Katawa Shoujo Forums

A bit short, but very illuminating. Hitomi wasn't the only one not getting the references either!

Short Version: It's a good story.

Long Version:

I'm not going to point out any spelling or grammatical errors, enough other people have mentioned it that I'm sure you know about them. Hitomi is an interesting main character, though I had a bit of difficulty getting a read on her at first. In the ...

a cheerful looking girl with hair a shade of pink rarely seen in nature
"rarely"? :lol:
“It was nice to meet you Kenchan!”
By now it's probably inevitable that in fanfiction Misha uses the chan-suffix for absolutely everybody even if she doesn't do that in the VN^^°

Otherwise decent chapter ...

“Your going to be late.”

I glanced at my mother from across the backseat of the taxi that we had caught at the train station. A small amused smile played across my lips at her words.

“I'm already late,” I pointed out.

She scowled, “You could at least try acting a little concerned.”

I shrugged ...

Fun fact; getting shot isn't anything like it is in the movies.

In the movies when the hero gets shot, he grimaces, bleeds a little bit, and then keeps on going. Maybe he'll stop long enough to slap on a quick field dressing, but he's ready to go again in minutes, and by the end of the movie he'll ...

Homophones are The Enemy:

Man I hate those. I've always had trouble with the whole, there, their, they're, thing. Thanks for pointing that out. I have no explanation for how I put down, "Whole," instead of, "Hole," guess I wasn't paying enough attention.

With that out of the way - I guess this ...

Well, here I go. I used to write fan fiction quite a bit, but this habit has declined in recent years. After playing Katawa Shoujo, I felt compelled to write again, if for no other reason than to get the idea out of my head. I would just like to say that I appreciate feedback, good or bad. I also ...