Katawa Shoujo Forums

To clarify, when I was talking about wordiness I wasn't talking about chapter length. Chapter breaks are entirely discretionary--they can be as long or short as you want them to be. Think of a chapter break as arbitrary. It's simply a point where you put in a break for a little bit. It has little to...

Glad to see a continuation, though I wasn't expecting one so soon. I'm cool with that, though. If Ascended Flutist is still looking for a second to agree on the gravy reading, I'll throw my name in for that. I noticed it more in the first half than the second (the story felt like it smoothed out a w...

The smarm wasn't necessary. I'd argue the pictures of the catgirls were, but we can have that discussion another time. Her's the condensed version: You're getting your money's worth out of your first person writing. First person is BAMF because you're directly in the character's head. Always. A lot ...

I'll tl;dr ya two posts down (wordiness is my problem, too!) sorry though, the catgirls are gone now : (

*Cough*

Totally intentional. Yeah. Totally. *Cough-cough*

Alright! First multi-chapter story I've picked up on since coming back, and I have to say it was a good choice. It's also the first reunion type story I've read, and I'm glad you decided to keep a sense of conflict running throughout it instead of doing a "happy feel-good nothing's wrong circle...

I'm going to take the other side of the coin and say that this ends perfectly right here. I agree with you that it's got a BAMF sense of finality at the end. It's excellent in that it gives Miki's insight into one of the scenes she's shown in the game, and it goes a lot deeper than what most would h...

Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!

In all seriousness, that's shitty, but as low a blow it is and however much it's a kick in the nuts, take it as an honor that somebody thought your writing was good enough that they wanted credit for it. That's an achievement, dog. Props.

Looks like a great start. I didn't see any problems with consistency of tense. You looked clear there. Usually I'd agree about two disabilities being unlikely, but as the deaf in one ear deal is an injury related disability, and the other disability - as of yet unmentioned - sounds like it's going t...

First off, this is your story, so you have the luxury of deciding how to write it, and the luxury of saying, "I understand your advice, but I'm going to do it this way," to anybody who posts. That said, I'm in full agreement with Mirage_GSM on this one. He covered most of the reasons. It'l...

Laughing, Miki scratched her head, and then sunk even deeper onto the counter. She was leaning so far back with her elbows resting on its surface that her wrist s were nearly cradled in her armpits. Her hand s fell limp on either side of her chest. It was tough not to notice. Bit of a problem there...

A/N: Breathe! Goddammit, you bitch, you never backed away from anything in your life! Now fight! Ahem. Now that I've saved Mary Mastrantonio from drowning, I can put up the rest of my note. First, I apologize that this chapter was so long in coming. I've always had a problem with getting my priorit...

Cool idea for a story. It'll be awesome to see Hanako interacting with somebody other than Hisao or Lilly, and I really like the idea of Naomi as the protagonist. I love stories about the side characters, often more than stories strictly about the story ones - it'll be cool to see what kind of story...

Philip Marlowe would be proud.

: 3

I haven't played Lilly's route. Was it ever said if she had a seeing eye dog or not? I really like the idea.

: ( at the ending. It was an awesome ending, just : (