Katawa Shoujo Forums

Mirage_GSM

You handeled the Lilly PoV quite well. One thing to note in the previous chapter is that despite Miki being quite right about the events themselves, that does not make what happened a murder nor Emi a murderer. What happened was an accident, though one caused by negligence - some attorneys might go ...

Mirage_GSM

“Gozen-yen o-azukari-shimasu. O-tsuri-wa 460-yen desu. (I receive 5000-yen, the change is 460 yen.)” I’ve gotten so used to the honorifics that, even when spoken reflexively, I’m not putting “kara” (from) after the “5000-yen” any more. "Kara" does indeed mean "from", but why would you put it after t ...

Mirage_GSM

Thank you for the new chapter. Nothing worth mentioning regarding SpaG, but there's one thing i found strange: There’s a chorus of shadows I've never heard that expression before, so I googled it... Seems there is a book called "A Chorus of Ashes and Shadows"... Still in this context it seems s ...

Mirage_GSM

Very well written, though I have to say I don't appreciate characters who come on so strongly to people who are obviously not interested.
Nothing to do with orientation. I find it just as off-putting if male characters act this way to girl characters...

Mirage_GSM

“You’re off to the other two,” Ritsuko says, as I begin to eat. “Giichi’s place, right?” It feels as if something is missing here... The other "two"? and then they are suddenly talking about jobs? "Doing articles"? This is all defiantly out of my league. I think you were going for "definitely". “Obv ...

Mirage_GSM

He remembers the good old days where he claimed that Lily was objectively superior,...

It's funny he is such a Lilly fanboy that he apparently married her and took her last name:

The young man stews and sulks in his room. His name is Kenji Satou...

Mirage_GSM

So we finally get to (re-)meet 'the Friend'. A lot less drama than I expected, but that's a good thing :-) Just a few comments: It is a weird feeling not going through with it as, even if I had the pager with me, there’s no way it would have gone through. This sentence seems a bit strange. , and we a ...

Mirage_GSM

I really liked this chapter - or these three chapters? Anyway a really nice flow of scenes with a good progression - and not a single mention of PTSD ;-) Not even much to comment on: “Don’t Go Breaking My Heart” by names I don’t recognize and can barely read. Guy doesn't even recognize Elton John... ...

Mirage_GSM

I don’t really see anything in the vacation besides killing time and having fun for Rei and Gicchi. Nothing about meeting her old friends? Other than that just a few typos: “You don’t want to crash because you went too far without a moment to breath e .” Even after all this time, Yamaku has e n’t re ...

Mirage_GSM

Not sure how that went. Very good actually. I was not sure how you were going to portray Shizune after the last chapter, but what you did is what makes the most sense given her character. There is some attachment to Hisao despite only knowing him for two days, but it is muted and not her main ...

Mirage_GSM

I think most of them are mad at Emi.and the whole killing thing. And those two with whom Hisao interacted, are absent. It's exactly this being mad that I find exaggerated. Unless the Emi in this story is some kind of bitch all of them have hated all along anyway - some kind of bad blood between Emi ...

Mirage_GSM

Personally I think the reactions of the classmates - especially Miki - are quite exaggerated.
Hisao's been a part of the class for less than two days and has not interacted with anyone besides Shizune, Misha and Hanako in that time - and for Hanako "interaction" is being generous...

Mirage_GSM

I agree: It's off to a good start, and apart from the stuff Sharp-O mentioned it doesn't seem as if you're in dire need of an editor.
Good to see Natsume getting some screen time. I think there was one route about her with an OC but it was unfinished iIrc..

Mirage_GSM

Was a bit funny to see Rika have problems with a sixth grade math problem

Thanks for the new chapter!

Mirage_GSM

So a month has gone by... You still haven't mentioned her having called her parents or any of her frineds so far. I know Hisao didn't either, but his state of mind and the circumstances of him leaving were quite different. Looking forward to maybe getting some more info on that in the next chapter ...

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