Search found 6 matches

by Eybol
Sat Dec 14, 2013 8:05 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Stickers (Short story, Rin PoV)
Replies: 8
Views: 5978

Re: Stickers (Short story, Rin PoV)

I think she'd drink the water just fine if she had a straw with her, which she evidently doesn't. Uncapping the bottle would also pose a challenge. And the way I imagined it she's either sitting on a chair where she's painting or standing up, so using a table for balance and leverage is out of the ...
by Eybol
Thu Nov 21, 2013 8:54 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Stickers (Short story, Rin PoV)
Replies: 8
Views: 5978

Re: Stickers

I'll leave the "technical" (spelling/grammar/etc) comments to somebody whose head isn't stuffed up at the moment.

But, I did want to say that I enjoyed the trip to Planet Rin. (Which would make a great name for a restaurant. Maybe located at the opposite end of the universe from Milliways ...
by Eybol
Tue Nov 19, 2013 8:14 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Stickers (Short story, Rin PoV)
Replies: 8
Views: 5978

Stickers (Short story, Rin PoV)

Stickers

I'm stuck. I'm staring at a canvas. They're not usually like this, canvases. I can see right through most of them. This one's completely opaque. Maybe there's something wrong with it?

I see the sun shining behind the clouds and the leaves blowing in the breeze and the buildings in the ...
by Eybol
Fri Sep 27, 2013 5:37 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: .
Replies: 5
Views: 2797

Re: The Visitor

I'll leave a longer margin between writing and posting next time. Decently written story, but adds nothing of value.
by Eybol
Fri Sep 27, 2013 6:21 am
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: .
Replies: 5
Views: 2797

Re: The Visitor

I'm sorry, did it confuse you?

Using a notepad-style text editor makes it hard to figure out what's text reflow and where the newlines run. And I might be slavishly imitating VN-conventions, where it's always obvious who's talking no matter how many disjointed pieces of dialogue are thrown at you.
by Eybol
Thu Sep 26, 2013 9:04 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: .
Replies: 5
Views: 2797

.

There was some mediocre prose here, it's gone now.