Katawa Shoujo Forums

Raziel wrote:

Raziel wrote:How does run lack a bush but Emily has one? I think it should be the other way around...

Emily = emi.
run = rin

Autocorrect screwed me over.... again

Maybe Rin shaves. That would be impressive.

Solid chapter :) Yuuko seemed even more tense than her normal canon appearances (based on the swearing); I suppose that has something to do with Kenji. Yuuko thanks Mr. Ito again, and hurriedly dashes inside to change into her uniform. A comma followed by "and" functions similar to a semic...

Out of curiousity, why does everyone believes so firmly that Hisao holds the idiot ball constantly throughout the VN? Pretty much all of the actions of his that i remember from the game are, while not perfect, rather understandable for a deppressed teenager. For me, in order to classify someone as ...

...And five dozen fanfic authors looked over their shoulder, shuffled their feet, then laughed nervously. It's not something to lose sleep over. Scissorlips' Suzu route is still my favorite work of fanfiction, and it is chock-full of commas in places that wouldn't be acceptable in, say, a master's ...

griffon8 wrote:

neio wrote:Consider it a compliment. I normally don't get that in-depth with fanfics here because there are more egregious errors to be dealt with or there are simply too many of them.

When I get around to posting my next story, I hope you treat me the same way.

Sure
Shoot me a PM when you do.

Gaah, it's my high school English teacher all over again. But it's a fair point, and I need to hear it as much as it may be loathed . Consider it a compliment. I normally don't get that in-depth with fanfics here because there are more egregious errors to be dealt with or there are simply too many ...

Hmmmmmmmm...............
HHHHHHHHHHHMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM


Ok, I think I've deciphered it.

Why does Rin paint instead of Emi? How does she do it?

Rin uses her toes to paint. She's defying her condition, just like the legless wonder-runner does.

I admit, I've been avoiding this route because of the OC, but it's actually a great read. It's obvious you've spent a lot of time on it, and you have a better grasp of technical English than most other fanfic writers here. Here are my thoughts on Scene 12 after my first reading (and maybe a few on t...

How does run lack a bush but Emily has one? I think it should be the other way around... Emily doesn't want to be a gardener, but there's maybe something there about Emily's family circumstances that make her obsessive about house plants. Bushes get in the way of running so it's pretty natural a ru...

HLGU wrote:by the way neio, where did you get such high resolution pic of Emi?
it's even bigger than the game's resolution !

Hey look, a squirrel!

It's completely normal. The first time I got Emi, and the second time I went for Lilly. On the second playthrough, though, Emi bumped into me in the hallway (see attached). I muttered to myself, "how am I supposed to NOT love that?" Cue puppy eyes. I played Emi's route again. :oops: Eventu...

Freaking Shizune waiting for them at the dorms, I would've told her to screw off and walked past her. I was infinitely frustrated reading about Shizune splitting Hisao and Suzu up, it's not even her place to involve herself in such matters. The mark of good fictional writing is the ability to impar...

Who did the cover art?

Your writing leaves a lot to be desired. You change tense often for no reason. There are very frequent spelling, grammar, and punctuation mistakes. While it seems to be the norm for literotica, your use of childish metaphors for sexual organs and their uses takes away a lot of the mood of the story...

DanjaDoom wrote:

epicmuffin18 wrote:YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES

yes.gif

I watched that for a disturbingly long time