Katawa Shoujo Forums

If you want real advic, wait for Mirage. Thanks for the vote of confidence, but there's not much I can say about the story yet. No mistakes that jumped at me, nice writing style, and best of all you didn't feel compelled to spell out every last bit of background about yout OC during the first three...

Mahorfeus wrote:Just one thing I spotted. You need spaces after your commas.

d'oh, thought I got that. I'll fix it.

Yeah, I see where you're coming from. I kinda put that whole "wispy voice" line and Suzu's reply in as a joke,lol. Thanks for the critique though

Herro everyone. So I've been lurking the board for a while, just got off my lazy ass to join and figured I'd write a story. Now yes, this does contain an OC, and I know how everyone feels about them, but, well, eh... Anyway, comments and critiques are appreciated, even if you tell me I'm horrible an...