Katawa Shoujo Forums

Nice. I enjoy Rika/Saki dyad stories. I really like the way you open this one-shot, with the bugs—the third-person narration works particularly well with Rika's interior monologue, and thematically it sets the stage for the rest of the scene in a really elegant fashion. One bit of constructive criti...

Okay, I'm tapping out. There's no way we're going to settle on this. There's plenty more fics begging for me to complain about them.

In this case we have a story about how backgound characters are usually seen . You can call it an experiment or maybe a parody. You don't even have to like it, but I think accusing the author of laziness, because he tried something new is unfair. Sorry, but I'm finding it very hard to believe that ...

Okay, but at this point, it feels like you're arguing more against the flaws of the human race rather than the flaws of the story. Not that you're not justified , but I'm not sure that's what this thread's for . No, I'm arguing that something as skeezy as that shouldn't be presented in the light th...

Why assume our author - that you have said yourself is an amateur, like most fanfic writers - is lazy? Just strikes me as a little insulting to be honest. Perhaps I’m misunderstanding your meaning. You, like, understand that laziness and inexperience aren't mutually exclusive, right? Nor does inexp...

presenting an idealized staff to match it's idealized setting is only fitting I wouldn't call it "missing the forest for the trees," so much as I'd call it a distinct values difference between us. What you consider idealistic, I consider inappropriate. Personally I won't be convinced (I k...

Literally the entire story is terse. It's narrated and scripted with all the enthusiasm of an excerpt I'd find in the reading portion of a college entrance standardized test.

Like I don't mean to sound vitriolic but I'm genuinely baffled that anyone could possibly advocate for it.

No, one character being terse is characterization. The entire narrative being terse is sloppy writing.

I mean, personally I think every word of that paragraph is an absolute trainwreck, but whatever, different strokes.

the idea that these people didn't sound like "adults". I think the term you were looking for was " mature adults" Honestly, I don't think they sound like immature adults. I hesitate to make these kinds of assertions, but the fic just tastes to me like it was written by somebody ...

I wasn't saying those kinds of transgressions are unbelievable , I think the implied benevolence is. I also don't think those sorts of preoccupations would be quite so formal as they are presented here. Basically, you can portray the kind of perverse behavior to which you're referring accurately, bu...

Okay, let's start with Observations and maybe work our way backward, depending on how I'm feeling. I... Hmm. Right, so this is the thing: All fanfiction writers are amateurs, but not all fanfiction is amateurish. But this story? Definitely amateurish. But aggravatingly so, because it occupies this s...

I suspect that if I overlooked these answers somehow being in the VN I'm going to look like a goof, and if this has already been asked I'm going to look like an even greater goof, but the question is hard to run a search on and I haven't had any success pinning down an answer. Are Rin and Misha cano...

If you are going to make a story like that, you might want to include a new character. Don't treat them like a new character either, treat them like somebody the other cast members have known for a while. And if you're reticent to create a character from whole cloth because of the self-indulgent co...

Pretty clear to me what their relationship was, and what they knew it to be. In the absence of things being clearly defined, especially with something as important as a relationship (as it's the entire point of the game) then most people assume that "normal" feelings and boundaries apply....

When you both refrain from engaging with someone else, because you both understand how much it would upset the other person - That's also human nature. It's not human nature . It's the nature of monogamous people . Mature adults would clearly and cogently demarcate the terms of their relationship (...