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Chapter 45: Assessment Hanako shrank back into herself a bit as she and Misha walked into the classroom. The act of walking in wasn’t itself the problem, it was more the fact they were doing it nearly fifteen minutes late. One of the minor drawbacks of staying the night in Misha’s room… no one look...

Now the real question is, theoretically, if Misha were to cheat on Hisao--and this is theoretical, of course, because Misha would never do anything like that--would it be with a girl? And if so... what would Hisao's response be? Would he get mad (wrong answer)? Or would he say... "it's cool but...

I'm glad you didn't go down the poly relationship route (well you still could) don't feel like that's a lily-like a thing to do, but you also made her gay or at least Bi, if you do end up going down the poly relationship route I just hope you do it well but that IF you do Yeah I definitely don't th...

There were a lot of quotable sections in this, especially from Rin. :mrgreen: It was a major lenny face chapter ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) --- Chapter 44: Resolution “Hm hee hmm~ ha hee hoo hmm~ hmm~… oh~!” Hanako’s squeeze on her knee quieted Misha’s humming. “Sorry, Hacchan~. I’m just nervous.” “I kn-know. You’...

I don't think you can let people dictate to you the content of your story, especially not for a reason like "this triggers me." Some people will just plain not like a decision that you make with the story--if they don't offer any real critique about how you executed the idea, or why you sh...

Seems like a post Lilly neutral ending? If so it would be interesting to explore how Hisao feels about what happened between him and Lilly, as well as how things are between he and Hanako now. You have serious grammar and overall word flow issues but, from the way this reads, I have to assume your n...

Yeah I have to say, this type of humor is just not my thing. I don't know that I can necessarily say it's bad because I think it's just a style that I personally don't enjoy. It very well may be well-done for what it's meant to be. It reminds me of the "lol so random" type of comedy that y...

Chapter 43: Deliberation “D-do you really think we should tell them, Misha?” “We don’t have to if you don’t want to, Hacchan. But~, it’s like I said before. I talked to them about me and Shicchan, two times, and they never told anyone. I trust them. You were there for one time, remember?” “Ah, yeah...

Just wanted to say I really enjoy this story and have been checking often to never miss an update since it started. I don't have any input but I felt like saying I really like your work here! I'm glad you enjoy it! --- Chapter 42: Reckoning Misha felt a tap on her shoulder, causing her to jump in s...

I suppose I'll leave the same comment here as I did on Discord, which is that Iwanako seems a bit lacking in presence. The conversation comes off as very one-sided, with Hisao sort of just relaying his life story while she listens. Which I suppose isn't bad, I just think I would have liked to see th...

Even so, his world is slightly different from ours. Differences will become more apparent as the story progresses, but that's one of them. Again: If your world differs from the real world in any significant way, you have to tell your readers - preferably IN the story and not in a comment after you'...

I feel its not a bad idea to play it safe. Some people can be turned off reading by outlandish scenarios, and some can be turned off by reading normal "plain" scenarios. Your current story is heading in a way that strikes a middle path, providing something different from the normal fictio...

Hmm, a lesbian threesome... is there anything more beautiful than that? Spoiler alert: the answer is 'no.' ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) As tempted as the memer in me is, I think I've probably already pushed this story about as close to the line as it can get. But still... no promises... It'll be interesting to see ...

Apparently he sits right next to Hanako from the start of the story and doesn't realize it's her? Despite noting in his internal monologue that the girl he's looking for probably has burn scars? The writing isn't the clearest but that's what it seems like. As was noted in the thread itself, it's pre...

Chapter 40: Uncertainty “Nnngghh, Hacchan… I think I drank too much… waah~…” “Y-yeah, Misha… you did…” Misha forced her eyes open, the lids seeming glued shut. This was… a unique feeling. Kind of like having the flu on no sleep, after eating way too many parfaits, and the parfaits were all poisonou...