Katawa Shoujo Forums

Okay, the biggest problem is grammar, so I suggest getting a proofreader.

I also agree it is rushed. For example when Maya arrives the don't even greet each other. He wants to skip right to the confession and she goes right to asking about the smell^^°

As for formatting, if this is better than ...

Well first of all, walls of text are not fun to read. You should fix that. Also, your grammar was pretty bad, with run-on sentences everywhere. It also felt a little rushed, though I'm not sure if that was because of the formatting(I was sort of skimming because of it) or not.Kinda hard for me to ...

Prologue: "Keeping a grasp..."

It was a pretty dull winter: No snow, gray sky - it almost looks like the most depressing day in the world. I was sitting on a bench, next to an old elementary school, waiting to meet up with the girl that made my heart feel all warm and pink inside. I wanted to ...