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- Sat Jul 03, 2021 1:54 am
- Forum: Fan Fiction
- Topic: (28/07/21 Ch. 9) Family: To Lose and To Accept (Iwanako/Shizune GE) (OCs)
- Replies: 16
- Views: 12808
Re: (27/06/21 Ch. 3) Family: To Lose and To Accept (Iwanako/Shizune GE) (OCs)
It's good, although I feel like the dialogue is just too abrupt. Like, everyone is very direct and to-the-point, leaving no room for much breathing. I can't exactly show a good example, although I can try and explain it a bit: During Movement 1, there was a segment where Iwanako attempts suicide and ...