Katawa Shoujo Forums

Man that note at the end hit me a bit. You use a little too much purple prose for my tastes but the content was solid. Nice work.

It is actually mentioned in Hanako's thoughts that she has seen Rin around, but never got her name.

I thought Hanako's characterization was fine, personally. Though I'm highly sympathetic to your interpretation of her as someone that wants to socialize but simply struggles with it, as opposed to someone who actually doesn't want to socialize in the first place. I think your writing did a good enou...

Alright, here's more of a proofread for you. Feel free to make as many of these changes as you want, or none of them, just my observations. The rest of the class cheers loudly the bell signalling the end of classes rings. I think you can use a "for" between "loudly" and "the...

One section where it's pretty apparent is here: She’s really direct… I think to myself. Part of me wants to run, to leave this room and just retreat somewhere, to one of the many places I’d go whenever I wanted to get away from the world. But I don’t. I promised myself I would take Mutou’s advice to...

ayyyyy it's another one! I fully endorse more fics that are more about the girls and less about Hisao x whoever. You don't have much yet but it seems good so far. I'll be interested in seeing what they bond over and how they keep contact. You also have some lingering stylistic issues, most notably, ...

I'm glad I caught up with this. You're making good use of existing canon and it's really helping you sell this pairing. Thanks--comments like this really help to maintain motivation. First chapter of act 2. Here goes! --- Chapter 9: Premonition Hanako watched the cracks in the sidewalk passing unde...

I don't think he was meant to, it seems clear to me that the author used Kazuko as a replacement for Hisao. To be fair, I can't know for sure unless the guy actually shows back up.

Mixed feelings about this one. On the one hand the idea is fun and relatively well-executed in terms of characterization, but there are some pretty bad grammar issues. I also would have liked to see more interaction with the reversal girls, the chapters featuring them felt sort of bare-bones, seemin...

Last chapter of my "Act 1!" Also added navigation links and table of contents. --- Chapter 8: Reflection Misha skipped along in excitement, beckoning Shizune to catch up. The president pointedly pushed her glasses up in response, the visual equivalent of a “tsk, tsk,” but stiffened her pac...

Heart-wrenching, I see what you did there.

indeed

I like this vignette and hope to see more of the overall story, as you've set up several different things to address next (what further importance Rin will have, what Lilly and Hanako will be like, etc.). My pet peeve is over-use of commas, so I have to point out that you have some unnecessary ones:...

Alright I finished the whole fic up to where it is now! Really great work, I agree with a previous comment that you did a very good job capturing the feel of the original game in your writing. I think an adaptation of this would have made a fine actual Misha route in it. I do have one complaint abou...

"An Unusual Friendship" is understating it... it's such an unusual friendship that I avoided this one for a while, it just sounded too weird, but I'm glad I gave it a shot. You're making it work, somehow :D. Can't wait for more! Glad you like it! I think it makes more sense that people mi...

Yeah if anything I would've appreciated Shizune's bit more if she did get in a jab or two of her own, or something. But as is I thought it was fine. I would definitely expect Misha to barge in and say "LOL LOOK AT HICCHAN WITH HIS GIRL FRIEND" because she pretty much does exactly that in t...