Katawa Shoujo Forums

Good story, one error stood out to me though: Keiji lights up a cigarette as you pour the foaming amber liquid from the pitcher into two small glasses. "Kampai," you say softly. The two of you clink glasses together and drink. You down yours in one huge gulp and start to pour a second. Keiji sips ...

Unfortunately I already have Slow Recovery =/ I've gone down every path in the flowchart, so I'm totally stumped what I might've missed. It's likely something super-obvious. The scene between Proper Exercise and Shanghaied is Sip (Part 2). You should get it by going for Lily and Hanako's path ...

I don't know if you noticed, but William was blinded by an accident 3 years before this story, so 1 year before he started to be tutored. Now, try it : go to school, and spend a whole year with your eyes closed. I wonder if you'll be able to pass your exams in the end. William lost his eyes, and he ...

One thing that seems out of place, you say he's brilliant, but he also takes two years of tutoring to cover one year of classes and still fails. the two facts clash in the story, if there's no real reason for him to be so smart then remove that detail. Here's everything that I caught in the second ...

I''m in the planning stages for my own fanfic, so helping others will help improve my own writing. I'll show changes in bold. I am awakened by a bump in the road. My cheeks are wet , I must have cried while sleeping. I feel my watch , 10 minutes past 5. I slept for a least an hour and a half. I let ...