Search found 5632 matches

by Mirage_GSM
Mon Mar 18, 2024 5:50 pm
Forum: Fan Works
Topic: Emi's ending
Replies: 2
Views: 358

Re: Emi's ending

Yeah, I've also never seen this opinion in regards to Emi's route...
Some people do refer to one of Rin's bad endings as "neutral", but personally I disagree.

by Mirage_GSM
Mon Mar 18, 2024 5:44 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: A New Home - Original Characters, Original Route
Replies: 30
Views: 3174

Re: A New Home - Original Characters, Original Route

So we finally get to (re-)meet 'the Friend'. A lot less drama than I expected, but that's a good thing :-) Just a few comments: It is a weird feeling not going through with it as, even if I had the pager with me, there’s no way it would have gone through. This sentence seems a bit strange. , and we ...
by Mirage_GSM
Sat Mar 16, 2024 6:45 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Uncertainty (A Post Emi-Good Ending Story) [Act 1 Scene 4 March 10th, 2024]
Replies: 35
Views: 18974

Re: Uncertainty (A Post Emi-Good Ending Story) [Act 1 Scene 4 March 10th, 2024]

I really liked this chapter - or these three chapters? Anyway a really nice flow of scenes with a good progression - and not a single mention of PTSD ;-) Not even much to comment on: “Don’t Go Breaking My Heart” by names I don’t recognize and can barely read. Guy doesn't even recognize Elton John......
by Mirage_GSM
Sat Mar 16, 2024 4:57 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: A New Home - Original Characters, Original Route
Replies: 30
Views: 3174

Re: A New Home - Original Characters, Original Route

I don’t really see anything in the vacation besides killing time and having fun for Rei and Gicchi. Nothing about meeting her old friends? Other than that just a few typos: “You don’t want to crash because you went too far without a moment to breath e .” Even after all this time, Yamaku has e n’t r...
by Mirage_GSM
Thu Mar 07, 2024 5:07 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Intentions
Replies: 17
Views: 1573

Re: Intentions

Not sure how that went. Very good actually. I was not sure how you were going to portray Shizune after the last chapter, but what you did is what makes the most sense given her character. There is some attachment to Hisao despite only knowing him for two days, but it is muted and not her main probl...
by Mirage_GSM
Tue Mar 05, 2024 2:06 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Intentions
Replies: 17
Views: 1573

Re: Intentions

I think most of them are mad at Emi.and the whole killing thing. And those two with whom Hisao interacted, are absent. It's exactly this being mad that I find exaggerated. Unless the Emi in this story is some kind of bitch all of them have hated all along anyway - some kind of bad blood between Emi...
by Mirage_GSM
Tue Mar 05, 2024 7:08 am
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Intentions
Replies: 17
Views: 1573

Re: Intentions

Personally I think the reactions of the classmates - especially Miki - are quite exaggerated.
Hisao's been a part of the class for less than two days and has not interacted with anyone besides Shizune, Misha and Hanako in that time - and for Hanako "interaction" is being generous...

by Mirage_GSM
Sun Mar 03, 2024 9:01 am
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: A Dream Within a Dream (Natsume x Hisao) 2/29 Latest
Replies: 3
Views: 365

Re: A Dream Within a Dream (Natsume x Hisao) 2/29 Latest

I agree: It's off to a good start, and apart from the stuff Sharp-O mentioned it doesn't seem as if you're in dire need of an editor. :-)
Good to see Natsume getting some screen time. I think there was one route about her with an OC but it was unfinished iIrc..

by Mirage_GSM
Sun Mar 03, 2024 8:45 am
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Flutter - Level Thirty Five: Chip Damage [1/3/24]
Replies: 315
Views: 177873

Re: Flutter - Level Thirty Five: Chip Damage [1/3/24]

Was a bit funny to see Rika have problems with a sixth grade math problem ;-)

Thanks for the new chapter!

by Mirage_GSM
Tue Feb 27, 2024 6:13 am
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: A New Home - Original Characters, Original Route
Replies: 30
Views: 3174

Re: A New Home - Original Characters, Original Route

So a month has gone by... You still haven't mentioned her having called her parents or any of her frineds so far. I know Hisao didn't either, but his state of mind and the circumstances of him leaving were quite different. Looking forward to maybe getting some more info on that in the next chapter. ...
by Mirage_GSM
Tue Feb 20, 2024 12:18 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: A New Home - Original Characters, Original Route
Replies: 30
Views: 3174

Re: A New Home - Original Characters, Original Route

You seem to have put a lot of effort into researching epilepsy and its treatments and side-effects. I learned a few bits I hadn't been aware of before. Two small fixes: “A bit more traditional, but still a little exotic compared to what you’re used to.” So it's both more traditional AND more exotic ...
by Mirage_GSM
Tue Feb 20, 2024 10:54 am
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Yamaku: The Next Generation (COMPLETE!)
Replies: 88
Views: 169421

Re: Yamaku: The Next Generation (COMPLETE!)

Congratulations on completing the story! It was quite the ride. I don't think I've ever seen anyone post such a long story in such a short timeframe - and this high quality at that. A story with Junichiro as the protagonist might be... depressing... Also here my final two annotations :-) She just sa...
by Mirage_GSM
Mon Feb 05, 2024 7:41 am
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: A New Home - Original Characters, Original Route
Replies: 30
Views: 3174

Re: A New Home - Original Characters, Original Route

Now you made me crave Japanese curry... I never heard of that chain before, and I've never seen any, but I'll have to look out for them the next time I am in Japan. Looking at their menu, "7" is quite a lot, though: The menu says that levels six and above are limited to those who have alre...
by Mirage_GSM
Sat Feb 03, 2024 8:57 am
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Yamaku: The Next Generation (COMPLETE!)
Replies: 88
Views: 169421

Re: Yamaku: The Next Generation (Updated: 2/2/2024)

Not sure if this was intentional on your part, but Chikara is a name for males... As are most names containing this kanji or those with a similar meaning... Also "energy" is not quite correct. 力 means "Power" or "Strength" most of the time. "Energy" would be k...
by Mirage_GSM
Thu Feb 01, 2024 7:50 am
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: A New Home - Original Characters, Original Route
Replies: 30
Views: 3174

Re: A New Home - Original Characters, Original Route

So, I've caught up now. Main problem is still tenses; everything else is fine. If you want you can send me a google doc link, and I will go over future chapters for proofreading. A few more comments: I see that the sun is only just peaking peeking up over the horizon. As we all make our way back to ...