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Mirage_GSM

Hello everyone!
Here is my entry for this year.
As always prompt and author’s notes will be at the end for spoiler reasons.

Replacements

It is the last week before the winter holidays and I have just let out class for lunchbreak when Makoto shows up in the door.

“Hello Akio, do you have a ...

Mirage_GSM

It is not easy to bring across so many emotions in such a short story.
Great job!

Mirage_GSM

Hmm... What google images gives me for "chest binders", I would call tank-tops...
Never heard that word "Binder" before, so I was confused.
Thanks for clarifying!

Mirage_GSM

So... I've heard of the game and broadly know what it's about, but I haven't played it, so my comments are from someone who's missing those parts of pre-knowledge...
The writing is good as always. As for the story... crossovers are always difficult to write. TIme-travel stories are difficult to ...

Mirage_GSM

Wow, that was quick!
And certainly not what I expected from the prompt Thank you!

I don't quite understand why his father would still send him a bra as a gift though. Feels a bit... I don't know... Like "I know you're a boy now, but you'll always be my little girl to me..."

Mirage_GSM

Seasonal Greatings everyone!

It's time for the annual Secret Santa !
Like the Prof I'm a bit late this year. Office has been hell those past few weeks, but now I'm almost at my christmas vacation, so I'll start on my entry right away.

As always using this thread to post your story is encouraged ...

Mirage_GSM

You handeled the Lilly PoV quite well.
One thing to note in the previous chapter is that despite Miki being quite right about the events themselves, that does not make what happened a murder nor Emi a murderer.
What happened was an accident, though one caused by negligence - some attorneys might go ...

Mirage_GSM

“Gozen-yen o-azukari-shimasu. O-tsuri-wa 460-yen desu. (I receive 5000-yen, the change is 460 yen.)”

I’ve gotten so used to the honorifics that, even when spoken reflexively, I’m not putting “kara” (from) after the “5000-yen” any more.

"Kara" does indeed mean "from", but why would you put it ...

Mirage_GSM

Thank you for the new chapter.
Nothing worth mentioning regarding SpaG, but there's one thing i found strange:
There’s a chorus of shadows
I've never heard that expression before, so I googled it... Seems there is a book called "A Chorus of Ashes and Shadows"... Still in this context it seems ...

Mirage_GSM

Very well written, though I have to say I don't appreciate characters who come on so strongly to people who are obviously not interested.
Nothing to do with orientation. I find it just as off-putting if male characters act this way to girl characters...

Mirage_GSM

“You’re off to the other two,” Ritsuko says, as I begin to eat. “Giichi’s place, right?”
It feels as if something is missing here... The other "two"? and then they are suddenly talking about jobs? "Doing articles"?

This is all defiantly out of my league.
I think you were going for "definitely ...

Mirage_GSM

He remembers the good old days where he claimed that Lily was objectively superior,...

It's funny he is such a Lilly fanboy that he apparently married her and took her last name:

The young man stews and sulks in his room. His name is Kenji Satou...

Mirage_GSM

So we finally get to (re-)meet 'the Friend'.
A lot less drama than I expected, but that's a good thing :-)
Just a few comments:
It is a weird feeling not going through with it as, even if I had the pager with me, there’s no way it would have gone through.
This sentence seems a bit strange.

, and ...

Mirage_GSM

I really liked this chapter - or these three chapters?
Anyway a really nice flow of scenes with a good progression - and not a single mention of PTSD ;-)

Not even much to comment on:
“Don’t Go Breaking My Heart” by names I don’t recognize and can barely read.
Guy doesn't even recognize Elton John ...

Mirage_GSM

I don’t really see anything in the vacation besides killing time and having fun for Rei and Gicchi.
Nothing about meeting her old friends?

Other than that just a few typos:
“You don’t want to crash because you went too far without a moment to breath e .”
Even after all this time, Yamaku has e ...

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