Katawa Shoujo Forums

Scene One as been revised, hopefully for the better.

It's decent, although the writing style was kind of jarring. It didn't really ~flow~, it was more like "This happened. Then this happened. Now i feel this way. And then suddenly". You should try to "connect" the sentences more, maybe add some new vocab to it as well. Other than that small nuisance ...

I have little experience in writing, but for whatever reason, my family & friends seem to think I have a natural talent for it. I'm giving fanfiction a shot here by writing a story that's been bouncing around in my head for a long time. It wasn't a KS story at first; it was an old love story I ...

This has been a really great story so far.