone with Hisao, Shizune angrily tell Misha to leave them alone, losing one of closest friends. While alone with Shizune, Hisao has a sudden heartattack. Unable to call for help, Shizune can only watch as Hisao dies.

While having sex with Hanako, Hisao spontaneously bursts into flames. Hanako gets burned. Again.

Lilly asks Hisao to meet her in the tea room later because she needs to tell him something important. Hisao arrives before her, but has a sudden heartattack while waiting. Lilly enters the room, but Hisao is unable to move or make any noise. He can only lay there in agony and hope Lilly notices something is wrong. She doesn't, and leaves thinking Hisao stood her up. Hisao dies shortly after.

Hisao and Rin accidentally get barricaded in a shack somewhere off campus. They don't think much of it at first, figuring someone will come eventually, but unfortunately for them, days go by and no one comes. Desperate to get him and Rin out, Hisao attempts to break down the door against Rin's protests. His condition sets off and he has a heartattack, falling to the floor. In his final moments, he crawls over to Rin and lays his head on her lap. Unable to hold her dying love, Rin can only watch as he passes away."

Yeah, but those were (for the most part I think) just jokes. Though one idea I liked from the thread was the part about a situation where you can't communicate with Shizune, leading to your death. Like I said in the thread, if you get to that far point in the game and still haven't gotten sign language down yet then you'd have the BAD END. Shizune tries to relay an important message to you, but you end up not understanding correctly because you don't know sign language fully yet.

[Validus Razgriz]

Due to some unfortunate malfunction, while running a race, Emi's legs break and she is unable to continue. Upset and disheartened, Hisao carries her off the track and starts to bring her back to the school to rest. Unfortunately, the extra strain of carrying the weight causes his condition to go off and he has a heartattack and dies. Emi blames herself and later commits suicide.

Hisao and Rin accidentally get barricaded in a shack somewhere off campus. They don't think much of it at first, figuring someone will come eventually, but unfortunately for them, days go by and no one comes. Desperate to get him and Rin out, Hisao attempts to break down the door against Rin's protests. His condition sets off and he has a heartattack, falling to the floor. In his final moments, he crawls over to Rin and lays his head on her lap. Unable to hold her dying love, Rin can only watch as he passes away."

I cried manly tears

[LeeEzekiel]

Yeah, but those were (for the most part I think) just jokes. Though one idea I liked from the thread was the part about a situation where you can't communicate with Shizune, leading to your death. Like I said in the thread, if you get to that far point in the game and still haven't gotten sign language down yet then you'd have the BAD END. Shizune tries to relay an important message to you, but you end up not understanding correctly because you don't know sign language fully yet.

I do hope they don't go with the falling tuba idea though.

[WASSHOI]

Whenever I link to this thread I get mixed reactions about what they think of these endings. From "Oh god, yandere Hanako is hot" to "NOOOOOOOO, WHY?!"

I personally just use this as reference to see just what some characters may be capable of doing in the end. "All characters have a little yandere in them".

I do hope they don't go with the falling tuba idea though.

Haha, the guy probably wanted to show how he'd like the BAD END but couldn't really form a good example off the top of his head. I can't really form a good example of what I mean either, that's why I kinda just spun off from what he said to use in my scenario. Not learning sign language right = bad news.

Shi: ...![Signs for Hisao to watch out for the Tuba falling, she's too far to try to save him herself]
Hi: Oh, I know what that means! My shoes are untied! Thanks Shi-[CRASH, BAD END]

Made me smile a bit when I saw the idea in the thread because it was just so...out there.

[cpl_crud]

The sketch ke^4 drew of the Hanako scene is still my background at work.


But yes LOL old.

Even as reposts they date back to 2007....

[Arrhythmia]

Oh man....
That looks so EPIC

[LeeEzekiel]

Wish we could see Lilly though.

[WASSHOI]

The sketch ke^4 drew of the Hanako scene is still my background at work.


But yes LOL old.

Even as reposts they date back to 2007....

Regardless of the context of this picture, it still gives off the "awww, how sweet" vibe.