Katawa Shoujo Forums

When it comes to Nomiya, I think people need to consider the fact that he has not seen the things that we, the players has seen. To him, it most likely felt as a sudden whim from Rin's side to run away from the exhibition without never finding out why. He put much effort and time into it so it's on...

I wouldn't go so far as to say that Hisao is "as pushy." He encouraged Rin because he genuinely thought it would be good for her, especially after seeing her receive, what he would think were, innocent intentions in the form of support from thier art teacher. The difference between Nomiya...

next part will be the last. this ended up being just over 4k words, so i'd expect the next bit to be about the same, but if i feel the need, i won't stop typing until i have nothing more to say. Like "finale" last or "Act" last? I hope just act, because I was enjoying the blind ...

I liked it. I thought it was interesting how you took many of the elements of the original game and shuffled them around: Jessica has elements of Lilly and Miki, for instance, while our viewpoint character feels a lot like a male Hanako. It's also there in the art club, the crazy ex, the supporting ...

Toss up between Hanako's and Rin's neutral endings. Everything else is fixable, but these are pretty damn bad for the girls in question. (and for Pete's sake, Shizune's bad ending has nothing to do with Hisao's infidelity . She didn't even know about that.) Incorrect. Go back and run through her ba...

I just had a thought about why Shizune's route has such a long period of time between the first and second H scene. Shizune's thoughts: "I feel really bad that the first time we made love, I practically raped Hisao. Did I push it too far, too fast? I'll back off now and let him decide when and...

Mirage_GSM wrote:

Doomish wrote:Hisao's not genre savvy enough to think of that, even in real KS! :p

Hey, he's supposed to be good at scientific thinking

True, but remember this is the guy who took forever to put 2 and 2 together regarding Emi's dad. Scientifically inclined or no, he's dense as lead.

I seem to recall you saying that the majority of your writing sucks. Are you insane??? It's possible he's only improved just recently, but yeah, I'm with you -- everything I've seen here has been decent at the very least, and often quite good. If this is work that sucks most writers are positively ...

Nice beginning. I like where this is going!

Hmmm. You got Rin's voice right, and that epilogue was just perfect -- people always oversell that sort of thing, but you made it work. Nice job!

Yuri? I don't recall putting any Yuri in here... :?: Never underestimate the power of a fan's mind. :P (seriously, since Hanako and Sho didn't hook up, and Lilly's going to visit soon, and both girls are available . . . well, the subtext was already there, and now that they have a perfect opportuni...

AHardDayzNight wrote:ahahaha this completely. no idea how you pulled this off. brilliant. although i loved the way it ended on that note.

Meh, it's no mystery. Yuri makes everything better.

I have to say, I'm a little disappointed to see it end here. Not that I didn't enjoy it. I'm just... I dunno... I guess I'm a little bummed that we won't get to see their relationship grow into an actual relationship. Still a great story that I thoroughly enjoyed reading, though. Aw, damn. I missed...

The thing that bugs me about this is that both characters appear to think that Naomi looking at Hanako's scars is a big deal, but when it happens, it's almost completely glossed over. The scars are never actually described, there's just a sentence or two of, "Such-and-such ones look more sever...

I like the pacing. This is turning out really well; one of the better stories here. Keep it up!