Search found 5638 matches

by Mirage_GSM
Thu Jun 20, 2024 6:14 am
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Intentions [Completed]
Replies: 30
Views: 5458

Re: Intentions

You handeled the Lilly PoV quite well. One thing to note in the previous chapter is that despite Miki being quite right about the events themselves, that does not make what happened a murder nor Emi a murderer. What happened was an accident, though one caused by negligence - some attorneys might go ...
by Mirage_GSM
Tue May 14, 2024 8:03 am
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Precious Friendships (Shizune Bad End, Sisterhood plot) [Ch79P2 @ 17 Jul 2024: Stripes and Solids remake!?]
Replies: 111
Views: 169817

Re: Precious Friendships (Shizune Bad End, Sisterhood plot) [Ch76 @ 6 May 2024]

“Gozen-yen o-azukari-shimasu. O-tsuri-wa 460-yen desu. (I receive 5000-yen, the change is 460 yen.)” I’ve gotten so used to the honorifics that, even when spoken reflexively, I’m not putting “kara” (from) after the “5000-yen” any more. "Kara" does indeed mean "from", but why wou...
by Mirage_GSM
Fri May 03, 2024 7:34 am
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: A Dream Within a Dream (Natsume x Hisao) 4/19 Latest
Replies: 6
Views: 1967

Re: A Dream Within a Dream (Natsume x Hisao) 4/19 Latest

Thank you for the new chapter. Nothing worth mentioning regarding SpaG, but there's one thing i found strange: There’s a chorus of shadows I've never heard that expression before, so I googled it... Seems there is a book called "A Chorus of Ashes and Shadows"... Still in this context it se...
by Mirage_GSM
Fri May 03, 2024 6:00 am
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Wordplay - (Akio x Hisao one-shot/pilot)
Replies: 3
Views: 1131

Re: Wordplay - (Akio x Hisao one-shot/pilot)

Very well written, though I have to say I don't appreciate characters who come on so strongly to people who are obviously not interested.
Nothing to do with orientation. I find it just as off-putting if male characters act this way to girl characters...

by Mirage_GSM
Fri May 03, 2024 5:31 am
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Finding My Place - Original Characters, Original Story [Completed]
Replies: 43
Views: 8859

Re: A New Home - Original Characters, Original Route

“You’re off to the other two,” Ritsuko says, as I begin to eat. “Giichi’s place, right?” It feels as if something is missing here... The other "two"? and then they are suddenly talking about jobs? "Doing articles"? This is all defiantly out of my league. I think you were going f...
by Mirage_GSM
Tue Apr 23, 2024 10:45 am
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Siphonata's One Stop Shot (Fan-Fics)
Replies: 12
Views: 12222

Re: Siphonata's One Stop Shot (Fan-Fics)

He remembers the good old days where he claimed that Lily was objectively superior,...

It's funny he is such a Lilly fanboy that he apparently married her and took her last name:

The young man stews and sulks in his room. His name is Kenji Satou...

:-)

by Mirage_GSM
Mon Mar 18, 2024 5:50 pm
Forum: Fan Works
Topic: Emi's ending
Replies: 2
Views: 1691

Re: Emi's ending

Yeah, I've also never seen this opinion in regards to Emi's route...
Some people do refer to one of Rin's bad endings as "neutral", but personally I disagree.

by Mirage_GSM
Mon Mar 18, 2024 5:44 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Finding My Place - Original Characters, Original Story [Completed]
Replies: 43
Views: 8859

Re: A New Home - Original Characters, Original Route

So we finally get to (re-)meet 'the Friend'. A lot less drama than I expected, but that's a good thing :-) Just a few comments: It is a weird feeling not going through with it as, even if I had the pager with me, there’s no way it would have gone through. This sentence seems a bit strange. , and we ...
by Mirage_GSM
Sat Mar 16, 2024 6:45 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Uncertainty (A Post Emi-Good Ending Story) [Act 1 Scene 4 March 10th, 2024]
Replies: 35
Views: 38864

Re: Uncertainty (A Post Emi-Good Ending Story) [Act 1 Scene 4 March 10th, 2024]

I really liked this chapter - or these three chapters? Anyway a really nice flow of scenes with a good progression - and not a single mention of PTSD ;-) Not even much to comment on: “Don’t Go Breaking My Heart” by names I don’t recognize and can barely read. Guy doesn't even recognize Elton John......
by Mirage_GSM
Sat Mar 16, 2024 4:57 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Finding My Place - Original Characters, Original Story [Completed]
Replies: 43
Views: 8859

Re: A New Home - Original Characters, Original Route

I don’t really see anything in the vacation besides killing time and having fun for Rei and Gicchi. Nothing about meeting her old friends? Other than that just a few typos: “You don’t want to crash because you went too far without a moment to breath e .” Even after all this time, Yamaku has e n’t r...
by Mirage_GSM
Thu Mar 07, 2024 5:07 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Intentions [Completed]
Replies: 30
Views: 5458

Re: Intentions

Not sure how that went. Very good actually. I was not sure how you were going to portray Shizune after the last chapter, but what you did is what makes the most sense given her character. There is some attachment to Hisao despite only knowing him for two days, but it is muted and not her main probl...
by Mirage_GSM
Tue Mar 05, 2024 2:06 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Intentions [Completed]
Replies: 30
Views: 5458

Re: Intentions

I think most of them are mad at Emi.and the whole killing thing. And those two with whom Hisao interacted, are absent. It's exactly this being mad that I find exaggerated. Unless the Emi in this story is some kind of bitch all of them have hated all along anyway - some kind of bad blood between Emi...
by Mirage_GSM
Tue Mar 05, 2024 7:08 am
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Intentions [Completed]
Replies: 30
Views: 5458

Re: Intentions

Personally I think the reactions of the classmates - especially Miki - are quite exaggerated.
Hisao's been a part of the class for less than two days and has not interacted with anyone besides Shizune, Misha and Hanako in that time - and for Hanako "interaction" is being generous...

by Mirage_GSM
Sun Mar 03, 2024 9:01 am
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: A Dream Within a Dream (Natsume x Hisao) 4/19 Latest
Replies: 6
Views: 1967

Re: A Dream Within a Dream (Natsume x Hisao) 2/29 Latest

I agree: It's off to a good start, and apart from the stuff Sharp-O mentioned it doesn't seem as if you're in dire need of an editor. :-)
Good to see Natsume getting some screen time. I think there was one route about her with an OC but it was unfinished iIrc..

by Mirage_GSM
Sun Mar 03, 2024 8:45 am
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Flutter - Level Thirty Seven: City Escape [6/7/24]
Replies: 323
Views: 223906

Re: Flutter - Level Thirty Five: Chip Damage [1/3/24]

Was a bit funny to see Rika have problems with a sixth grade math problem ;-)

Thanks for the new chapter!